Daughter

[jellyfish888]

Daughter has tattoos on face.
I know it's her choice but can't get my head around it. Feel so disappointed and shocked as so extreme.
Haven't said to her but everytime I look at her I think she's ruined her beautiful face and it eats me up.
How to I get over this?
Also I know it wrong but I can see people judging her everyday.

Not a lot you can do other than comfort yourself looking up how to get them removed.

Not a good decision, I am sorry OP

I’d feel the same way but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Say nothing but secretly squirrel away some money for tattoo removal when the time comes.

She wouldn't remove them
In her twenties

Ahhh that's a bit shit. I'm heavily tattooed and have a few small ones behind my ear but wouldn't get any on my face, infact my tattooist has a policy of not inking faces.

What has she got? Is it subtle so could be covered with concealer if ever needed?

I'm sorry. I've had to get used to Dd's tattoos and I was devastated when I found out. But it's her choice. There's nothing you can do. Presumably she's an adult. A positive thing is that they are much more prevalent these days, and people will be much more used to dealing with people with tattooed faces in everyday life. Only idiots will think she's a bad person, rather than someone who's made an error of judgement (in their eyes). If she changes her mind it's easier to get them removed than it used to be.

I wasn't keen on them but tried to be positive and non judgmental when she had others done but I can't believe she got them done on her face.

You need to spend some time detaching your expectations of your child from your own. Her face, her choice, not your place to feel anything about it other than disagreement. If she's happy, that should make you happy, you have no ownership over what she does with her body and it shouldn't cause such an emotive response. If she feels good, pretty and is happy, that's all the matters.

In her twenties but they really stand out. She has beautiful eyes and all I see now is these instead.
They overpower her face and eyes and skin.
I'm guttted as I don't think they look good on the face.
I havent said to her just spend my time defending her behind her back to people that say things about them to me and not her.
What can I do?!!!

Yeah you are totally right and I wish I felt like that but I don't

To the previous comment about my expectations she can be happy when she is doing stupid things so it's not always good to sit back and watch her mess everything up because stupid choices make her happy.
But I will shut my mouth.

I'm surprised that in 2024 people are talking to you about them. Tats on face isn't my thing but it's not hugely unusual nowadays. Unless it's e.g. granny commenting on them.

Try to switch your thinking there - if it's not disappointed granny type thing, then these people are being hugely inappropriate commenting to you about them, and frankly should be told to piss off being snidey about your own DD to you.

Awwww I’m sorry OP.
i would feel the same.
as PP said, £20 a month into a savings account for when she inevitably wants them removed.

I’d say it is unusual in any kind of professional setting.

you can’t do anything.
I wouldn’t be happy if it was my DD
what job does she do?…..will it impact on promotion opportunities? I mean I know it shouldn’t….but in reality it usually does

My GP has stars on her face and I work in a professional setting and see them quite a lot tbh when we are onsite. Was surprised to see a client who always seemed very formal on emails with one similar to George Clooneys character in dusk til dawn going up his neck!

Not disagreeing that it's unusual, I just think it's not massively unusual to see nowadays.

It hasn't hampered my daughters promotion opportunities at all

Yeah I need to rethink this as people are very judgmental and rude making comments to me about my dd in a backhanded way.
She's still a beautiful person and like one of previous posters said her face and body.
Thinking about this there is a lot of people out there who are not nice people on the inside and outs and we don't say anything.

Very short sighted decision.
Sorry.

How much of her face is covered?

I'd feel like you OP. I'm not a fan of any tattoos but I'd be gutted if my kids covered their faces in tattoos as face tattoos look terrible.

Just hope that she'll want them removed at some point, other than that, you can't do anything. Her body, her choice and all that.

You say she's doing "stupid things", but it's not stupid if she feels happy with them. You're as judgemental as the rude people commenting. It's all just small mindedness. If she ended up depressed and her life ruined and never wanting to leave the house or hurting herself because of how people think of her and treat her because of what she does to express her true self, you'd realise how insignificant a few pictures on her face are. Let people be!

I'm heavily tattooed, though not on my face.

I also have a well paid corporate job, a husband, and own my own home.

I know my DM hates my tattoos and still, as many older generations do, negatively associates them with prison/crime/the "dregs of society" as she calls them.

I just smile and carry on. She's entitled to her opinion, and I'm entitled to mine, as the owner of my body.

You sound like a good mum @jellyfish888. I have a couple of small tattoos (inner wrist and ankle) and my mother hugely overreacted to them but has come round now. I think a face tattoo is a different thing entirely as it can't be covered, and it sounds as if you're worried about how others will judge her. They will judge, probably, but as pp have said, it's becoming more common to have these visible tattoos. As long as you don't tell her you hate them, that's about all you can do.

Well she'll probably get the message that her mum doesn't like them, or is disappointed that she had them done. The important thing is that she doesn't think her mum doesn't like her. I've no doubt the OP will continue to demonstrate that she loves her, despite this choice.