Crimes against fashion and decency....say here what you really wanted to say to the perpetrator but couldn't

[NorbertDentressangle]

To the woman cycling along our road this afternoon.......

" a black lacy thong worn under very thin, low-rise, white leggings is not a good look - especially when cycling"

Next?

To a fellow guest at a recent Christening in a beautiful Catholic cathedral:

"A really tiny mini skirt, five inch heels and lots of cleavage are just plain wrong for a Christening. Please don't distract us from adoring that gorgeous cherub by flashing your lady garden."

To those women that wear their knicker side straps hanging out the top of their jeans :
" You don't look sexy, you look like a tart!"
Phew that was theraputic.

love this thread!

Someone asked what bum antlers are:

they're those strange curved symmetrical tattoos that some choose to have on their lower backs/hips. No problem with tattoos, but I don't want to have to see them poking up above the sinking waistband of your trousers, or even more if they're swollen bum antlers enlarged by a muffin top

And I don't want to see a whale tail either (back of thong, in lurid colour, sticking up above the waistband of said trousers).

to the man i saw in the street yesterday (not all fashion crimes are female shurely?) in the tshirt bearing the witty slogan "i fucked your mum" - is this your idea of a charming chatup line? or perhaps cheeky innuendo? a boon to the reading skills of small children in the neighbourhood? or are you just looking to start a fight?

I quite agree that it doesn't matter what people wear if they like it jasmine. But for the love of god wear the right frigging size! And bear in mind your shape when choosing clothes. Surely that's not too much to ask?

And I still have an aversion to adult women wearing flowers in their hair without irony and not at a wedding. I know I got told off for this yesterday but I am unrepentant. So there!

To the topless chap in the football area of the park today: your gorilla back and beer belly put me right off my afternoon snack. Thanks!

Jasmine - am not being bitchy or shallow or hung up about fashion by being apalled by thrush-inducing camels feet

Some people just get it oh-so-very-WRONG

to 95% of the young girls in Brighton - the leggings and short dress/skirt combo don't suit you. they suit your thinner/taller friends.

you may realise when you are in your late 30s that it isn't necessary to follow every fashion trend. although you may still buy a pair of leggings that you still look crap in then.

Many thanks Dolly for bum antler exposition!

Oh, so do bum antlers = tramp stamps? Well that's what I call them, sort of look my arse is in this direction, in case you hadn't noticed..

To men old enough to know better in Superman t-shirts, why?

To middle aged women with pigtails, wearing pale pink, why? why? why? They alwys seem to be blonde too - no offence blondies -

quite cathartic this thread

very cathartic...in fact so much so, I have another to add:

" just because your stomach is a lovely tanned colour doesn't make it alright to have on display -believe me, the tan doesn't detract from the fact your stomach is huge, flabby and hanging over the top of your jeans (which incidently could do with being 2 sizes bigger)"

the outline of your teeny cock in those too-tight shorts put me off my hotdog

To large stubble-headed youth in town centre: 'Your top is stained and looks very hot for the time of year. May I suggest something in 100% cotton without a football logo? It would be cooler and more flattering.'

to the generously proportined lady in the supermarket last week;

lace footless tights are intended to be worn under a dress or skirt, not as pants with a short top. and surely it was a bit breezy without any keks on love?

[vomits at the memory]

Do you enjoy having thrush?

To just about everybody under 25 in this weather. What gives? Leggings? Skinny jeans?

I feel my crotch call for fresh air just looking at these people. As for the ones who wear furry boots with bare legs and short skirts - ack! I don't want to think of the sweat/ acrylic interface going on in your footwear.

to the two bra-less women in their mid to late 50s on the plane from Spain- your low cut dresses show too much droopy boob- get a strap less bra- your breasts have gone south and are not perky enough to be bra-less.