101 ways to embarrass your teenager.

[LoisInTheMiddle]

I have discovered what fun it can be embarrassing teens. And so easy.

I always knew that teenagers found their parents embarrassing and my 14 year old DS has now reached that stage. What I didn?t know was how little it takes to cause intense embarrassment and humiliation.
I have turned into Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. Apparently I am the most embarrassing person on the planet. Did I dance at his school disco? Kiss him in front of his friends? Wear something unsuitable for my age? No, nothing like that

This is what I did.
We were on holiday in a self service restaurant at the pool bar. Alongside the cutlery were some table mats so I took four knives and forks and four table mats and set them out on our table. DS1 sat down and said, while looking as though he wanted to crawl under the table,
?Mum , how could you??.
?What have I done??
?The mats. No one else has table mats.?
?Well I thought they improved the sticky plastic table?
?Mum, I beg you, please never do the table mats again?

Of course I made it worse by laughing.

Mums of teens tell me yours. Have you managed to humiliate your teen with anything as trivial?

Oh Yeah I've just remembered DS2 shouting 'Why can't you listen to Phantom of the Opera like a normal mum' Not impressed at all when I put Iron Maiden's Phantom on!!

No pleasing some kids!

I am sooooo looking forward to my lot being teenagers so I can embarrass them. Makes up for the other side of them being teens.

Our DSs are only age 8 and 10 but already a list is building:

Kissing DW - very embarrassing
Wearing pink shirt - very embarrassing
Taking them to school - very embarrassing
Asking if they have a girlfriend - very embarrassing

Cant wait for age 12 and 14.

I teach in daughter's school. No further effort required.

I find the best way to cause maximum squirmige is to talk in a middle aged mum's idea of yoof speak.

The 'kids' love it, they really do.

You need a basic grasp of the latest slang and mix it with some from your own youth (wicked, nah man, whappen etc) and some (obviously) made up stuff (nanky, tarkle etc) chuck in a bit of hoplessly naff (trendy, with it etc) and you are there!

Never fails and it stops them from talking like lickle ganstas innit!

hahaha this thread is making me laugh. My dc aren't teens yet, ds is 11, almost 12 mum! and dd is 4.
Ds is already showing signs of being embarassed by me- walking behind us when we are out esp. near to school etc where his friends live. Most emberassed when I recently went to work in his school for a week- until his friends all came over to chat with me, then it was acceptable that is was there

please though none of you do what my mum did to me when I was 16- she told my bf the first time she met him that I would make a fantastic wife!

She also joined a dating agency, not a prob I hear you say. It wasn't until she started dating my bf dad! he wasn't my bf for long after that as neither of us could take the jokes from friends about double dating with our parents ...........

I only have to exist to embarrass my two lately. Dp, on the other hand, seems to get away with murder. They only tell him off when he pretends to bowl cricket balls along the pavement when walking with them.

My favourite thing is to sing along loudly whenever they play The Smiths in Gap (which is v often). The dds don't like that at all. They also get very, very cross if I do my (frankly, excellent) Zombie impression behind them, whenever they insist on walking 20 yards in front of me.

See, they have to walk in front not behind to be real teenagers - otherwise they still have to look at you, which is horribly embarrassing in itself.

HAHA ghoul thanks for clarify the teen thing I will watch to see when ds start to walk in front- and try out the zombie impression

Calling their friends by their full names gets me into big trouble with my teenagers.

Also calling their friends by their shortened versions of their names.

Also calling them by their nicknames.

Speaking at all really

I picked up DS at a train station, he didnt see me so I got out wearing my 76 yr old aunts hand me downs, white trainers, coloured trousers that were too short and a dreadful fleece. He said you look like a mum. Yes dear YOUR mum!! I loved it!

DH and I recently took him to a work placement and as he got out infront of his friends (and their obviously trendy parents) shouted, "have you got your pyjamas?" "Wave goodbye to us, LOVE YOUUUU"

Or a good one, if they let you go to town with them for some unknown reason, if they meet their friends, go up and chat to them like they are your friends too.

Just asked eldest ds if he can remember me embarassing him as a teenager (he's 20). He said 'not really' !! - I've just promoted him to Favourite DC of the Evening

Different story for DD, 17 now, my mere existence is Soooooooooo Embarassing

and another....

I have an old car with a sunroof, wait at the other side of a carpark for said teen, then wait til lots of folk around, stand up with head out of sunroof and shout... "darling I'm here!! Over here!!" waving like a loon.

Or do other random stupid things that you would never do if alone. Like wave, toot horn at young men when DS is in the car.

Knew my DD and friend had sneaked off into town to go to a nightclub,at the time they were only 15 wearing dresses which were shorter than their fluffy boas they wore.

I went down and phoned the club to put out over the microphone her name and that her mum was waiting outside for them.

They both told me I had ruined their lives for humiliating them!

Now shes 27,a teacher she laughs about it and how could she have behaved like that! Like mother like daughter!

My favourite is to follow them around shops like New Look and Top Shop and whenever they pick anything up I say "ooh I had one of those in about 1982". They always put said item back on the rail as the thought of having anything in common with this old woman is just not going to happen.

I arranged for my then 16 year old to do work experience where I work but in a different department.

After 3 days of seeing him around the place it felt just 'normal' and I called out to 'bunny' asking what he had been doing that day amongst all the testosterone fuelled IT guys!

He was mortified and it took him about 2 weeks to forgive his silly mum for using his 'at home' term of endearment

I called it payback !

My fav is breeding into Ds1's bedroom while he is on Xbox Live shouting 'room service'! Normally means he misses a goal, enemy etc. When he got his Higher results, he was so relieved and pleased he gave me the first hug I had had without begging for ages. I was more pleased by the hug than his results.

Not breeding LOL, breezing...

I think just existing is enough for most teens.

BeenBeta - wear your jeans with the sparkly pockets, that'll really embarrass them!

This one was revenge for my 14 yr old dd embarrassing me in M&S...

While looking at summer tops for me, she pointed out a very loud vest and SHOUTED "How about this one mum - the pattern's so bright, nobody'll notice your bingo wings!" (cue: everyone turns round to view said wings).

I quickly steered her to the lingerie dept. and selected the granniest of bra's, held it up to her chest and commented loudly that really she needed a proper fitting from the bra-lady.

That was 5 years ago, but the bra-lady threat still comes in useful occasionally!