On hunger strike .. protesting

[EastMidsGPs]

We the EastMids GP are on hunger strike. We have been for 3 days now. Well not really on hunger strike obs .. we ARE guinea pigs after alll!
No, we are trying to make The Human think we are about to waste away and IT IS ALL HER FAULT.
She's only gone and bought us value carrots from the local supermarket ... we mean .. what is she thinking. Apparently she's not managed to get our usual carrots from the farm shop because she claims she has been ill .. yeah right .. seems like neglegence to us. And we think SS should be involved.

This isn't the first time her standards have slipped ... she's tried to pass off own brand GP nuggets in the past .. a poor substitute for the ones with the mint to aid our digestion ... and don't get us started on the ones with blackcurrent, we sniffed for days at them until she saw sense.
So although we've had little nibbles at the carrots where we think she cannot see .. we are offically on hunger strike and would ask the GPs and rabbits here to support us.

I bet the reason they don't eat seeds is "they get stuck between my teeth" so you try to help them by making them a bit chewed and softer to slip down the gullet but meh they are soo unreasonable.

The boar in the 70 hogs trio shares the love by giving DD a rash at cuddle time.
Like a temporary love bite from teddy fur.

S'ok. I bit my human really hard when she tried to put me in my comfy bed, full of hay and such. Meh. What does she know? Hope you piggies are all warm and cosy. I have a heat pad. I wee on it t I show my disdain.

GP5 here (got my number wrong further up, might LTB)
I like to debunk the myth about GP being soppy , docile little things.
The Primary Carer has kept piggies for years (when she was a kid) then converted her own offspring from hamster wistfullness to piggy love.

So, they think they know, but Heh I rip up the book and spit inside the dustjacket.

Myself and GP4 were ex breeding stock. We palmed off our unwanted ankle biters were weaned from our litters and rehomed.
Arranged marriage no less to the lardy boar that they had to match. We made soothing awww noises as he whinged about his castration with sage "It's for the best " (we are not going through all that piglet rearing sh*t again , Matey)

I am Beautiful.
I have ruby eyes. I have a crest. I look like a Unicorn.
I don't like sun. Or light.

We maried well and inherited the lot. Then "they" decided we needed a new husband. He's ok. He's noisy. Gets the food orders in, doesn't cause any trouble. Good insulation too.

I don't ever want to be some childs' pet. So I keep them (Her and her Offspring) in check by gently applying my teeth, not to break the skin, just enough to say "Oops, well I am short sighted " simper.

You know what else they did? They showed me some grainy black and white picture on Monday. So I feigned being interested and gave a few chirps of admiration.

Then they put me on Facebook!

Lots of comments about brothers or sisters but I'm an only child. I think they're up to something.

Oh jings Crafty you know what the black&white piccy is dont'cha?

She's eaten something ( some sort of alien ), it'll grow, she'll get all narky and waddley.
things will appear , like perches but with little soft seats that you can't sit on , and bottles that you can amuse them with by playing skittles (it'll be cute once or twice but then they;ll get hissy).

Then she'll mysteriously wander off and lose a couple of stone really quickly. But there will be a schreechy thing. Louder than you.
And you can't hang a cover over it to shut it up either!

Congratualtions

Screechier than me? She's never getting a parrot is she? Well if she thinks I'm sharing my cage apartment she's got another think coming.

Unlikely to be a parrot, "She" has a couple of those grainy pictures, I think they're lizards or tadpoles or something?
Not attractive

I'd gather up all their socks and shred them, just to punish them.

The Ferniepigs will join the hunger strike unless it actually means not eating - we're not that daft. The slave in our house is so thick we had to follow her to the fridge wheeking four times this afternoon before she realised she had to get the cucumber out for us. We were starving - it was at least 10 minutes since we'd had celery.

Current Bun will also join in - that woman bought posh hay with fancy herbs last week not the cheap Tesco hay! Does she seriously expect me to eat that fancy muck? I'm a down to earth French lop, I need normal hay.

Success! Normal service has resumed .. we have farm shop carrots .. and kale. Suppose the dozy mare will withdraw the watermelon now. Still no sign of any grapes.
we like the sound of the black leaved cabbage stuff so are planning a whinge to guilt her into getting us some.
Tomorrow she human is working from home so we get to play (get under) around her feet in her shed come office. Always fun as we nibble what we shouldn't and S gets called her full name ...... Sadie No!!

We actually have a better social life than the humans. WE got an invite, proper coloured picturande through the letterbox invite to the child next door's birthday party. Human decided no as Sadie couldn't be trusted not to wriggle or nip.

Last year old Sophie and me (M) inadvertently got ourselves invited as ndn were looking after us for the day and our humans hadn't realised there was a party ... we became the petting zoo and behaved beautifully. The party was talked about for days. And now S the young pup has spoiled it for us both. Knew we shouldnt have kept her.

Aww , you should dump Sadie..No and go to the party on your own. Get spoiled and petted -and fed loads of treats. Get the Party Goers out there cutting dandelions for you.
Even better if Sadie,,No is in earshot, might make her behave herself for future invitations?

Myself (GP5, the Himmy) would never grace a childs' party, they'd leave sticky jammy finger marks on my bea-oooo-tiful fur and misinterpret my gnawing (oh she's being nibbly) for " Wahhhhhh it BIT ME "
Believe me, if I wanted to bite, there's no mistaking it.

The Old One is going to visit her Even Older Ones (the grandparents) so we're all being cared for by the DD ( PigMum of GP4 and GP6) and DH (tries hard but sadly lacking . He'll buy veg 'n' things but doesn't really know pigs)

Considers sneaking into her luggage .......................

M & S

M&S you are proper beauties. Coming from me - the gorgeous bunny that I am. I held another dirty protest yesterday (obviously nowhere near my lovely Snow White fur), as the human won't let me out in the wind and the rain. Why... WHY??? shakes paw at turbulent sky she only gave me half rations and some coriander last night (ok, it's my favourite, along with carrot chunks, but still, it does not make up for me being held captive indoors)... Why she let me go outside to drown/become a fast food service for the local foxes I shall never know... Yours in sympathy.

*did not even. It's hard to type when Ioh have paws

• you. Oh gosh, I am clearly the Marilyn of the rabbit world.

Shameless making!

Here I am. Snuggled in a duvet watching watching various documentaries that every well bred bunny should watch...

Ps the documentaries were Watership Down

Oh Bella you are truely a beauty we're a bit worried now that Human will replace us.
We've not been outside for aģes she claims it is too cold and wet what with M's chest and all that.
But but ... we chirp .. the grass looks sooooooo lush and in need of a GP trim ..
instead she cuts the grass for us and makes up for it by giving many treats.

Although there appears to be some sort of bargin shop treat in the offing .... how dare she!! Suppose we will have a sniff and nibble before disgarding it ... she'll never learn

Awww M&S are gorgeous
love their little poppy eyes (guinea-pigs have amazing eyes )

They must've paused for a nanosecond before piling into the grass (good job the camera shutter speed is quick)

"Watership Down" is a Bunny Horror Film . (The Chief Food slave saw it as a kid and was scarred . Even a trip to the Wimpy for a Knickerbocker Glory didn't take the edge off. She was about 9 or 10 . Like she was ever 9 or 10 )

Guineas cannot ever be replaced by bunnies. Guineas are known to be the superior race (That FernieB tries to convince food slave otherwise but she's biased/mad)

Thank you for ackonwledging my beautifulness. The human has softened and given me more food and also bottled (BOTTLED) water alongside some broccoli. I think she feels bad for making me watch that film... I can totally tell because a) she hasn't fed me to the foxes and b) she keeps humming Bright Eyes whilst looking all misty eyed. Pah.

Pa bunnies can be quite cool. Scientific experiments suggest we are cleverer than cats, and also dogs. Wish I could use my paws to find the link to such things. Clearly, I am a living, breathing stereotype, as I am a dumb blonde (and I am not just talking about my owner - she is not a real blonde and I am outing her, ha! That'll teach her for not having been to the hairdresser in over a year...). Anyway, where was I...? Ah yes broccolli.... While we are at it, here's a question. Can bunnies and piggies ever be friends? I quite fancy a companion...

We are not supposed to live with bunnies 😕there is a danger of squashiness damage to piggies etc and i was once told that bunnies 'worry' piggies and stupidly thought they ran up to us shouting spitroast or something .. it was only later that the human who used the word 'worry' was politely saying 'constant humping' 😞

Whilst we are dealing with the erm delicate we need to point out that our photo caption should read S & M as that is us from left to right ... but human thought that might be misconstrued .... so she has us advertising a department store .... dumb or what 😊

We do have bunny friends Florence and Norm. They live with the human's bf. Norm is real eye candy ... thick black glossy coat .. the real deal. He used to be a stud bunny until he had a problem with one of his legs .. had the snip and went to live with Florence. Flo had quite a life before ... she lived with traveller children and still has a feral streak in her. HER human can often be heard into the wee small bours shouting OK stay out then ..let the foxes get you .. and then you'll be sorry ... Florence just 😀😁😀 gleefully

Oh gosh. I have been known to shout that at bella bunny. 😢 I am
Not a traveller, although i am Irish. And I have a horse (possibly bought by your Man off the back of a trailer...