hate how I look

[without]

I hate how I look and feel.

I'm 44, been a single mum for 10 years, and not have a proper BF for over 4!

My kids are 18 & almost 16 so almost grown and flown.

I have very little in the way of a social life, very little spare income but work silly hours.

I wear nice clothes etc but it makes no difference, make-up doesn't suit me, and my hair always looks like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards... I look a bit like Stevie Nicks, or Stevie Nicks does corporate but without the eyeliner ;o)

Anyone got any idea on how I can feel better about myself; sort of on-line Trinny & Susanna or Jok Wan.

Is cash an issue? New haircut/colour - always a good start.

Never done it myself but personal shopper? New make-up?

That all sounds trite - sorry. Am being hassled to get off pc.

my dh ADORES stevie nicks

Oh no

Right stop moaning... get on to fashionfacetv.net the girls on there do some amazing make up tutorials, you dont need the expensivemake up, just get cheap but in similar shades. (if you want reccomends for specific prducts just ask, im a make up geek)

Then get on a dating website: I reccommend mysinglefriend. I dont say this because you need a man but because you can just treat it as making friends. Plus it'll get you some free/cheap nights out.

Also, look up old friends and shamelessly ask to tag along on nights out.. if they say no or think youre odd it doesnt matter because you dont want people like that as friends... I guarantee most will go along with it. Youll probably find some are in the same boat.

Good luck!!!!

Stevie Nicks is a babe!

cant your d sort you out? or have you boys?

stevie nicks is hot..!

oh and 'barry m' make up is good for an affordable new look or two

OK make up looking wrong is because you're using the wrong stuff.

Get along to the Bobbi Brown counter and get them to do your make up. And then go to boots and buy cheaper versions of eyeliner/blusher etc. I do think its worth buying a good foundation though and love chanel vitalumiere.

Look through magazines and see what styles you like - which celebs you think look good.

Give us some idea of your colouring/figure etc.

cut off the hair if yr feeling bit bedraggled and ungroomed

some highlights

tbh sounds like you have more self esteem issues going on which are not just going to go away with a makeover. Need to believe you are great and get a bit of fun and excitement in yr life. Are there any groups going on near you you fancy? What about that spice / spicer thing for single folk?

ooh vitalumiere traceybath... good call.

I love barry m glitter foureleven!

I do think a haircut and eyebrows being threaded makes the biggest difference to my appearance.

ooh me too and they do the bestest liquid eyeliner

Treat yourself to a haircut, get some help with your makeup, I use Chanel Vitalumiere and its fab, try a new lippy too- a MAC Plushglass gloss always cheers me up and GET SHOPPING....

Take a friend, always more honest than a personal shopper, and go for a day out to buy a new dress or outfit. Then take said friend for cocktails, supper and dancing...works for me!

Have a day or half a day all to yourself. Get a makeopver for free in a department store. You can also get free hair cuts almost anywhere. Ring up any major hair salon chain and ask if they need mystery shoppers, or better still, if you're near London, Toni & Guy and Vidal Sassoon do free cuts at their academies. The best cuts I ever had were form them and they grew out so well I only went every six months.

Go for a browse and try on five or six things you think are gorgeous but definitely not typically you and see if any of them suits you. Maybe aim for just a bit dressier than normal then wear it a lot on ordinary days till your used to it. If money's tight get stuff in the sale or look on ebay or in charity shops for similar things. It doesn't have to cost a fortune. Woudl your kids be interested in helping you have a make over?

Or be really bold and apply to a tv or magazine makeover show. Living etc were looking for people recently.

Meant to say, if you look like Stevie Nicks you are a babe! Make the most of it.

Like four eleven said - join a dating agency online. You don't have to like, fancy or sleep with anyone if you don't want. Just go out, meet new people, get used to being outgoing and a bit flirty so when you do meet someone you like, you have more confidence on how to handle it.

Thanks for all the messages. I'm very unsure about make-up as I've never worn it... and sadly whilst I have a Stevie Nicks look, I'm no looker...been single for a decade now and I think if I had something, someone who have chatted me up!

I have to say I think I must be the most unattrative woman in the world. My ex-husband cheated on me for most of my marriage, the next guy I dated I was engaged to but he broke it off for his job I thin, the following guy went back to his ex-wife....and since then no BF's at all and that was over 4 years ago.

I really need to just accept that I'm never going to find anyone who really loves me, and become a hermit (unmade up with lanky hair ;o).

without you don't need to just accept that! And please don't become a "hermit" with "lanky hair".... Take the advice of MNers and you'll start to feel better about everything.

It's not your looks putting them off, it's your lack of self confidence. Get a make over, go out and have fun for fun's sake, not to meet a man. When you're feeling much more confident, they'll be queuing.

without that's just not true... In fact, it's well known that cery many attractive/beautiful women aren't approached because men assume they will already have someone or the woman is out of their league.

I'm 44 too and also having a bit of a looks crisis at the moment - maybe it's our planetary aspects

Ok, give us your stats:
height
dress size
body shape
colouring
hair type

In the meantime give yourself a pedicure and paint your toenails this evening. Then you will have pretty feet, its a good start!

Not sure what my body type is - but I'm 5'4", dress size 8 (although 10 in some shops), I'm pale skinned, blue eyes, with long brown (currently dyed blonde) hair.

I'm smaller on top than on bottom - sixe 8 top, 10 bottom I guess.

So, what now?

i just want to give you a hug,then help you with some serious makeover,then sit down for a chat about confidence,i do not think u are as bad as you think you are...

Right, so you are a slim blue eyed blonde.

The start if your dating website profile....?!

Your description sounds great, and I am sure many men would be interested;but you need to feel happy in your own skin as well.

Would second the vitaluminere recommends.

If cash is tight:-

make up ideas - visit beauty counter in a department store. Most offer free makeup trials with no obligation to buy. It will give you a chance to try out new looks and see what works for you.

hair - try your local college that offer discount cuts and colours by students - worry not they are checked at every stage

A wardrobe clearout is also a must - get rid of stuff that no longer fits (it will just depress you), stuff that you haven't worn for more than a year and stuff that you don't like. As Gok says, you only need a few pieces that you can mix and match.

Most importantly you need to love yourself.