So who is dreading the school gate 'fashion parade' ?

[tulip27]

My ds starts school next wk and it seems to be that all the parents I have seen in the last few years look immaculate, fashionable and trendy, almost like they have stepped from the boden catalouge. Will my jeans and jumper surfice?

Where does all this occur? Is picking up children a social occasion?

of COURSE i am heated!!!

Well I'd probably be looking out for the somewhat less glamorous-looking, non-Bodeny Mums to make friends with... as they might be more like me Just be yourself and hopefully you'll find some like-minded friends.

Firstly Boden is not trendy, it's nice enough I suppose if you like that sort of thing. Same for the kids Boden - it's a bit of a different look - a bit 'country' or something can't think of the right word at the mo, but that's just my opinion

A lot of the mums at my dc's school look like they've just stepped out of the salon at 8.45 in the morning, they must get up at 5am to do their hair and make up.

Personally I can't be bothered with all that, but I do shower and put on make up most mornings and try and look tidy enough.
On the mornings that I can't be bothered cos I've slept in it's guaranteed that I'll be stopped by a million mums and all I can think is god I look like shit, and actually it's a bit embarassing.

But depending on the school it can be a fashion show, it's just up to you whether you want to do the same.
I agree with whoever said get some smart looking casual clothes so even if you just chuck on a tracksuit at least it's a very nice tracksuit and it just looks better.

Boden is ridicuously expensive. There does seem more emphasis on clothes now than when my teengers were little and I had to do the school gate thing. Either more people didn't care or more people couldn't afford it. But now you get stared at. I couldn't afford nice clothes if I wanted them but see nothing wrong with tee and jeans and, in the winter, fleece.

Personally, I favour the jods and crocs look, try not to wear my boots into school {grin] when I put on a skirt and smart coat for the Xmas concert last year no one recognised me!

This is interesting. I'm not sure why I care what I look like, but I do. I might wear scruffy jeans and undone boots whilst lugging ds2 from the car and back, but I have to feel acceptable in that they have to suit me and so on, I can't go out at all if I feel I look disgusting on my own terms.

Weird isn't it - like it really matters.

Women with masses of make up on do unnerve me though, the sheer effort involved must be colossal and maybe it indicates the extent of their insecurity, which is really sad

There was one woman at our old school who always wore thick make up and hair up and styled and so on...she never spoke to anyone...occasionally we had a chat and she came across as very awkward, not the type of person who made you feel important - but I think that must have come from a deep seated dislike of herself, and fear of other people - I felt sorry for her, and I'm rubbish socially myself.

I think people should wear what they like. Comfortable is usually good. Anyone in tottering heels and flicky hair looks pretty awful, if it means they can't walk properly.

Gosh, I find all this very unusual and not part of my experience at all. I don't notice what other parents wear at the school gates, and have turned up myself in whatever I have chosen to wear for that day - be in smart work attire or jeans and t shirt. I don't waear much make up regardless, and myhair gets a brush. I guess some of the parents, or mums anyway, might do - but it is obviously lost on me, lol!

Even when I help out there a couple of times a week I dress tidily and nicely (I think) but still no big dilemma.

It's bizarre. I can't believe people attach so much importance to this, or even notice it. "Is picking up children a social occasion?" - well, quite. For some, it seems it is - the highlight of the day and the chance to show off some ridiculously expensive fashions which hubby's money has been wasted on they have bought for themselves.

I find this thread very sad, tbh.
My kids are in their 20s now, but I remember school gates and nothing like this went through my head. Yes, I'd notice what people wore, but no mrore than in any social situation.

You should be trying to get to know who these mums are under their clothes, iyswim! rather than pre-judging. Not everyone who buys Boden is super confident or rolling in cash.

I don't get this stuff about Boden- I am a Boden junkie, but I buy it because Ilike some of it, not to make a lifestyle statement- I'd wear Prada or Amani if I wanted to do that!

I reckon its more apparent nowadays (old gimmer emoticon). 20 years ago when I had my first fashion was for teenagers and rich people (super rich). Mums wore jeans and tees. Now you see more and more women in their 20's and 30's dressing fashionably and plastering on makeup just to go to the shops.
I've certainly noticed it more and more. Round here its all orange fake tans, straightenned hair and lots of make up and jewellry. Gawd knows where these women get the time with small children!

DS1 is going into Year 1 next week.

Don't worry, Op.

Drop off in the morning, have seen people in full PJ's and dressing gown combo, so anything better than that and you're OK.

Some Moms work, so have work clothes on, some look trendy and glam, some just have gym gear/riding clothes etc. I am in a jumper and jeans mostly (non-Boden).

Nowt to worry about

UQD was that serious? Do you really consider that every woman wearing nice clothes has 'wasted their husband's money' on them?

I could pull you up on so many levels, but really don't think that it'll make any difference if you actually believe something as ridiculous as that.

surely thats what a husbands money is for? So you look pretty for him at all times?

yes FlightHattendant, I have more money to spend on clothes now that I'm on one parent family allowance than I did when I was a sham.. I never had a penny before, xh used to wear ted baker and paul smith though.

my dh wears ted baker and paul smith etc all the time he buys all his clothes from charity shops and always looks great

UD - put that big old spoon of yours away.

There's a big difference between looking "composed and confident" (of which the OP was seemingly envious) and wearing "ridiculously expensive fashions". I've never experienced the latter at my school.

Looking composed and confident does not require "too much time" on your hands...or a wealthy husband.

Whenever I do the school run I tend to be in workwear (very corporate looking) so probably do look a bit more 'pulled together' than a SAHM who will spend most of her day on the carpet playing games with small children. Not saying that SAHMs can't be glam or whatever but just that ime practicality tends to beat glamour on a day to day basis when you have young kids.

Bottom line is that all the boden/expensive clothing in the world ain't going to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. If you are pretty and have a nice figure then relax, people will notice that and be envious/impressed regardless of whether you have the latest styles. If you are not particularly attractive then Boden et all will not make you gorgeous. Middle aged women in colourful knitwear are not at all impressive/aspirational in the scheme of things.Realise this&worry about more important things!

DD is 11 mths old and I am already contemplating the politics of this!

I had the following conversation a couple of weeks ago with my neighbour, when DD was at her weekly nursery session and I was dressed in muddy clothes due to an ill-considered landscape gardening project:
Me: Aargh, do you think I can turn up at nursery dressed like this, or do I have to have a shower and put something nice on first?
Neighbour: Hmm, I don't think you can go like that, people just don't, do they?
Me: But I go to the shops in my riding clothes.
Neighbour: Oh, that's totally different. Riding clothes are definitely OK.
Me: But gardening clothes aren't?
Neighbour: No, I always change out of my gardening clothes to go to pick up the kids.
Me: And then get changed back again when you get home?
Neighbour: Yes.

As a result I have started paying attention and I think the rules are as follows:

Acceptable outfits:
Riding clothes
Gym clothes
Yummy mummy clothes (glossy hair, stylish casual trousers, etc)
Power work outfits (i.e. suits)

Unacceptable oufits:
Gardening clothes
Anything with elastic (pyjama pants, track pants, etc)
Non-power work outfits (e.g. Tesco uniform)

Am I understanding this correctly?

I always think this doesn't bother me but thinking about it 1st term I felt a bit frumpy 1st thing so dyed my hair a nice shade of plummy purple somehow disastrously damaged my hair could not leave house with out it turning into instant frazzled candyfloss type wire wool in seconds so took to wearing a hat anyway

Then I have thinking about it - everytime I try something new on these days if not sure about it think can I see myself picking ds in it so yes it would appear it does bother me after all!!

I suppose anywhere where you're regularly crammed in with a load of your peers it's gonna make you wonder what kind of impression you give.

One more thing of course is it also reflects on ds. I have a few things I am happy to be seen in but not for ds's mum to be iyswim!! Jeans with huge holes in bums etc

Plenty of Tesco/non power work uniforms at my school gates. Don't think they are any less 'acceptable' than power suits.

I am a little immaculate, always wear make up and dress well (I think) but I couldn't give a hoot what other people wear. A friendly face is a friendly face. This week I will be tanned and I have lost over a stone over the summer so I could wear a black bag and feel better than I did in July!!

Not meaning to be awful but surely the first day at school is about YOUR CHILD and not about YOUR CLOTHES. just be you and if they dont like it at least u know who the real peolpe are. My children went to private school and i am probably the poorest mum out of them all but funily enuf the guys and girls love coming round to our home alot as its not full os falseness and materialism