Crimes against fashion and decency....say here what you really wanted to say to the perpetrator but couldn't

[NorbertDentressangle]

To the woman cycling along our road this afternoon.......

" a black lacy thong worn under very thin, low-rise, white leggings is not a good look - especially when cycling"

Next?

camel's foot is the w created in the crotch area due to very tight trousers.

It's almost impossible to buy a wedding dress that is anything other than strapless, I tried.

sockmonkey - I would extend to say 'Pull your trousers up I do not want to see 6 inches of greying, cheap, fraying undies'.....

Ginger hair dyed black breaks my heart.

To all female Labour MPs:
Believe it or not, you would look far more dignified and actually more attractive if you allowed your hair to go grey instead of dyeing it bright orange/purple/red etc.

And to about 30% of male Labour MPs:
And you should stop dyeing yours and all, it looks fake and just highlights the wrinkly forehead. You are not 30 any more.

'Dont try and wear your weight in gold around your neck' to the girl I saw in Tesco easrlier. She has about 4 different thick gold chains around her neck, including one that had a clown with moveable arms (awful, just awful!)

Oh, and to the mum at our school - 'Stripper shoes are no good for walking over the school field. You have been doing it since september last year, why have you not learnt?'

just because they sell it in your size does not mean you should buy it.

to the girl who was easaily a size 30 in black leggings and a halter neck lycra top

If you have HUGE (saggy) norks - dont squeeze them into a flimsy strappy dress WITHOUT a bra .Luckily woman in question was wearing a maxi dress so at least they weren't poking out under the hem.

agree on the 'don't wear your weight in gold around your neck'.....can we please extend this to 'just because you have 8 fingers & 2 thumbs you don't need to wear rings on all of them at the same time'

I saw a woman, size 20 at a guess, in leggings and a crop top in Morrisons just now, her belly was actually hanging out. I just wanted to grab her and make her look in the mirror.

Morrisons is great for spotting crimes against fashion and decency.

To the 40-something, viciously botoxed orange lady with very fake norks who wears tight-fitting 'designer' clothes to take the kids to swimming (think Essex ) - you're getting older. Live with it, or risk us being unable to contain the giggles (even DD whispered 'I'm glad you don't look like that Mum').

To my SiL: "stop buying me presents from the sale rack at New look. Those cheap shitty tops that are batwinged with the shoulders cut out are disgusting. I do not want to look like a barmaid from the 80s"

That felt good to get off my chest. No offence to barmaids from any decade.

I was a bar maid in the 80s.

(but I was a Doc Marten wearing student type rather than a Bet Lynch type [)

"I think you've shit your trousers, love"

to the three! young women I have seen wearing those awful MC Hammer pants.

STOP THE INSANITY!!! (I blame GOK)

Oy Oliver: stay off Harem trousers. They're the best.

To my work colleague in the bright pink shirt (think pepto bismol): NO. It looks like unicorn vomit (though, TBH, I did tell him in person as well)

You should never ever wear t-shirts with words emblazened across your tits -

Examples - "Babe"...Perhaps a member of the bovine family

"Come and get me boys"..... Aye with a base ball bat

"Drop Dead Gorgeous".... You should be sued under the trade descriptions act

Also - do not buy cheap leggings, then wear them with a short t-shirt. I do not want to see your saggy white arse wobbling along the road.

Bumbags - no

Those vile fleeces with wolves on - no

Caps - unless you are participating in a physical sport - no.

To the mum who looks like she has all the feminine wiped out of her at school (but is probably really very nice)

Please, please stop wearing your husband's t-shirts and really you must stop wearing those skin tight cotton jeans. They show every crater of cellulite. Also two tones of navy...NO NO NO.

To the many teenage girls with big belts:

They may show off your nice flat stomach but if you'd looked properly (i.e. at your back) in a mirror before you left home you'd have seen your saddle bags perched chirpily on the top of said belt.

They are not flattering.

Agree with the gingers dying their hair black! Why? 30 seconds after leaving the salon they have a giant orange stripe running down their head. Stop it! Stop it now!

After some careful observation this week I have come to the conclusion that leggings are a very hard style to pull off after the age of 9 for skinny ladies OR the larger ladies.

There also seems to be a considerable amount of Winnie the Pooh and Mr Men t shirts on middle aged women around these parts.

This discussion makes me feel quite sad, it's so bitchy and shallow.
I'd far rather see all these different ways of dressing than everybody looking stylish, the same and often boring.
If these people are happy then they are doing you no harm.

jasmine, what are you wearing? You are wearing MC hammer pants aren't you?
:D just kidding.

c'mon, people take 'fashion' so seriously, it's ok to poke some fun at it now and again.

Oh dear Jasmine. Now you see if we were doing this to people's faces or behind their backs at the playground it would be bitchy BUT this is an anonymous internet forum so therefore no-one is getting hurt

See now Oliver is nicer than me
(but she is wearing white linen trousers with a black thong so I don't care )

We're not doing THEM any harm either, it's not like I go up to the people wearing Mr Men t shirts and start ridiculing them loudly which is what they clearly deserve

To the woman in the steet yesterday:

'WTF? Why are you wearing a black mini skirt, dayglo green string vest and dayglo green leg warmers.......in your 40's!!!'

To my lovely size20 colleage.
Please don't wear the purple top with horizontal stripes. It doesn't do you any favours at all.
In fact, a good rule might be to ditch all horizontal stripes .