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Surrogacy

Surrogacy with donor egg

59 replies

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 16:32

We are fortunate to be in contact with a wonderful surrogate lady.
DH sperm is functioning fine but unfortunately with tried attempts and health condition, it has been many failed attempts of egg retrieval from myself.

I just wondered though it’s likely less common, if anyone knows or has any success stories of surrogacy with an egg donor? If this is heard of?

I can see there being egg donors perhaps for gay couples. Or for women that use an egg donor and become pregnant themselves via ivf. But we are a heterosexual couple with a surrogate open to helping us on our journey.

Can we please keep this a kind thread for an already sensitive area of our lives I’d like to say that if there is nothing nice to say please can I kindly ask that you do not hit the reply button. There is a real person at the other end of this message. Thank you for any help 🌸

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PotteringAlong · 17/09/2021 16:50

Well, even if it were your egg it would still be surrogacy with an egg donor, because the egg would not be the egg of the person carrying the pregnancy. So, in that sense, I imagine success rates are the same as for any ivf pregnancy involving donor eggs.

Unless you are using the eggs of the surrogate, surrogacy will always be a donor egg pregnancy.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 16:54

@PotteringAlong Thanks for your reply. I understand that if it was my egg it would still be a donor, but I’m looking for any stories where the couples egg and sperm are not used and instead a donor egg which does not ‘come from’ the couple directly.

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SweetBabyCheeses99 · 17/09/2021 17:00

I have a friend who did this. I think you have three basic options. 1. Use your surrogates eggs and she gets pregnant by IUI (there’s also the turkey baster method but could be a bit intimate?!) 2. Same as above but IVF. 3 IVF but using a donor egg from a third party with your husbands sperm. I don’t think there are any particular requirements to receive donor eggs eg. being gay. I think you just pay for them. The other option of donor egg and donor sperm is not allowed in the UK.
Would your surrogate be open to using her eggs? If so then IUI is a lot cheaper and less intrusive than IVF.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:08

@SweetBabyCheeses99 Thank you so much for your reply. Really appreciated to have a well meaning reply. We can definitely use own sperm as we have done the tests and count is fine. My count is actually fine and healthy too so it is frustrating that collection has had so many unsuccessful set backs.
We haven’t put the question to our surrogate but we are hesitant of the idea due to U.K. law still being quite grey. I think if we were in the USA or another country with more rights we would feel more confident. Even though our surrogate is wonderful, it’s just a natural reaction to want to go into it as fairly and protected as possible. By the time any UK laws.
Can I ask where the IUI process takes place, is it at the fertility hospital? Sorry we are just beginning our journey, and if this is too much of a personal question you don’t have to answer - but did your friend have success with her journey? Thank you very much again it’s so appreciated x

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Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:09

By the time the U.K. reforms any laws it may be a considerable amount of time*

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RandomMess · 17/09/2021 17:10

Friends have donor egg, one of their sperm and a first time surrogate.

Fertility treatment cost £10k.

Baby not due until next year. Interestingly the baby does inherit some DNA from the surrogate but obviously very little compared to the Taft of the biological parents.

PotteringAlong · 17/09/2021 17:11

@Samuraisammy I know you were looking for stories about couples using donor eggs, but you mentioned success rates so I just meant that the success rates should be fairly easy to find because, for this, the success rates will be the same regardless of where the egg comes from.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:15

@RandomMess Thank you very much for your reply. That’s incredible and reassuring.

Does the donor egg ‘belong’ to the surrogate?

How has your friend managed emotionally throughout it? My husband has raised concerns that I might have a negative reaction but I honestly just have love for the journey of it. I said if it was you, with donor sperm how would you feel. And he said fine. So I tried to make him understand that I’m 100% on board with it but it’s difficult to reassure without any real life experience to back it up so it would be lovely to hear how your friend has got on with the notion of it not being her egg (if you don’t mind me asking) x

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Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:16

@PotteringAlong Oh I see, thank you very much. That’s really helpful thank you x

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RandomMess · 17/09/2021 17:23

Yes the surrogate is the Mum and sole one with parental responsibility until the legalities are sorted post birth.

The surrogate has blown a bit hot and cold and that has been stressful.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:32

@RandomMess Thank you for replying. That’s disheartening for them to hear, I hope it all becomes less challenging for them. I really hope the U.K updates their laws sooner rather than later, I did head of some updates from 2022 but what these entails I don’t know.

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RandomMess · 17/09/2021 17:36

You have to remember the biggest risk with surrogacy is that the parents change their mind and the surrogate is left holding the baby not the other way around!

As one of the parents is the biological parent legally they can get parental responsibility.

Pemmican · 17/09/2021 17:40

Interestingly the baby does inherit some DNA from the surrogate

This is not so surprising when you consider that a baby is literally made from its mother's body. The surrogate is not an inert container.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:44

@Pemmican unless you are here to reply to my first thread query then your comment is not welcome on this thread. Please don’t pick apart replies on this thread for your own moral gains.
Also read the bottom of my first post.

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FeeFiiFoe · 17/09/2021 17:48

[quote Samuraisammy]@Pemmican unless you are here to reply to my first thread query then your comment is not welcome on this thread. Please don’t pick apart replies on this thread for your own moral gains.
Also read the bottom of my first post.[/quote]

Shock

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:50

@FeeFiiFoe Same to you

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Soontobe60 · 17/09/2021 17:51

[quote Samuraisammy]@Pemmican unless you are here to reply to my first thread query then your comment is not welcome on this thread. Please don’t pick apart replies on this thread for your own moral gains.
Also read the bottom of my first post.[/quote]
You’re in a public forum asking about a very controversial topic. Unfortunately, you cannot control who replies, nor the content of their replies.

PotteringAlong · 17/09/2021 17:52

She’s not picking it apart for her own moral gains? It’s an observation and a true one. Your surrogate isn’t an inert container. If you were carrying the pregnancy but using donor eggs, the baby would gain some of your DNA.

It’s an interesting observation about genetic ethics, not a personal attack on your choice for a surrogate pregnancy .

Mamamamasaurus · 17/09/2021 17:52

No advice, just all the luck in the world Flowers

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 17/09/2021 17:52

Shock with that comment it ain’t gonna go well here!

Mamamamasaurus · 17/09/2021 17:53

No advice, just all the luck in the world Flowers

FeeFiiFoe · 17/09/2021 17:53

Ok, I'll take my wealth of knowledge and leave your thread. Confused

CP26 · 17/09/2021 17:54

@Samuraisammy this is definitely legal and doable. There only needs to be a genetic link to one parent with surrogacy. Look up Kreena Dhiman and Sophie Bereisner on Instagram. Both were left totally infertile due to cancer and used both donor eggs and surrogates.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/09/2021 17:58

Blimey. No one has been mean and you don’t get to dictate the replies you receive on a forum, least of all when it comes to such a topic.

If you need specialist advice go to a specialist place. This is a chat forum and anyone can take part.

As you’re well aware, surrogacy is highly controversial and that’s because it often views the surrogate mother as a vessel/oven/carrier when she’ll be the mother of the child she’s carrying until she decides to sign the baby over to anyone else. You can’t do something like that then get aggressive and snippy when people bring it up.

Samuraisammy · 17/09/2021 17:59

@CP26 That’s great to hear, thank you for your reply, it means a lot 🌸

@Mamamamasaurus Thank you lovely, your kindness is extremely appreciated and sent back your way ☘️

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