"oh so that's why you dress so old fashioned"

[Lexilicious]

Mortified. Just mortified. But then quite amused.

I have just moved into a house near work. My neighbours seem lovely. I did post a thread a couple of weeks ago under a different name having a little middle class angst about fitting in. I clearly will never fit in. But my neighbours are indeed lovely.

Standing outside on Saturday morning having seen mrs neighbour fiddling at some length with her car boot. DH goes out for some reason and chats to her. She's holding her 6 month old, he's holding ours. I go out to join in as I had only met her partner before. He runs the sandwich shop in the shopping parade about a mile away.

We chat about this and that. About her son's interestingly spelled name. About the woods behind the houses. About what a lovely day it is. Her DP comes back to try to help with the lock on the boot, which it transpires is totally busted. We talk about whether our little boys (two weeks apart in age, how cute) are sitting, sleeping through etc etc.

I mention that I work just up the road at a military site. I'm a civil servant.

"Oh, so that's why you dress so old fashioned. I saw you going past the window last week in the morning and thought 'she dresses funny' but that makes sense now."

I generally wear a skirt suit, a pashmina and a fitted coat. I walk 15 mins to work so I wear flat lace up shoes. I push a buggy to take DS to the nursery. Why do I look old fashioned?

its the shoes

Def the shoes. What a weird thing to say though

ouch (ha ha ha).

I'd bet my supper that the woman is currently in utter agonies of embarasment.... I suspect it didn;t come out quite the way it was meant!

How RUDE! She's not really that lovely is she?

very rude.
get some ballet pumps tho

Do you look like this?
I bet she actually means that you look smart but it came out wrong!
I had a sort of compliment that went wrong last week when a lady said to me "I like your scarf. It even looks nice with your coat."

Oh dear. I bet she's kicking herself. It must be the shoes though.

Dd1 wears lace up flat brogue type things sometimes but she is nearly 15 and has legs that go on forever and wears them with teeny little shorts, so can get away with it.

Echo the ballet flats.

So, come on, what was she wearing? (Get some boots as well, btw).

Did you look like this?

loving the pictures!

Today: Black twill Hobbs suit. Black and white Laura Ashley coat. Josef Seibel shoes, not those exactly but close.

It could be the shoes but I don't think she could see them behind the garden wall.

The shoes are a little on the grannyish side.

Defo the shoes with a skirt.

How old are you?

good grief it's the shoes dear!

she means you look smart and wear funny shoes. but she said old fashioned. she's not being 'orrible.

30. I change into heels at work. I just like to walk in sensible shoes as otherwise I'm back and forward from the cobblers getting them repaired and that's ££. I could wear flat boots I suppose but I only have heeled ones - same cobblers prob.

well... what does she wear? if it's a nylon halterneck and denim miniskirt + obligatory muffintop, then I'd prefer "old-fashioned" personally...

30?!

neighbour was wearing trackies and a big cardigan. And crocs I think. But that's not the point, she didn't say untidy or unsmart. Old Fashioned. I am turning into my mother.

Pic in my wedding dress on profile.

i think she means you are dressing old fasioned for your age.

raised eyebrows / pursed lips knowing look

hobbs+laura ashley+those shoes+a 30 year old =old fashioned.

I am seeing Mrs Doyle Are they brogue type?

Although she probably maybe didn't realise you were on your way to work - maybe she thought you dressed like that to walk the baby

New shoes is all you need. I know where you're coming from though. I had to wear trainers permanently for a year , a couple of years ago, whilst I had plantar fasciitis. Totally bad for my image.

Invest in a decent pair of flat boots for walking in.

so is it the shoes or the hobbs/laura ashley? I am 5'4, size 10, where should I be shopping then? I do like classic rather than disposable fashion.

Why the hell shouldn't you wear shoes that are comfortable?

Flat boots are not going to be as comfortable as those shoes for proper walking. Ballet flats?? what, for outdoors in February?? And I wouldn't find it too comfortable to have spend £100 I don't have on boots when you don't even know what she meant, and why should you care anyway!

Upsetting thing to have said to you but I'm sure earlier posters are right and she's wishing she'd never said anything . She sounds nice, really, just violently tactless!