Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

I used to be pretty. Now I am dead rough. It all happened so quickly and i feel really bloody pissed off about it.

53 replies

swottybetty · 29/01/2010 20:38

so now i am sulking.

bloody children. only two and a half years ago i looked lovely. then i had two kids i look awful.

fat obvs with rubbish boobs. i used to have ace boobs.

bad clothes cause no cash.

skin hair etc all shit.

feel very old and haggered.

it all happened so quick and i shall prob never be pretty again and i feel so rubbish.

OP posts:
AvrilHeytch · 29/01/2010 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

southeastastra · 29/01/2010 20:43

it will come back

AvrilHeytch · 29/01/2010 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mimi1977 · 29/01/2010 20:47

Don't lose faith swotty betty. Have you read this.....

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1246916/How-I-learned-mother-AND-feel-sexy---wobbly-cushion-tummy -all.html

You WILL feel pretty again. You just need a plan about how to get there. (I'm big on plans) Don't think I can give you much hope with the rubbish boobs bit though...sorry!

StayFrosty · 29/01/2010 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSeanBean · 29/01/2010 20:52

It will get better in the longer term, but for now: go and pour yourself a large G&T, have a bath. Wash and deep condition hair while in bath. Paint toenais an indecently brigt pink / scarlet. Bribe, beg, co-erce someone into shutting up minding DC while you do this. I guarantee you will feel at least 50% better afterwards.

There are some fab ebay bargains on clothes, I got a great skirt for 99p this week.

StayFrosty · 29/01/2010 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bellissima · 30/01/2010 08:31

Total sympathy. I was trying on underwear yesterday and therefore having to look at my flobbly body in the mirror. v depressing. And it all might look just a little bit better if I could abandon DH and kids and go to a spa and do some exercise and....(dream on bellissima).

I still bought the frilly stuff (at half price). I reckon flobble coated in lace looks better than flobble clad in grey nylon. Treat yourself a bit. You deserve it sometimes.

eggontoast · 30/01/2010 08:41

We dont have a lot of money, but we put aside a small amount each month into a savings account that is purely for 'mummy' to look yummy. I only end up buying things from primark and have only a couple of really nice (not to everyone but to my and hubby) to wear when I leave the house - not very often!

During the day I slob around in old maternity clothes, pjs and big knickers - when I/we go out I wear one of my two special outfits, do hair and make up etc. I still have a flabby belly and still have 2 stone to lose, but in those special clothes, I feel much much better - even a little sexy!

ssd · 30/01/2010 09:08

I think thats it, if you can get out with your dh and have a bit of adult time you feel you can start to try to pull yourself together, but in our position with absolutely no babysitters you just feel like its ground hog day and you never get out the rut

eggontoast · 30/01/2010 09:13

I dont go out without the children! I have no babysitters and bf 9 wk old. I meant, just shopping, visiting friends with kids, playgroup etc!!! he he

persephonesnape · 30/01/2010 09:13

Red lipstick. This will sound very shallow, but it works for me. I can feel myself getting older and savvier and seldom feel feminine let alone pretty, but red lipstick, just because it's there and I can instantly makes me feel better about myself...and I love leaving little red kiss marks on my DCs.

jemart · 30/01/2010 09:21

Good article, not sure I agree entirely with "If we dress badly we're frumpy; if we dress sexily we've thrown away our morals. We can't win."

Its not as if frumpy or sexy are the only two choices is it? If you are reasonably well groomed and have clothes that fit and suit your shape - smart or casual - this is not automatic frumpiness surely?

Op, I feel the same as you some days. As we age it does require more effort to look nice, I don't always have the energy. On the plus side I really don't care as much what other think of me anymore so it balances out.

Alicetheinvisible · 30/01/2010 09:24

Get a Fantasie bra. I have a plain black and lace one that cost about £25. It is a lot i know but even if you just get one it makes a hell of a difference. According to expensive underwear stores you should handwash underwear and the best way to do this is in the bath while you are in it. This means you can det away with just the one bra iyswim? Anyway, it is sturdy but gives your boobs a fab shape, they look all perky. I am a 32F and they don't look post baby at all

Superdrug have some really good skin care pruducts that are really cheap. I have their Vit E illuminating moisteriser (about £2) and their Vit E exfoliating scrub (about £2)

Hope that helps at all

BelleDameSansMerci · 30/01/2010 09:33

Swotty, my DD is 2.4 and I feel quite a bit like you do. I was bloody gorgeous. And now I am not. I am ok when I make an effort but I'm not as good as I was. But, and this is the important bit, as my DD is getting older and I get a bit more time to myself (I'm single and work full time so don't get much of that) I'm starting to make a bit more of an effort and I am starting to get back to normal.

My breasts were also fabulous pre childbirth - they were 36C and stayed up on their own. Hardly needed a bra at all to be honest. Now they're 34DD and are far from perky. I agree with the getting a good bra comments but if you don't have a lot of money you may be better to look at M&S and see if you can get one of their fitters to look after you (Mondays are good).

My point though is that you will get back to your old gorgeous self and I bet it's only you that thinks you aren't still as beautiful anyway!

fifitot · 30/01/2010 09:36

A good haircut works wonders especially with a nice flattering highlight/lowlight job.

I always feel better when my hair looks decent.

Alicetheinvisible · 30/01/2010 09:52

Please don't go to M&S for bra fitting!!!!

I love M&S but they are the worst fitters in the world. La Senza were really helpful and nice, but their bra's come up on the small side. Get fitted at John Lewis, then look online for a cheaper version if that is an option.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 30/01/2010 09:55

I read somewhere that after having a child, you should give yourself at least three years to get back to feeling approximately like your old self appearance-wise, or even really having time to pay attention to working on it at all.

That seems about right to me. But of course lots of people have DCs less than three years apart, so that means you take it from the arrival of the youngest DC.

I find this notion comforting as it seems quite realistic, unlike the "nine months on, nine months off" nonsense that haunted me as I piled on the pounds while BFing DS...

We will get back to being hot eventually if we really want to -- I'm sure of it. Agree the boobs may be a lost cause though (at least mine certainly are)

Alicetheinvisible · 30/01/2010 09:57

Apparently it takes 7 years for your entire body to get back to normal after having children. Not sure where i heard/read that though so not sure how accurate.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 30/01/2010 09:58

I think it's also a lot to do with income -- obv lots of us pre-children had a lot more money to spend on ourselves (eg I worked full-time in a decently paid job, but no longer as I went p/t and now have been laid off).

With the cash flow lower, stuff like the haircut and colour upkeep is a real drain financially. I tried home colour in a low moment when DS was about 10 months old, and it looked nice for about a week and then made me look even sadder and crapper than before.

sungirltan · 30/01/2010 10:03

oooh alice you are so right about the Vit E scrub from superdrug....i love it! put it on dry, sand your self down and rinse it off. won't turn you into a pussycat doll but its so effective i forget what i'm doing sometimes just to stroke my arms after i've used it!

also v cheap and good are the anti age moisturisers from ali - think they are 1.97 - they were on one of the gok programmes.

I read the Liz Fraser article and remember being a bit judgemental about Colleen Rooney for going out straight away - mostly because i saw it as a swign she probably wasn't breastfeeding. Maybe I was BU

fifitot - I am desperate for a haircut but I can't work out how to get around the 3hour appointment/bf issues just yet so i might just wait it out another 2.5 months until weaning!

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 30/01/2010 10:07

no. just have someone bring the baby to you, there's plenty of sitting around in the hairdressers, it's perfect for bfing. get the haircut, that way sanity lies.

bronze · 30/01/2010 10:09

I agree Dorothea, money and time.

I don't have the money to pay someone else to make me look good so have to make do with doing it myself but at the moment if I can put the baby down and know everyone is safe then I'm sleeping. (which is rare in itself) I did manage to get myself a lovely haircut but have since discovered I need at least 20 minutes that I don't have with a pair of straighteners.

StayFrosty · 30/01/2010 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenAT · 30/01/2010 10:11

totally agree about the good haircut making you feel better. Sungirltan I used to just take my dd with me when she was small and feed her discreetly whilst my highlights were setting if she needed a feed. Otherwise she would sit in the pushchair or be passed around the salon being fussed over and cuddled by the staff or other customers. For me my haircut was too important to miss.
But I miss being able to go clothes shopping and find nice clothes that fit and have time to browse and try things on!