How to tell your parents you have a tattoo (when you're 42 and a half)

[youvedonewhat]

At the beginning of January I got my first tattoo. I had been thinking about it for a long time. My parents don't like tattoos but they haven't come up in conversation for years and, as I'm in my 40s, they probably think there's no longer any danger their DD will do anything as silly as that. More problematically, my mum suffers from crippling health anxiety and believes that all tattoo studios are riddled with covid, TB and HIV.

I want to break it to them gently. How did you tell your disapproving parents about your tattoo? And how do you wish you'd told them?!

(Google isn't much help with inspiration - the internet tells me to beg forgiveness and expect to be grounded and have my pocket money taken away.)

Just wondering if you told your parents & what was their reaction?

I told them last week. My dad was disappointed in me and took his anger out on my mum while I wasn't there. Apparently he said he wanted nothing more to do with either of us. Now they're both acting like nothing's happened. Neither of them has asked where it is, what it's of or why I got it. And no mention of HIV either. It's very odd.

(As an aside, it's brought back strong memories of when my dad was disappointed in me for taking antidepressants - no concern for me upon hearing I had depression, just disappointment that I would stoop so low as to take medication. I hadn't thought about that for a long time.)

Just turn up at your 80+ year old fuddy duddy parents house with your neck tattooed like I did aged 40. They loved it and I'm 42 now 🥰

Sorry it brought back some difficult memories. On a positive they now know & you don’t have to worry about it & if u wish u can get more x

Oh shit I'm so sorry for my insensitive post. How dare your he do that. I understand as my own Dad has been the same way and speaks to my mum really fucking awful. I dread to think what goes on when I'm not around. They love my tattoo though? And it was never a problem despite them always saying how much they hated tattoos.

I really want a thigh & foot tattoo, big thing stopping me is my dad, he hates tattoos & piercings. I know it’s my body etc but still his feelings matter to me. I’ve two tattoos, hip & lower stomach that he knows nothing about. He never notices or says nothing about my ear piercings & ive 4/5 in each ear soon to be more. I’m 44 married with kids.

The truth is during the 80’s tattoos were a risk because of aids, bit things are now regulated and clean. That worry was in all the papers etc at the time. Not so much the changes that were made.

I have a secret tattoo, yet my sister has two on her arms, she’s much younger than me and I assume our mother is seen them, yet has never mentioned them.

who knows?

Tbh I think it’s bad that he was saying this but it’s even worse that your mum passed you his comments. She should keep it between them.
the story about antidepressants is very telling. Your dad is obviously not caring and supportive type. I hope you have nicer people around you who appreciate you with whatever tattoos you have.

I'm an elderly fuddy-duddy, and I very much dislike tattoos and piercings. However, if any of my children (in their 50's) or grandchildren got a tattoo, it wouldn't "bother" me. Their bodies, their choices.

My DM never got to know about my tattoo, and that was precisely how I intended it! Mine’s easier to keep hidden as it’s on my shoulder. My mum would most likely have been upset and didn’t need to know anyway. (I’d either never have heard the end of it or she’d never have mentioned it again - hard to tell!)

Sorry your dad’s reaction was so evocative, OP.