country bumpkin in urgent need of support

[MookySpinge]

how did I become such a stereotype? am sick of looking like the hedge other country bumpkins have been dragged through backwards

is there any chance my skanky barbour will ever be fashionable? or are there more stylish alternatives for me? how can I make myself look nice but still be suitably dressed for riding/walking dogs/surviving attacks from crazed goats?

What size are you? How tall are you and how much do you weigh? Can you post a picture? How much do you have to spend on new clothes and a makeover?

I'm quite podgy, don't know how much I weigh but recently got a denim skirt from Boden which is a 12 and fits nicely but am not sure it is particularly flattering

pleeease don't make me post a pic (although there are some of my enormous bottom on my profile )

I'm nearly 5'4" I think, 1m 60cm anyway however that translates? short legs and long body, generous bosom which puts me off dieting as at a lower weight I looked like a human ironing board!

Do you think we dress for comfort/ practicality because no one ever sees us, MookySpinge?

yes! but I have to go out to dinner in a minute and I have a virtual small holding under my jagged fingernails, my hair (which should be dark brown) has been bleached orange by the sun and straw feels silky by comparison

obviously cannot do much more than shower right now but in the future?

Do you like http://www.seasaltcornwall.co.uk/acatalog/womens_clothing_and_footwear.php seasalt?

Or even seasalt?

I reckon that if you sort the hair and the fingernails out in a way that is realistically possible to maintain long-term, and also if you just make sure that whatever you are wearing fits well even if it is super-practical, that alone will help loads. Hair makes a mahoosive difference IME.

I am usually quite scruffily dressed by alpha mum standards, therefore make a strict rule of getting hair trimmed v regularly and highlighted v subtly when I can afford it (subtlety important to ensure no horrendous regrowth issues when I can't). It sort of keeps me from sinking completely below the waterline IYSWIM. Also re: nails, I don't aim so high as to actually polish 'em but do file them and rub stuff on cuticles every 3/4 days so at least they are always neat.

Will leave clothing advice to others as I am ill-qualified to advise

Oh and also: good supportive well-fitting bras, always. Do not skimp.

Oh dear, worrying I have offended/patronised you. Hope not. Was v basic advice I know

I'm a dog-walking fell-running work-from-home bumpkin. Until 9 months ago I lived in SW london, 5 minutes walk to Jigsaw, Whistles, Hobbs, Karen watsername, and John Lewis. and had to look presentable enough for an office 3 days/week. oh it's another world. I live in jeans now and my stupidly expensive north-face waterproof.

so what's the solution? I don't really know but...I would say - firstly you/we need to embrace the practical - rather than just wearing old/tatty/relegated stuff for dog walking etc spend a bit of money on some decent sweatshirts and fleeces. ok so they're not exactly stylish - but if you've got to wear a sweatshirt or fleece you'll feel better if it's a relatively recent one, in a colour you like and that suits you and fits you and doesn't look like it's been in your wardrobe for 10 years. (I have part-taken my own advice with one lovely new sweatshirt from that Bastion of Style, Blacks).

second - remember that even if 90 per cent of your time is spent outside and with animals every now and then you'll get an invite to dinner or similar. and when you do you will not have time to drive to the nearest town to buy something to wear. so plan. (cue next bit of advice that will get laughed out of sight by anyone really stylish.) keep an eye out for likely clothes - even when you're not clothes shopping. I procured a lovely black jersey dress from, wait for it, Tesco. it's plain. it's black. it can be layered. it can be worn with boots or shoes, and with different accessories. it does not scream Tesco - could have come from anywhere. and it cost about £15.

ok so that's my 2 tips for the moment. I'll come back if I think of more.

none of which are any good for what I now see is last night...

oh - and could the barbour be replaced with a long drizabone? I know they're expensive but my neighbour wears one and it looks great. in a country-style type way. helps that she is v. petite and has a head of lovely long wild wavy/curly hair

Oh I'm not offended! Not in the least! Forgot I'd started this thread, and am still rampaging around like some wild woman/hedge hybrid

I'm going shopping today! Probably for more of the same sort of things but at least they will be new, all my jodhs have holes in the worst places

Thank you for all your suggestions