Surrogacy with donor egg

[Samuraisammy]

We are fortunate to be in contact with a wonderful surrogate lady.
DH sperm is functioning fine but unfortunately with tried attempts and health condition, it has been many failed attempts of egg retrieval from myself.

I just wondered though it’s likely less common, if anyone knows or has any success stories of surrogacy with an egg donor? If this is heard of?

I can see there being egg donors perhaps for gay couples. Or for women that use an egg donor and become pregnant themselves via ivf. But we are a heterosexual couple with a surrogate open to helping us on our journey.

Can we please keep this a kind thread for an already sensitive area of our lives I’d like to say that if there is nothing nice to say please can I kindly ask that you do not hit the reply button. There is a real person at the other end of this message. Thank you for any help 🌸

I guess it’s only other posters that have to “be kind” to you, not the other way round.

I know, I know, my comment is not welcome here either, but unfortunately you don’t get to choose who comments.

@Samuraisammy oh and Sophie Beresiner wrote a book about her experience called ‘the mother project’ which may be worth a read. She also had a weekly column in the Times about her experience.

@CP26 Fantastic, sending thanks 🌸 really appreciate you reply :)

My friend used a doner egg which was then fertilised and implanted into a surrogate which resulted in a baby being born only last month! I'm afraid I couldn't give you any specifics about the process or success rates or anything like that, I just wanted to say yes, it can be successful.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid Thank you so much, that’s wonderful to hear. Thank you for sharing your friends story. Wishing you a lovely weekend ☘️

Yes, OP. DH and I are very close to a couple who had a successful surrogate pregnancy using the egg of a donor. So surrogate, egg from separate donor and sperm from partner.

These are the facts. They went through an agency in Minnesota who put them in touch with a fertility clinic in Connecticut. It was the agency who found the surrogate and the clinic who found the donor. Finding the surrogate was a matter of simply waiting. Finding the donor was way harder, because they wanted someone who was a close match to the intended mother.

They were given a four in ten chance of a 'first time' successful pregnancy and were indeed successful.

I can't dispute some of the more moderate reservations expressed by some of the anti-surrogacy brigade. But I can say that this child, who is now well into mid-childhood, is a wonderfully happy child with a close, very loving relationship with the legal mother, and there is no evidence that the child suffered any trauma whatsoever in being separated at the point of birth from the birth mother and being put straight into the loving arms of the woman who is now the legal mother. Anyone who insists on saying that it can only be otherwise is only interested in being right, not in getting it right.

Interestingly the baby does inherit some DNA from the surrogate

Mitochondrial DNA has been found present up to 10 years after birth but in minuscule amounts I believe, more importantly it is the mother who switches on/off various genetics during pregnancy and the effects of stress and anxiety could also impact the foetus.

We did home insemination. Syringed by the surrogate

Anyone who insists on saying that it can only be otherwise is only interested in being right, not in getting it right.

Surely the same applies in reverse?

@TrojaninTroy Thank you so much for your positive reply, that’s amazing to hear

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@QOD Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’m glad you have had success on your journey

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Evening, everyone.

Just popping by to ask everyone to bear in mind that this is a support thread. We understand that surrogacy is a topic that is quite emotive and divisive, and we're happy to host discussions on the pros and cons of it, but the place for that is on another thread, not on a thread started by someone looking for support.

Thanks.

Understandable @HebeMumsnet however many people on MN consider surrogacy harmful to women and very unethical. Are they allowed to express this?

I feel for the OP. It's incredibly hard and distressing. However the lack of women's rights in surrogacy is also distressing.

@HebeMumsnet

Thank you for your supportive message. It is very much appreciated.

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Hi MrsTerryPratchett,

Yes, absolutely, we're happy for people to discuss their differing views on the subject, we'd just like folk to start new threads for this within the topic - or elsewhere if they prefer. We think it's a bit harsh on a thread someone has started for support is all. Hope that makes sense?

Thanks for clarifying @HebeMumsnet

I don't agree but I respect that.

Close - I don’t see why my post should be deleted. It’s important to use clear language and for people to analyse all aspects of their decisions especially those that are less comfortable (or ‘nice’). Hiding away from the more difficult facts risks them arising later . My post includes no judgement, nothing unkind, just some questions for the OP to consider and a clarification of the terms.

@AnneLovesGilbert you forgot the recently used “delivery agent”