101 ways to embarrass your teenager.

[LoisInTheMiddle]

I have discovered what fun it can be embarrassing teens. And so easy.

I always knew that teenagers found their parents embarrassing and my 14 year old DS has now reached that stage. What I didn?t know was how little it takes to cause intense embarrassment and humiliation.
I have turned into Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Apparently I am the most embarrassing person on the planet. Did I dance at his school disco? Kiss him in front of his friends? Wear something unsuitable for my age? No, nothing like that

This is what I did.
We were on holiday in a self service restaurant at the pool bar. Alongside the cutlery were some table mats so I took four knives and forks and four table mats and set them out on our table. DS1 sat down and said, while looking as though he wanted to crawl under the table,
?Mum , how could you??.
?What have I done??
?The mats. No one else has table mats.?
?Well I thought they improved the sticky plastic table?
?Mum, I beg you, please never do the table mats again?

Of course I made it worse by laughing.

Mums of teens tell me yours. Have you managed to humiliate your teen with anything as trivial?

oh this is fab. will watch and learn for when mine hit this age!

I don't know why my speech marks have turned into question marks.
I thought of another. In a restaurant on the same holiday we had waited 45 minutes for a waiter. We wanted the bill and they were all carefully avoiding eye contact. So as a waiter passed our table I said "excuse me".
Waiter came and duly brought the bill.
DS was mortified that I had, according to him,shouted across the restaurant and shown us all up.

yes - today, I sat on the seat next to him on the tube - mortifying apparently (he's 13)

I bought my ds a PS3 game in Tesco's today and made him give me a thank you hug and kiss. (Twice, because the first time was a bit half-hearted).

He was almost sobbing with the shame, but it was that or no game. Mwah hah hah.

My child was excruciatingly embarrassed when I offered another mum a drink from my bottle of water when she was having an awful coughing fit in the street

Before dd1's boyfriend first came round, we were told that we weren't allowed to talk to him . I dished up some tea for them and when the skulked into the kitchen to get it, I told the boyfriend that he had to eat upstairs because we weren't allowed to speak, HAHAHAHA. God, that one had me laughing for days (I like the boyfriend, and we get on quite well now that we're allowed to acknowledge each other)

basildon - next time sit opposite him and stare alot. Then when the tube is a bit fuller lean forward and say in a loud whisper "excuse me....but aren't you basildonsson from off the telly? it is you isn't it? i knew it was, i'd know you anywhere"

Than watch him squirm....

Running onto the cricket pitch, glass of wine in hand because ds1 had fallen over.

Ds 1 is 13. He told me to go away, sort of.

Comment on their fb status

Our very existence is enough for ds(14). He asked for a lift one day to a bus stop and as usual specified that he wanted to be dropped off around corner so wouldnt be seen with us.
As I was driving him there he said
"why do you have to drive me, it's soo embarrassing".

I reminded him he'd actually asked.

I love the book "Get out of my life but first can you give me and Alex a lift into town".

Ooh I cant wait to be an embarrassing mother! I'm taking notes.

My friend is writing down her DS's embarrassing moments into a note book so that she can read them all out at his 18th. Her DS is three!

Sally- yes, when ds wants money or a lift somewhere I am his favourite person until he has what he wants.

Sorry, not sally but supersalstrawberry.

Me and dp have embarrassed our teenager in the following ways:

• walking " in a funny way."
• holding hands while walking within 200 metres of her.
• walking normally.
• saying the word "random" ( we are too old)
• wearing a shirt with some pink in it ( dp this is)
• eating fruit.
• singing to coward of the county, by kenny rogers in a shop.
• wearing nail varnish.
• using sanitary towels, not tampons.
• watching a black and White film
• reading the guardian

Ask him what he thinks of Trent Reznors side project 'How to Destroy Angels' in front of his mates and then say you have downloaded it free from the HTDA website.

Go to ANY gig.

Snog his dad!

Tell him about the new downhill purpose built mountain bike track that has opened and rave about it! (He hasn't been on it yet!)

Come home drunk and putting Judas Priest on loud on the iPod and use the coffee tabe as a monitor like I'm on stage

Oh I could go on but the thing is I don't do it to embarrass him - this is just me!!

How many times do you think I hear MUUUUUUUMMM!!!! You're soooooooooo embarrassing!?

Apparently all his friends have said we are embarrassing and they are glad we are not their parents. All of his friend's parents also think we are embarrassing.
So it must be true then.

When refusing to give him money I was told we should be able to fund our children properly like all his friends parents do or shouldnt have had them.

My 14 yr dd says "her friends parents are normal" i'm not as i do the following
1)kiss husband in public and at home
2)ask her how school is/friends/boyfriends about home work
3)go out and get merry with my friends
4)want another discreet tatoo
5)and breath

Rainbow I also love the book "Get out of my life but first can you give me and Alex a lift into town".

He asked me not to have photos of him as my desktop background in case someone sees. I have searched out a particularly good one taken when he was 3 and had found a stash of dummys. He has 3 dummys in his mouth.

This is revenge for all those occasions when they did something awful in the supermarket when they were little.

Oooh yes... comment on their facebook status.

DD who is past teenage years now, posted that she had hurt herself by getting a bit of glass stuck in her foot.

I replied with 'is that to go with the wooden splinter in bum?'

(I had taken her to A&E with massive splinter stuck in her bum the week before)

The first time i bought my new bf home from Uni my DMum had mistimed when we would be arriving. She was in the front garden cleaning up dog poo with a spade wearing yeti slippers and, for reasons lost in the mists of time, a horror Mr Punch mask on the back of her head with the elastic under her nose.

Why he didn't run until he reached the coast then i'll never know....

Reader, i married him - so it is entirely his fault if he ends up with a batty wife. He had his chance to escape...

you lot are mean! (but brilliant)

I doubt the friends actually think you are embarrassing, nothing teenagers like more than watching their friends get embarrassed by their parents. My parents were very popular with my friends for their many humiliating gems.