"oh so that's why you dress so old fashioned"

[Lexilicious]

Mortified. Just mortified. But then quite amused.

I have just moved into a house near work. My neighbours seem lovely. I did post a thread a couple of weeks ago under a different name having a little middle class angst about fitting in. I clearly will never fit in. But my neighbours are indeed lovely.

Standing outside on Saturday morning having seen mrs neighbour fiddling at some length with her car boot. DH goes out for some reason and chats to her. She's holding her 6 month old, he's holding ours. I go out to join in as I had only met her partner before. He runs the sandwich shop in the shopping parade about a mile away.

We chat about this and that. About her son's interestingly spelled name. About the woods behind the houses. About what a lovely day it is. Her DP comes back to try to help with the lock on the boot, which it transpires is totally busted. We talk about whether our little boys (two weeks apart in age, how cute) are sitting, sleeping through etc etc.

I mention that I work just up the road at a military site. I'm a civil servant.

"Oh, so that's why you dress so old fashioned. I saw you going past the window last week in the morning and thought 'she dresses funny' but that makes sense now."

I generally wear a skirt suit, a pashmina and a fitted coat. I walk 15 mins to work so I wear flat lace up shoes. I push a buggy to take DS to the nursery. Why do I look old fashioned?

i have to agree change the shoes. But in relation to Hobbs i love it and im 23, an 99% of people say i dress v. nicely, but im worried now maybe they're humoring me

Agree with the others.

Shoes definitely old fashioned - am sure they are comfortable but they look it.

What tights are you wearing - please don't say flesh coloured.

Also hobbs and laura ashley may be ok for the odd bit but are a bit old for a 30 year old in my opinion.

You're still young so have some fun - reiss is nice for interesting but smart clothes.

Also I'd do a dress and jacket or trousers rather than a skirt suit.

She does sound rude though and my god - she was wearing crocs so clearly no fashion expert .

I know I did go uber mumsy after dc1 though - takes a while to get into fashion again I found.

I am nearly 40 and dont think I am old enough for Hobbs.

I disagree that a skirt suit is necessarily old fashioned - but it does depend a lot on the cut, I think Hobbs/Laura Ashley things tend to be cut quite boxy. I prefer Jigsaw or Reiss for work suits - much better cut.

Agree about the shoes though... I do tend to wear heels to walk to work (similar distance) as I'm too vain to wear flats but most colleagues wear trainers as it's obvious then that you're just wearing them to walk in

I can understand the urge to wear horrible comfy shoes to work, but I would always wear mine with trousers.

I hate all flat shoes actually. Much happier when it's either cold and I can wear boots or hot and I can wear sandals.

ok, have been looking around me at work today. There are not a lot of women, it's 90% military on site and 90% of the military are men. So, small comparison to choose from! But most civilian women were either a bit casual, a bit willowy or a bit tarty. My aim at work is actually not to let what I'm wearing get in the way of what I'm saying - I don't want to distract by looking too outré.

But I am definitely one of very very few wearing a skirt suit. Trouble is I have four! All below the knee like a long pencil skirt and fitted jackets over the hips. Not boxy at all. One Hobbs black, one made in Shanghai by copying the Hobbs, one Next dark brown, and one Laura Ashley cream chenille.

wore some low heeled black leather shoes with a buckle today. was cold walking home but at least it wasn't icy. v neck black sweater as a top. er, slightly shiny 10 denier nude hold ups. There is something wrong with leg coloured tights is there?

When I was pregnant I wore wrapover or lycra dresses and a jacket. Often killer heels because I had lovely ankles all through preg. Still do. I have a nice bum (shapely, DH says) and big breastfeeding boobs. Well, D, which is an improvement on the A that they started as.

I have some Reiss but can't afford more and can't afford Jigsaw. I also can't really cope with choosing separates to match early in the morning, so I suppose I have suits to make it easy so that all I need to do is add a non-clashing top and take appropriate (indoor) shoes.

So what we're saying is that I should set out my outfit the night before, are we. And get a sweaty foof in opaque tights? And grow bunions from walking in heels?

Frankly I think old fashioned is starting to sound quite fine.

No need for sweaty foof - you can get opaque hold ups!

Don't need heels - ballet pumps very trendy.

I like the sound of your pregnancy wardrobe!

Lexilicious I think your clothes sound nice. I used to dress like that for work before (a) I stopped working after 2 children, and (b) my figure collapsed once I had DC3 and 4. I even had shoes like yours . But it's 10 years since I worked FT and 6 since I worked PT, so if you're dressing the same way I did then maybe it is old fashioned!

wear what you like, you sound very polished and prim to me.
why be a clone and get what everyone else is wearing?

If you're comfortable wearing that tuff then go with it.

Yes you sound like you look old fashioned, but so what if you're comfortable with that image?

I do think the people suggesting you wear ballet pumps to walk to work in winter are a bit mad tohugh. But the shoes you linked to are hideous. Even a pair of comfy Clarks shoes would look better than those.

Could you not just wear skirts with pretty shirts and cardigans/jumpers and coloured tights/holdups and boots or nice shoes? Or do you need to be in a suit?

I don't think you need to change the clothes at all. You're dressing appropriately for your job and environment.

Those shoes - eeuch! Sorry, but no, no, a thousand times no. I get that they're comfortable and you need good shoes to go to work in but pairing those with a suit and "proper" coat will make you look very old fashioned. They are old ladies' dog walking shoes. With a tweed skirt and a twinset. And a corgi. Sorry. Can't help myself the words are pouring onto the page. Will stop now.

Don't change unless you want to, or feel like your look needs refreshing.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to be conservative at work, but if I were you I'd get the skirts shortened to knee length or a touch below, switch to nice quality opague tights or hold-ups, and change the shoes. Walk to work in the hideous ones by all means, but have something else to change into.

By the way, I don't shop at Hobbs, but I just had a quick look on the website. Are they really selling this shirt for women!!?

dearprudence - that is vile. I've got some Hobbs clothes but they're nothing like that. They're great because they're cut quite big so I'm a whole size smaller at Hobbs

the fact that they cut quite big says a lot about the age bracket they are marketting at.

overmy LOL! I favour L K Bennett myself but I bet I've got a good 10 years on you.

I like the "Audrey Hepburn" look for work ie shift dress, jacket and fabulous shoes/bags but I work in corporate sales selling to banks so the look is, again, appropriate. In fact, I'm probably considered a bit too individual by some!

OK - shiney flesh coloured stockings are a bit of a no no from a fashion point of view - but you don't seem to want to change how you look.

When in Hobbs next look at the nw3 range - its a little bit more fashion forward.

You don't need to look tarty but you don't need to look old either.

Could you team the jackets with some trousers perhaps or with a shift dress?

Also coloured opaques would update your suits. And whats with all the sweaty stuff - its freezing!

I suspect that you're trying to look older to be taken seriously but you're pretty so have fun with your clothes

Erm, you're concerned about a comment made by a person wearing crocs (possibly).

Ignore her. She's obviously insane.

Is Jigsaw really much more expensive than Hobbs?

Hobbs = fiftysomething woman IMO. I think your clothes sound, well, hardly noticeable -- not terrible by any means, or odd. But I would say that your goal not to let your clothing stand in the way of what you are saying does not automatically mean you need to avoid updating your look now and again.

Flesh coloured hosiery is also generally quite an old-fashioned look.

Agree that you need not worry about strange Croc-clad neighbour.

traceybath and many others thank you for the ideas. I am not averse to changing my look but slowly slowly!

I am definitely interested in the shift dress idea but not right now as I am expressing BM at work and don't want to get half undressed to do it! I saw some mentioned on another S&B thread at austin reed which is £££ but perhaps in the sales as being one or two seasons behind would clearly be a step up from looking 30 years too old! I am not sure the suit jackets would cross over to being worn as separate jackets but may try.

Today, as it's Friday, I am wearing quite skinny fuschia jeans-cut trousers (H&M) and a slighty gold-flecked v-neck jumper as a top. Yesterday I wore separates too - a quite colourful skirt and brown herringbone patterned tights.

Clarification on the pashmina - I don't wear it like a shawl but like a really thick scarf. Strictly outerwear.

I think skirt length is importnat too - I look abominably frumpy in anything below the knee, and a million times more so if with flat shoes.
Might be worth taking one of the suits to a tailor / seamstress and seeing if they can suggest how it migth be altered to update it.

your pg dresses sound lovely, work appropriate and eliminate need to match seperates early in the morning - I;d get some more of those rather than spending ££ on new suits.

And try Zara - lovely smart clothes, not too pricey and not aging.

I wonder if your neighbour has seen you in your (quite stylish-sounding) weekend gear and was struck by the difference between what's obv your personal style and what you feel compelled to wear for work?

Those shoes are your undoing. I have some Josef Seibels myself and I'll never, ever part with them, but they're a slip-on style and I wear them with tailored trews and jeans only, never a skirt.

You need skirts that fall just over your knee -- long pencil slim skirts are a bit old ladyish or 1940's. Separates for work are a better idea than suits, and you can set out your outfit the day before, so you have time to give it a little thought. You can get a lot of wear out of sticking to a certain palette that looks business-like, such as dark greys, blacks, cream, white, tan, maybe a little touch of dark neutrals like navy , brown or dark red. Sweaters can work very well if you can find fine gauge knits in natural fibres (wool and wool blends and silk, especially). Don't underestimate the power of a bra that fits and gives you a little lift, and also pay attention to your posture as you walk along.

You should dump all the leg-coloured tights too. Opaques and patterns are a lot more fun but still business-like enough. A pair of flattish leather boots will keep you warmer than shoes and look better with your fitted coat than the flat shoes.

It's the combination of 1. military site, 2. skirt suit and 3. The Shoes. It makes EVERYONE think of a 1940's code-cracker.

also you talk about going to the cobbler which makes you sound like you have actually just BEAMED IN from the 1950s

I'm wondering about your fitted coat too; how fitted and formal-looking is it?