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Original poster

How wrong would it be to wear a bridesmaids dress before the wedding?

29 replies

SkaterGrrrrl · 16/09/2009 15:10

My friend is getting married in 3 months and she just bought me a gorgeous bridesmaid's dress. (not peach tafatta I haten to add, but a lovely silky sheath from Monsoon)

It's my birthday soon and DH is taking me out to a nice restaurant...I am really tempted to wear the new dress. I KNOW etiquette says I shouldnt wear the dress before her wedding, but is there any real harm?

The bride will never know and I am prepared to replace the dress if I spell red wine on it.

All opinions welcomed

OP posts:
EyeballsintheSky · 16/09/2009 15:15

Supposing you can't replace it, none in your size, wrong colour etc? I think you shouldn't. Anyway, it's meant to be a bit special and it won't be if you've worn it to the local Bernie Inn

potplant · 16/09/2009 15:15

If you 100% certain that there is absolutely no chance on earth that your friend or anyone else she may know will see you wearing it? If so, go for it.

(If I was the bride I would be livid though, especially if I'd paid for it)

differentID · 16/09/2009 15:16

Sorry i wouldn't.

Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 16/09/2009 15:25

The dress has only just come into Monsoon so should be able to track down a replacement but I appreciate it's a a risky little game...

The bride is incredibly laid back about all things weddingy (for example she doesnt care about co-ordinating bridesmaids outfits, has just given us a colour and told us to pick a dress). However I would hate to upset her.

If the consensus on here is don't do it, I wont do it!

OP posts:
VanillaIce · 16/09/2009 15:28

Awful idea. You just can't. You sound like a terrible bridesmaid by the way with this "the bride will never know" attitude. Hope you're not planning to sleep with the groom before the big day too on the same grounds!

SausageRocket · 16/09/2009 15:29

not if bride has paid for it, no.

Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 16/09/2009 15:29

Chill out vanilla, it's a light hearted thread!

OP posts:
LIZS · 16/09/2009 15:30

Nope , afetrwards is different but it should be "fresh" for the wedding

LIZS · 16/09/2009 15:30

Nope , afetrwards is different but it should be "fresh" for the wedding

EyeballsintheSky · 16/09/2009 15:33

Is she laid back enough to ask or is that pushing the laid-backness?

BitOfFun · 16/09/2009 15:35

You'd be best to avoid slim sheaths anyway if you're going out for a nosh, ime.

Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 16/09/2009 15:38

I take the point that the dress should 'feel' all shiny & new on her wedding day.

Guess I should be happy she has bought me a dress I want to wear so badly. Certainly wasnt the case the last 2 times I was a bridesmaid!

OP posts:
dexter73 · 16/09/2009 15:41

If I was the bride I would have no objection at all to you wearing it. I cannot see the problem (except the dress being ruined but that is unlikely). I am very relaxed too!

nickelbabe · 16/09/2009 15:50

it's fine wearing it afterwards, but not before: it's supposed to be special to the bride and to her wedding.
it's not nice.

MrsBadger · 16/09/2009 15:56

if you paid for it fair enough

if she paid then I wouldn't

Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 16/09/2009 17:13

The bride paid for it.

So that's one yay and lots of nays...

OP posts:
SqueezyCheese · 16/09/2009 17:16

Here's another nay. Without being offensive, I think it is rude. Wearing it afterwards would be fine but not before.

ThePhantomPlopper · 16/09/2009 17:31

I wouldn't do it. Afterwards yes, before no.

MmeLindt · 16/09/2009 17:35

I would not do it either, it might get damaged.

And it is plain rude.

themoon66 · 16/09/2009 17:35

Post link to dress so I can decide

wilkos · 16/09/2009 17:37

yes, very rude. don't do it

LuluMaman · 16/09/2009 17:39

yes it is rude. and it won't feel as special to you when you wear it

and it will be sods law you =ruin it and cannot replace it and then you are stuffed!

shonaspurtle · 16/09/2009 17:40

If my bridesmaid had asked me if she could wear the dress before the wedding I would have said yes.

I'd want to be asked though I think.

So, maybe you should say something like: "If you don't want me to then I absolutely won't, but I love my dress so much that I'd really like to wear it out for my birthday meal. What do you think?"

If you don't feel you can ask her then I think that gives you your answer.

Rindercella · 16/09/2009 17:43

I wouldn't do it personally. How fab though to have a bridesmaid dress that you are actually desperate to wear! That has got to be some sort of record surely?!

Ooh yes, post link please

AllBuggiedOut · 16/09/2009 17:43

Nope. You have a birthday next year - wear it then!