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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Just read all the teen tread titles - roll on the teen years

65 replies

Wottknott · 14/09/2010 14:41

One teen already, one to follow shortly - now I know why my mother used to say "you wait till there're teens"

It's a whole new ball game.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 15/09/2010 17:22

" those who find their teens very easy may either be permitting everything or closing their eyes. Try reading the thread about what your parents didn't know "

Or maybe we've just got it right. :P
Someone has to be at the far right-hand side of the bell curve.

2shoes · 15/09/2010 17:26

well I must be getting it wrong and ds tells me everything.
no eyes shut here.
ok I am lucky that ds refuses to drink alcohol, think that is his rebellion

Goblinchild · 15/09/2010 17:28
Grin The upside of Aspies.
2shoes · 15/09/2010 17:34

well ds is nt, but dd is 15 and never causes me any trouble(well apart from stuff to do with the CP)

Goblinchild · 15/09/2010 17:41

Mine likes consistent rules, so he helps out in the house, uses please and thank you, doesn't expect to be waited on because it's never happened. He even cleans the bath and does gardening. We worked on identifying triggers for meltdowns and so we have a calm house with explanations based in logic for the way things work out in our family.
Dislikes the taste of curries, fast food and alcohol and disapproves of smoking.
DD is much the same.
Makes up for his explosive years up to becoming a teenager. Now they were hard to survive and stay sane!

2shoes · 15/09/2010 17:44

oh ds hates smoking>>
he says there is no point in alcohol as he is mad enough with out it lol
dd like a drop of beer though.

tbh ds is a normal teen, he has to be nagged, but he doesn't get into trouble, and hangs arround with a nice crown

Goblinchild · 15/09/2010 17:51

DD's friends are lovely.
Even the Shagmeister General is always polite and takes no for an answer from girls without whining or insults. They are a diverse crowd of around a dozen, not angelic but tolerant and likeable.

2shoes · 15/09/2010 17:52

well i am so glad DS's GF is nic, the last one was a night mare.
although I am finding this grown up relationship hard to get used to................................

maryz · 15/09/2010 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goblinchild · 15/09/2010 18:07

Oh, I'm content to go with lucky as a reason.
Rather than being idle and indifferent, or naive as a parent.
Grin

maryz · 15/09/2010 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 15/09/2010 18:11

" those who find their teens very easy may either be permitting everything or closing their eyes"

actually that annoys me

it is snyde and passive aggressive - like the people who endlessly suggest that if you have a happy marriage you are just deluded and they are probably fucking your best friend

My Dss are nice kids. I think adversity has made them so but it is true nonetheless

maryz · 15/09/2010 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointydog · 15/09/2010 19:06

Of course teens do things their parents don't know about. That doesn't mean their parents are permissive or shutting their eyes and it certainly doesn't mean that all teens are hellish difficult.

P.S. 'snyde' ye olde paggewatch? Wink

AnyFucker · 15/09/2010 19:07

Grin at "snyde"

Manda25 · 15/09/2010 19:14

I LOVE teenagers ...I have one of my own - although he is nearly 20 ...and i have also worked with teenagers in care for 15 yrs. Give me a room full of them over a baby any day of the week.

Original poster
Wottknott · 15/09/2010 19:27

the typos are lovely
'and hangs arround with a nice crown' (crowd?) - I now have visions of 2shoes ds with a robe and throne - and rightly so!

Wink wotz x
OP posts:
2shoes · 15/09/2010 21:46

pagwatch you are very clever, and I agree with you yet again.

2shoes · 15/09/2010 21:47

Wottknott oops just seen that.....
well tbh one of the girls is a bit of a queen bee, and one of the boys is a bit of a queen

Just13moreyearstogo · 15/09/2010 21:51

I dreaded having a teenager but it's been a really pleasant surprise.

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 15/09/2010 22:15

I also want to chip in that my teens sort of duplicate how they were as pre schoolers, with all the exhaustion that goes with growing rapidly and school and the confusion of making sense of the world.

Does that make sense to any one else?

For example tonight my youngest kicked off about watching the programme his sister an I were watching on TV.
he threw a proper tantrum,(shouting lashing out etc) but eventually calmed down and the essence boiled down to this: I was very late back from work, having first picked up his sister from school, he was upset about being home alone for almost 2 hours, he wasn't sure where we were, he was hungry,dinner was no where near ready, he'd thought his older sister would be in but she's at work, he'd been up since 6.30am this morning,

Now this doesn't excuse bad behaviour but it does help explain it.

We've talked about the tantrum and have agreed terms, on both parts, mine and his.
calm reigns (for the time being)

nottirednow · 16/09/2010 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pagwatch · 16/09/2010 09:51

See there you go again.
I am not smug about it. why so snydeeeee ?( coppywrite @ pagtwat postings 1723 )

I said my teenagers are nice, lovely. I didn't say they were perfect. I didn't say they weren't rebellious. You seem determined that either it is not true and I am a blind idiot or it is true ergo they are stunted and their lack of rebellion is worrying. Obviouslythe only impossible scanrio is just that they are nice kids.

Equally why are you posting as if this is aboout me? The choices that they make in life are in large part about them and nothing to do with me. Why would you assume that if I think my kids are ok that it mean i "have got it all right"? Ds1 is far more intelligent than me and has far more sense than I did at that age. That is him - nowt to do with me.

You are just chosing different ways to be rude now based upon not having any clue about me or my children - all just through insinuation and an assumption that all teenagers must be as you see them

2shoes · 16/09/2010 09:58

pagwatch do't let it get to you, there are some people who will just not believe that all teens are not the same, they like the idea of them going of the rails and being bad, maybe so that when their probably small children are older and really good, they can think they are perfect.

imo there are bad teens(take the shit up the road) but the good one far out number them.

pagwatch · 16/09/2010 09:59

I think that sometimes teenagers live down to how we start talking about them.
There is a thread where the whole of MN went ballistic because a poster talked about a toddler being a wee shite. Loads of people said 'he is a child, he is learning, don't call him names' and yet our default setting is that teenagers are lazy selfish useless lying theiving fould mouthed etc etc.....
...Now to the extent that anyone who says they are not that stereotype gets Hmm

I agree you have to pick your battles and I agree too that it is hugely about keeping communication open, having clear lines about what is and what is not Ok.
But I think deciding that they are 'bad' in the absence of any evidence is pretty harsh

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