Been with DH for 20 years. 2 DC aged 15 & 12.
He's always been a bit of a difficult character & has quite a few issues. Can be rather controlling but in total denial about this.
I'm not sure when he started to take coke but I found out by accident almost a year ago. I had thought prior to this that he might have been bi-polar due to his mood swings & paranoia.
Anyway, for several years his behaviour has been terrible - accusing me of having secret bank accounts, putting tracking devices on his phone/car, having a secret phone & having affairs behind his back. All of which were untrue.
Since, I confronted him last year (I found his stash) he has 'moderated' his behaviour but it still isn't 'normal'. He is very evasive about his whereabouts & gets cross if he feels he is being questioned & he is paranoid about security settings on his phone & has recently changed the code on his phone & disabled any app which can track him. He still sleeps all the time (sleeps in a separate room although comes into our room in the early hours - says I disturb his sleep pattern), goes to bed at 8pm to 'unwind', has problems with bloodshot red eyes & runny nose. He said it was my fault that he turned to drugs.
He takes roughly £500 out of his account every 3/4 days- some of which I assume goes on drugs.
He admitted to the bare minimum (i have found out about other stuff independently) & denies he takes drugs anymore. I don't believe him but don't know how to help or resolve the situation. It's like a big white elephant in the room.
I don't know what I am asking really. I know things aren't but how can it be sorted when he won't talk about it.
Grateful to hear from anyone who has been through this.