Urgent help needed please!!

[iamfabregasted]

Help!!

I have my first proper date for over 20 years tonight. We only organised it last night. We're going to eat at a dinery type place.

So, I'm thinking jeans, nice top, heels? Or is jeans too casual? Or should I wear my trusty black boots? Linen trousers and top or is that too smart?

I'm 40 and really too old for all this lol.

I'd do your denim heels, grey skinnies and armani floaty top.

Bootcuts fine if they're very narrow but at 5ft1 they can be a little unflattering - I'm only 5ft and find skinnies/straight leg better.

Have a fab time!

The irregular choice ones not really my thang.

I love shoes, the funkier the better though, but don't know whether I should tone that down a bit for a first date?

Oh I don't remember it all being this hard 20 years ago!!

I would love to risk my ripped skinnies but I'm not sure if they are too casual?

just don't go for anything that isn't your normal style or you're not comfortable in... concentrate on having a good time, not worrying about what you look like. no doubt the guy likes what you normally look like...

personally though i'd go for plain bottoms and floaty top with minimal jewellry. keep shoes plain. he'll notice your face more that way... guys don't care about shoes.

OK update as promised.

I wore the bootcut jeans, a white linen top and wee jacket, with the new shoes.

And you all get to do it again because.... I got a second date

Supurb.

Changed your mind about the floaty turquoise? Did you go more casual?

So, when is your second date? Are you going to book a personal shopper? Go on, go on, the you can tell me all about it and if it's worth it.

Were the new shoes the Irregular choice ones? i looked at the link to that site and loved the shoes, I'd never seen them before.

Glad the date went well, do you have a good feeling about him???

OK update....

Have booked personal shopper for next tuesday and made clear that I don't have buckets of money to spend, maybe a couple of hundred at the very most but want advice - girl was very very nice and said that's what she's there for if she's not doing that she's on the floor so no biggie.

Went with a white linen blouse/top and my jeans and jeans jacket and just HAD to wear the new shoes - he noticed as well

Second date is looking like Friday night

And yes I have a massively good feeling about him. He's lovely. (If 6ft 4 lol)

This is too exciting. I am marking my place and expect regular updates.

Ok, update - date is confirmed for Friday night, dinner in swanky upmarket hotel.

Fancy new dress required I think??

Swankyhotel and new dress.......definitley time for a new knock out dress.

Brideshead - think very upmarket very swanky hotel.

Somehow I don't think Gap hoodies and my jeans are going to cut it with this guy lol.

He's quite emmmmm - upmarket. WTF does he see in me lol.

His house is gorgeous and his car is just LUSH! And I really quite like him

what colours/styles do you like/suit?

budget?

Blinks - budget isn't great (single parent) probably about £250 tops.

What do I suit/like - I have no farking idea!! Spent the last 20 years in jeans and hoodies .

Going to go to the department store tomorrow and beg ask the woman if she can let me try on all kinds of everything and see what suits.

I have short legs, quite a fat arse a la JLo, and a little bit of a belly. I've also lost a ton of weight in the last year and a bit so I really am at a loss.

Most of the stuff in my wardrobe is black/beige/brown/navy and I definitely want to move away from that - although I did buy a turquoise maxi dress from per una that I quite like.

Oh dear lord.

Ok update on the update lol

Went to local department store and begged personal shopper girl to help me and she was FAB.

Tried on tons of stuff - she was truthful as well, which was great.

Now know I suit green (huh?) turquoise, blue, pink, red, lots and lots and lots of colours, don't suit black near my face, should not wear wrap tops or empire line, and will get away with just about anything else!

She was jealous of my figure, which was a massive confidence boost as well .

I bought a maxi dress (shocked - £80), heels to go with but they're brown leather so will go with everything, and some new underwear. Spent just under £200 in total.

Really pleased .

Now to hope I wow the date tomorrow lol.

glad you had such a great shopping trip and hope tomorrow goes well

That personal shopper sounds great, you do need to belive they are being honest.

Are you waering the Maxi dress tonight? I love maxi dresses but avoid them as I'm only 5ft 4" so thought i was too short, obviously not though if you can get away with it. Some of them look SO long though, where was yours from?

Good luck with the date, hope it goes fabulously!!

OK update - date was

Meal was lovely, dress etc looked nice I think, came from department store in Northern Ireland, I'll look the label.

But his ex wife phoned 6 times during the meal, he kept answering the phone and talking to her in farking norwegian so I haven't a clue what he was saying.

Ah well....

Ah, well, you looked good and that's the main thing .

Did you apologise for interuptions, role eyes, explain frequency of calls at all? Are you going to see him again or is that it?

At least you goy some new clothes!

Brideshead - he just said "that was my ex wife"

No eye rolling, or any other explanations.

My phone was in my bag, on silent, and if I'd have HAD to take a call I think I would've said "That was my ex, there's an issue with x y z" but I don't know.

He's asked me out again and has been sending very sweet texts.

Do I go or not?

Thinking maybe go, give him the benefit of the doubt?

hey i am no expert on modern dating...............but if you really like him you could try another date but check out the situation re ex. Last thing you need is to get involved with someone who still emotionally attached to his ex

until i was sure it was really over i would be careful to not get involved with this man in any way IYKWIM. have you asked him about it?

However i suspect that others with more experience will come and tell you to run a mile

I am a bit at 6 calls from ex with no explanation eg sorry for the interruptions, my ex FIL is dying etc etc. Taking 6 phone calls from ANYONE during one evening is a bit rude, whatever the circumstances

UPDATE PLEASE

sorry didn't mean to shout

OK, update on the update on the update

He has asked me out again tomorrow night

But I was really pissed off about how much the ex wife was ringing and that he was talking in a language I didn't understand, without explaining what it was about iyswim?

Anyway, I don't know that EVERY phone call was the ex wife, just a couple, I suppose the others could've been from children/norwegian friends. Still rude though, no?

UPshot is, I've decided to go on this date and see what happens.

And if he does that again he's history.

And yes I will update you all!!

I think it was rude unless there was some kind of ongoing emergency-which if there was imo he should have explained beforehand.

I loathe mobile phones and would never have one switched on during a meal with someone.

I think that´s really really rude & tbh wouldn´t bother to see himagain.