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Addiction support

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Original poster

I'm an Alcoholic and my parent's won't support me.

80 replies

PineappleTron · 11/05/2023 14:03

Hi. I have a really horrible Pickle of a situation. I am a chronic Alcoholic. I am 33 years old, and I live alone. Since the age of 19 my drinking has caused chaos, and my tolerance has gone up and up and up. Nowadays I drink 4 bottles of white Wine on the days I binge. It isn't every day, I am lucky that I don't get dangerous withdrawals, and I can quite easily go without a drink. However when I aim to have one or two, before I know it days have passed and I've been completely hammered. I have had to admit to myself that I can never drink at all, as moderation just isn't possible with me. It's a scary process, but I have been going to AA and met people just like myself, who didn't judge me at all. I went 2 months sober, which was amazing! However, I kind of knew it wouldn't last, because although I live alone I see my parents regularly. They always drink at the weekends when I go round, and simply refuse not to. Slating me for being selfish by asking them to be sober around me. As I just can not bear to be around drunk people and alcohol when I'm sober, it's far too triggering. So I gave up giving up, knowing that I can never cut my parents our of my life, I do love them. So it's just easier to join them and have them in my life and keep drinking. But I know that this isn't how it should be.
I have developed Peripheral Neuropathy from drinking and my mental health is in tatters from waking up hating myself for crazy actions while drunk, then needing to drink again to cope with those memories. We have a Holiday to Greece booked together, and I know it will involve drinking. I'm sick of living this way, and I really don't want to ever drink again. But they are so nasty about it saying "why should we be miserable and bored around you just because you have a drink problem?" Also if I say I'm not going to Greece, they would make me feel bad and cancel the whole thing and not go themselves. Of course, they could just cancel my booking and still go, but they won't, and I'd never hear the end of it. I love that place, and I have been excited to go back all year, but it's just going to mean I can never get sober. I love my parents, and I don't want them out of my life. But they just won't support me in getting healthy. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

lilmishap · 12/05/2023 17:58

The thread title is your answer.
You're an alcoholic and your parents are not supporting your recovery. This is where you are.
You are recovering alone, they are not battling addiction. Keep them out of your recovery.

Reasonableadjustments · 12/05/2023 18:14

Lillyrosemay · 12/05/2023 17:47

Can I be very direct, you are making excuses and blaming your parents as a way to continue drinking. You’re making it not your fault . There are plenty of ways to see your parents that don’t involve alchohol , you can go for lunch in a cafe. Go for a walk. During the week when your father doesn’t drink . It doesn’t need to be a weekend evening when you know they do. You need to decide what’s more important, going to Greece or sobriety, no one will force you on the plane.

getting sober will involve sacrifices, it will involve making significant changes to your life style. Making different choices.

if you chose not to make better and different choices, not to make those sacrifices. Then this is your choice and only yours, not your parents.

This, I'm afraid.

candlewicket · 12/05/2023 18:36

Minimalme · 11/05/2023 14:24

You need therapy. Ongoing and lots of it.

You have a codependent relationship with your parents. They want you to keep drinking so they can keep drinking. You cannot help each other.

You need to cancel the holiday and tell your parents you need a year's break from them to get sober.

Whether you resume the relationship is up to you, but I wouldn't advise it.

This 100%

Jeannie88 · 12/05/2023 18:55

Maybe best to see them during the times they don't drink, avoid evenings for now. You can still see them but just not at drink times as it sounds they won't cut it out. Xx