Ridiculous Addiction

[ghostsandfairy]

I have a ridiculous addiction - having psychic readings. I've had email readings, text readings and phone readings.

I gave up for a few months a couple of years ago and I am determined to stop altogether. My phone bill is ridiculous and I am broke this month because of it.

I've gone 6 days without a reading. I feel better but flat. The readings gave me hope and things to look forward to. I realise I have been mostly conned but a couple of psychics were quite good.

I'm not sure I could just have one reading now and again for a treat without getting addicted.

I would think like all addictions it’s an all or nothing thing. So you need to stop. Forever.

Perhaps every time you want a reading write down how much time and money would have been spent. At the end of the month look at those numbers and then plan a treat? Lunch out with a friend, a new book.

Have you considered joining a church for that sense of hope and community? Is it possible you’re lonely?

I was like this with online scratch cards. Then I totted up how much I’d lost over time, and DP pointed out that if I had put the money away every time I got THE URGE, I’d have a big ol’ pot of 💰which is exactly why I was doing the scratch cards to begin with!!!

Can you convince yourself that they are all just con artists and you are being robbed, even if you don’t really think that?

Personally I do think that is what has happened to you. You have been tricked into handing over money to thieves. If you get on board with looking at it through that lens, it might help?

Not trying to offend you or anyone who has different beliefs

I had a bad break up in my twenties and developed an addiction to psychic readings. Spent hundreds. They were comforting in the moment but I knew they were mostly bullshit. It passed. Hopefully yours will too.

Could you find other positive ways to diss tact yourself in real life? An in person course or workshop?

The readings have been mostly comforting bullshit and I realise that. I read somewhere that if you can give up your addiction for 10 days it starts getting easier.

@Angliski - did the "psychics" say your ex was coming back? I've heard that one a lot even when an ex left me for someone else.

I don't think it's ridiculous. These people make their money mostly off the few individuals they can lure into an addiction, much like the "whales" (i.e. the very small number of users that buy a lot of in-game currency in games like Candy Crush, and who account for most of the revenue) that free-to-play mobile game makers try to attract. You just happen to be in the unlucky percentage of users of "psychic" services who for whatever reason happened to get drawn in by the approaches they use. It's not your fault — there's a massive and sophisticated industry dedicated to putting you in this position.

Could you try and work out what you're getting from it and what it is that you're looking forward to? e.g. comfort, and in what way; a sense of predictability/control over uncontrollable situations; someone to listen and pay attention to you; just a friendly voice; exactly why and how it gives you hope? Then if it's some basic human requirement, like the need for a sense of control or the need for meaningful social connections, try and find other ways to fulfill that?

Alternatively, if you can afford it, you could maybe think about finding a therapist who's comfortable helping people with this kind of thing. It could be that the need that these psychic readings fill for you is one that you have to a greater extent than is helpful for you, for example, if you really struggle to tolerate any uncertainty at all. I suppose it might seem like swapping one kind of expensive conversation for another, but therapists that are signed up to reputable regulators have an ethics code that stops them deliberately making people emotionally dependent on their services in the way that psychics do Or possibly there might be NHS/IAPT or charitable services in your area that can help.

They can do so much damage. A friend was told her ex would come back, they never did and she has spent her whole life waiting for him, convinced it must be true. Missed out on the chance to have kids with someone else etc. Definitely not just a bit of fun. Keep going op, post on here when the urge gets strong and someone will talk you out of it!

@ClumpingBambooIsALie - I have had some counselling to deal with a tough situation which was one of my triggers for ringing psychics.

Also, I've been let down with dating and heartbroken and the "psychics" have given me some hope I will find love. I loved the escapism that the readings gave me.

There used to be some online support sites for psychic addictions but I can only find an American one at the moment.

Thanks for you replies - you are all brilliant.

I don't think its ridiculous at all. Addiction is addiction. Perhaps a general addiction group near you would help? You've been using it to fill a void and deal with trauma, and its just got out of hand. Can you find a distraction, something to refocus on? its escapism you are looking for, could a book club help. What about joining a marital arts class, you'll meet new people, get exercise which is good for the brain and give you something to completely focus on a couple of times a week?

I've been trying to focus on work and exercise and when the weather gets better I hope to get out and socialise a bit more. I've been distracting myself in the evenings with watching films or reading or even doing housework.

It's got to the point where if I continue with readings I am going to use up all my savings!

I think the first thing to realise is that it wasn't 'mostly' comforting bullshit. It was ALL bullshit.

Just treat it like any other addiction. Maybe the GP can support?

Could you join gambling addiction groups? That seems most similar?

First thing it to psychically stop them so can you but limits on the extra amount you can spend on your phone contract. I only have a limit of £10 for additional charges on mine? If you’ve registered accounts and cards with companies remove all details. Delete logins etc. it’s a bit like a gambling addiction, you need to remove everything that facilitates it. Block the numbers you call etc

@ghostsandfairy yes they did. And it kept me deluded for a long time. It really wasn't healthy. I found lifting my head up from the screen/phone and pushing myself out into the world - learning improv, comedy, social dancing - great way to meet partners btw, languages, things that got me into connection, worked really well.

@Adatwistscientist fair point. But even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, so there was sometimes something sensible or practical that they suggested, probably to keep you going with a small dose of reality.

@Angliski - I experienced this a few years ago. I was heartbroken and looking forward to a reading after work kept me going. A simple text to my ex to clarify whether he just wanted some time to be ready to commit or if he just didn't want to see me again would have been the sensible thing to do and would have saved me lots of money.

Well I have spent the evening feeling anxious but I haven't had a reading for reassurance and to pick me up. I'm going to bed soon so that will be a week without a reading.

Nice! Kudos on resisting.

That’s really good!

Well done.

I haven't had a very good day and my knee jerk reaction was to reach for my phone and see who was on a psychic phone site. I didn't have a reading though.

I think it is going to take a long time to get my brain to stop thinking "I need/deserve a reading" when I have bad days.

Thank you for your encouragement. I hope I am not boring you with my updates. If only there was a psychic addiction website.

Hope all's been okay since your last post.

Hi. Thanks for asking. I'm not having a great day mental health wise but haven't had a reading. I noticed Paul from S Club 7 is doing readings on one of the sites. Seems everyone is a psychic these days

Well done for not having a reading. Just looked up Paul from S Club 7 he's been broke for quite a while it seems, now looking to take advantage of vulnerable people I guess. He has a channel where he does Tarot 'for entertainment purposes'. I'm guessing they all say that in the very small print to avoid the possibility of getting sued.
Stay off it OP it might feel like it's helping you but it's actually doing the opposite. It's good that you've recognised how addictive it is, I agree it's all or nothing and if you started again it would be a slippery slope. It's not a ridiculous addiction though, it is designed to give you hope and make you feel better - those feelings are addictive.

@Tal45 - Thanks. Yes, I heard Paul from S Club was broke. There is a reader on that site who is very good but as you said one reading may lead to lots more.

I made it to 10 days without a reading! I read somewhere it gets easier to stop addictive behaviour after 10 days.

Think of it as a gambling / spending money addiction

Which it is

@ghostsandfairy

I made it to 10 days without a reading! I read somewhere it gets easier to stop addictive behaviour after 10 days.

Nice one! Let's hope you've broken the back of it.