Letting yourself 'go'

[downhillfast]

Not sure whether to post this here or in health but here goes.

I just can't seem to be bothered anymore, I find it hard to take an interest in or make an effort with how I look. My hair seems to permanently be greasy (which I hate but feel so tired I'd rather sleep than wash it), ditto taking make-up off (that's when I can be bothered to apply any - mainly concealer for gross spots). I struggle to get dressed (when not at work), feel hungry, eat rubbish and look a mess. Suffer from acne - always have but seems to be getting worse.

Those people who manage to look good, how do you cope?

Do you find it a huge effort?

How can I improve? Please don't tell me to focus on the little things like manicures etc as it's not gonna happen.

I probably have a problem when even keeping my hair clean is too much effort

It's all about perspective. rather than a chore - bave a bath - get some great tunes on and some radox.

get your hair cut. ok it's spending money - ut its so going to be worth it - to feel great.

eat more healthily. Yes it's obvious, but you are in a catch 22 - you feel like shit so you look like shit - you look like shit - and you feel like shit.

theres only you can do something about it. hop to the shop and get some bubble bath and tangerines.

Thanks. I certainly look like shit, the problem is only shit food makes me feel better for a while. Kettle chips or tangerine? Not helped by the fact I dislike most fruits!

However, I do like clementines or whatever they are called at this time of year, so will try to eat more.

How long do you reckon it will take on the tangerines before I see any improvement?!

I think it's just a case of making it more fun to be dressed up. I find putting on some of my favourite music, like I used to when I was preparing to go out for the night, makes me feel better.

In the middle of my depression I felt like that, washing hair was just too much effort! Go buy yourself an expensive shampoo and conditioner, something luxurious. Make it into more of a treat than a chore.

are you depressed?

Have you an idea of what you'd like to look like?

How about stting some targets- maybe one small change a week- such as doing your nails, pedicure, face pack, getting a good haircut and colour, putting on a minimum of make up each morning.

I am vain but I do full make up every day regardless- takes me about 10 minutes. I set aside an hour one evening a week to do my nails and feet- includes filing, hard skin and polish.

I try to exercise every day either a walk or if not at least some toning exercises for my flabby arms and tummy.

It takes dedication but is worth it!

I don't feel doing my nails would make any real change to how I felt peony. I don't know if I'm depressed or just unhappy (unsure where the line is).

1. Get your thyroid tested- I have just been diagnosed with underactive thyroid, and I can't begin to tell you the difference medication has made to my energy levels and skin condition, not to mention appetite and weight loss.

1. Cheat. Get some dry shampoo. Take make up off with a wet wipe. Buy some comfy dresses and wear with tights. Feels like a tracksuit, looks pretty stylish. Buy boots. Get some (red) lipstick.

1. Keep away from trainers, leggings, tracksuits and (others will disagree), jeans. If you have any of these things, burn them.

1. Buy a big coat, preferably with fur on it somewhere. Instant glam, even if you put it on over pyjamas.

Do you have children? How many and how old?

If you do two things off the list, I would recommend the thyroid test and the dry shampoo. Both changed my life.

What are you unhappy about?

Well for starters:

1. I look a mess
2. I feel tired / have no energy
3. I feel worthless and not as good as other people
4. As a result my relationship with everyone is siffering
5. I feel bored and listless
6. I can't seem to lift myself out of the hole to correct any of the above

I always think if your hair looks good then you will automatically feel good and look good. Do you have long or short hair?

Firstly, as you seem to be aware, a trip to the GP might not be a bad thing.

As for the practical issues like washing your hair, I suggest that essentially you won't feel worse for doing it, so you might as well do it as not, if that makes sense?

Making things as easy as possible is a good idea - two-in-one shampoo and conditioner, or a leave in conditioner that you just need to comb through with your fingers might be a start - forget two washes, one is enough!

I have had health issues where I have had to spend prolonged periods in bed, and getting up to the sink has not been an option. In order for it not to be a complete disaster for my skin (I have acne too), I put everything I needed in a largish clear plastic toilet bag next to the bed. In it I kept:

a small mirror
baby wipes to clean my hands before I touch my face
small pack tissues
a foaming cleanser I could remove with cotton wool
cotton wool pads
some gentle toner
non-greasy face cream
lip balm
hand cream
leave-in conditioner
a nail file
a comb
tweezers
hair bands and clips
deoderant

Once I'd got going each morning and evening, it didn't seem such a chore, and just 5 minutes to tidy things up really did make me feel more human. I'm not suggesting you do all of this straight away, but if you can clean your face when you're already in bed, you might be less inclined to think 'I'll do it in the morning'.

If you don't need to get 'dressed' dressed, having some about the house clothes that are as comfortable as pyjamas yet make you feel a bit more together are a great idea. I for one can't bear to wear restrictive clothes at home.

I have long hair (below shoulder length, anyway). It looks good when I do manage to wash it.

To answer an earlier poster I have one child aged 2 btw.

Oh and 7. I am overweight and hate myself for the ugly blob I have become. Every time i try to lose weight I fail miserably so end up comfort eating and so it goes on.

Every morning before leaving home I have a quick fix (mascara and mineral concealer). Wash and dry my hair at night before going to bed. Found that applying moisturize helps my circulation and makes me feel like I'm taking good care of myself. I too suffer from acne and tried many things.. so had an appointment with my GP a couple of weeks ago, and was prescribed delacin-T, a topic antibiotic that you apply twice per day. It appears to be working, so if you wanna give a try, this is my advice.

Please get your thyroid tested, downhill... I have never ever felt as tired, depressed and listless as I did prior to my diagnosis.

Although my previous tips may have sounded facetious, I am serious. Dry shampoo affords me at least an extra hours' sleep per week.

I am from the fur-coat-no-knickers school of style though

Can you just walk into GP and adk for a thyrpoid test tethersend? Or will they want to pursue numerous other inane routes first?

All good advice on here about how to make yourself feel better by looking better .

But:
I would really second what tethersend said above and suggest you go and see your GP. Yes, it is often hard to know where unhappiness ends and depression starts and not everybody with weight gain/bad skin/low mood has an underactive thyroid, but all of that and some other things are SO worthwhile getting checked out.
Do go, please! Do you get on well/trust your GP?

Do you manage to get out of the house every day? Regular exercise (which includes walking with a toddler, does not have to be BodyPump class ) would make you fell (and look!) so much better.

Go and see your doc, go on.

You have to be persuasive, but ask for a thyroid function test; with your symptoms, it should be enough.

If you get nowhere, ask to be referred to an endocrinologist.

There are some very knowledgeable MNers on this topic, who could give you much better advice than me- I think it would be worth posting in the health topic.

More info here

can you make small gradual changes?
what you seem to have is a viscous circle.
small changes- review your diet- cut out junk? do you snack on rubbish? can you replace it with something else more healthy?
Exercise- walk each day?

I have a rubbish GP, when I went recently complaining of panic attacks so bad I had to stop the car, I was told to breathe properly. I also have needle phobia so bad it is preventing me aving 2nd dc, I told them about that too and it was all but dismissed. I don't feel inclined to go back really, especially given the tests involved

Yes peony, I do snack on rubbish, it's fast and easy and requires no preparation, and as I said earlier I'm not a big fruit fan unfortunately. I just wish I could be motivated to DO something. I feel trapped.

I also get bored and dispirited very easily, wish I knew how long you need to persist with the healthier eating to see an improvement, then maybe I could last it out.

Simple. Change your GP.

I think the rules about catchement areas have just changed (not sure), so you may have more chance.

To be frank, downhill, you sound very vulnerable at the moment; regardless of whether or not this is to do with your thyroid, you need some support. If your GP is not providing it, there is something very wrong. Don't waste your time, change GP now.

There are no magic cures.
If you want to look nice you need to take care of yourself and have a bit of discipline