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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD 17 hurt

56 replies

goldtinsel · 12/12/2010 09:27

She came home with facial injuries because her BF got drunk and angry. She says these things happen with boys and is waiting for him to wake up so she can tell him everything is OK.

WTF can make her see sense???

OP posts:
merrycompo · 12/12/2010 09:28

Calling the police

Catchthewind · 12/12/2010 09:30

Take photos

call the police

Sorry

Goblinchild · 12/12/2010 09:33

Sad What kind of boys does she know, if she thinks that's the norm?
I have no experience in this, but she's not an adult so I suppose you can call the police against her will, and get them to document it so that when it becomes a pattern, they have past evidence to build a case.
Did he mean to hit her, or was he drunk and flailing and she got hit? Was he angry with her?
Never, ever OK, but it would matter to me whether he knew what he was doing or not.
Someone will be along to tell you of organisations and places to go for support, but I can't imagine how you feel to see your child battered and compliant about it. Angry

shongololo · 12/12/2010 09:34

i agree. Its assault. SHe needs to see you take this seriously, so she doesn't think its OK. I presume the DV unit at the police will be used to seeing this, and will be able to put more sense in her head than you, who will be accused of hating her BF.

sandyballs · 12/12/2010 09:34

'These things happen with boys!!', bloody hell, where did she get that idea from. I'd call the police as well I think.

This kind of thing freaks me out the nearer my two girls get to their teens.

Hope she is ok.

sandyballs · 12/12/2010 09:36

Has she got a dad or uncle or some big brothers who can pay him a visit Angry.

Sorry, I know that isn't the answer, but must be very tempting.

ChoudeBruxelles · 12/12/2010 09:37

Do you know is parents? I would call them and say I was going to photograph her and call the police.

shongololo · 12/12/2010 09:37

look here

KangarooCaught · 12/12/2010 09:37

The only thing he ought to be seeing when he wakes up is the inside of a cell.

Actually, no, he would be seeing dh first.

Maybe look for some youtube adverts about domestic violence against women and show them to dd?

ChoudeBruxelles · 12/12/2010 09:37

Have a look at the women's aid site and see if there is any advice there

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2010 09:37

omg! i would do exactly as pp said... take pictures and call the police.

she's waiting for him to wake up so she can tell him everything is ok????? my god

TheMonster · 12/12/2010 09:38

Please call the police. They don't need her to complain to press charges.

shongololo · 12/12/2010 09:38

and here

ohforfoxsake · 12/12/2010 09:44

Contact Womens Aid yourself and ask their advice.
She needs to stop this now and understand this is NOT acceptable and everything is NOT Ok.
Good luck, I hope she is OK.

sarah293 · 12/12/2010 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

colditz · 12/12/2010 09:47

call the police and press charges.

Original poster
goldtinsel · 12/12/2010 09:48

She won't hear anything against him, he has her where he wants her in terms of control.

I'll show her the links, thanks.

I know his mum but she'll do the usual 'what can you do??' thing and his dad thinks DD is the cause of any trouble anyway.

OP posts:
haveyouanywool · 12/12/2010 09:54

If this were the other way around would it be different? Thinking of my own DS in a volatile relationship atm...

Is it all about self-esteem? That they are so needing of 'love' they'll put up with anything? I don't get it at all :(

Alouiseg · 12/12/2010 09:54

You are her Mother, she needs protecting from this thug! You have a duty to call the police.

ShanahansRevenge · 12/12/2010 09:54

If it were me I would twat the little shit myself....is there any way of getting er away for a bit? Maybe help her apply for a seasonal job somewhere for the Summer?

asdx2 · 12/12/2010 09:55

OMG so sorry. I would urge you to call the police, you need to show dd that it is not acceptable or normal.
I stopped the car once when I saw one of my ds's friends being verbally aggressive to a girlfriend. He was mortified I think I saved the girl from a slap Sad
For him though he thinks it's normal because he sees his dad do the same maybe this boys parents model this sort of behaviour too.
Take a stand, somebody needs to.

ArentFanny · 12/12/2010 09:55

For Gods sake call the police.

ArentFanny · 12/12/2010 09:56

Please don't stand around and watch your daughter being assaulted and not do anything.

Alouiseg · 12/12/2010 09:59

Just asked dh what he would do.

...he wouldn't involve the police, he would pay him a visit. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

itwascertainlyasurprise · 12/12/2010 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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