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Original poster

Going grey...do it gracefully or dye it!

88 replies

ilove · 27/04/2009 11:30

I woke up last Monday (ON my 40th birthday!) to discover I have suddenly sprouted a LOT of grey hair!

So,do I give in with grace or do I dye? And if I dye, what to get? What's best? I am a brunette with bright blue eyes, shoulder length hair but a couple of large bald patches from alopecia.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 27/04/2009 11:35

Dye it
I dye mine, have done for years to cover greay (first grey hairs spotted at age 22yrs)

You may need to go to a hairdresser as they will know what will work best with alopecia, you wouldn't want a reaction.

I am the same colouring as you and I use a dark golden brown in winter and a slightly lighter one in Summer.

Lizzylou · 27/04/2009 11:36

grey sorry

macherie · 27/04/2009 11:43

oh, dye it, grey hair iss very demoralising, IME.

frazzledgirl · 27/04/2009 11:47

Ha! I haven't seen my real hair colour since I was 19. Have lots of grey (at 33 ) and hate hate hate it. Dyeing the only option for me.

Defo go to a hairdresser, but if they say you're OK to do home colouring, I've just tried the new Perfect 10 range from Clairol and it was brilliant (comb attachment so easy to apply, and only needs to be on for ten mins).

Good luck

CMOTdibbler · 27/04/2009 11:48

I have loads of grey (and am not nearly 40), and mine is mostly in a solid block at the front. I dye it as otherwise I look like Morticia.

My friend is probably as equally grey, but hers is spread evenly over her whole head. She doesn't dye it and looks fab

Rubyrubyrubyflipflop · 27/04/2009 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMumInScotland · 27/04/2009 12:26

I've been going grey since I was about 10, and have never bothered dying it - I think it's just too much hassle to start on something which you then have to carry on doing forever!

theDreadPirateDavina · 27/04/2009 12:38

We share a birthday

I don't have any grey yet myself (plucked the 6 or 7 that came through when BFing), but am not planning on dying unless I absolutely have to. I need to know how bad it's getting [control freak].

If you have alopecia, you might be better off talking to a dermatologist (assuming they do hair too) than a hairdresser - IME hairdressers aren't going to be that knowledgeable.

But how does it look overall? Is it sprinkled fairly evenly? Is it clumped in patches? You might just look far nicer being distinguished than having to worry about roots every 4 weeks...

citronella · 27/04/2009 12:55

Dye it! I have been dying mine since about mid thirties and the weeks in between dyeing sessions are getting fewer and fewer. But I can't bear to see the grey and it really does add years to the face. So depressing!
If I had to choose between dyeing grey hair or make up it would have to be the hair.

mum2samandalex · 27/04/2009 12:55

has anyone tried fleeceflower root? Its a herbal remedy supposed to be good for grey hair and hair growth?! Im desperate to try anything and hoping someones tried it with positive results. I really hate dying my hair!

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/04/2009 12:59

Bloody hell you've only sprouted some at 40

I hate women like you

I was 18 when I spotted my first and it was downhill all the way from there.

I WAS a bright gingers naturally and love being a redhead, so I hennaed it for years. Then too much grey made it start to go orange so I now have it done a subtle mid brownish coppery colour professionally.

No WAY am I letting my grey out. My dad was white at 35 (ok I know I've got his hair genes) and people used to think he was our grandad. I only had my sons at 42 and 43, round here in the capital of teenage pregancy I have been mistaken for my own childrens granny often enough - can you imagine if I had white hair, it would be a daily occurence.

One of the chaps I work for has a wife 10 years younger than me, she has a half grey bushy hair do, last week someone nearly fainted when he realised she is only 36.

Get it dyed. But get it done professionally.

paisleyleaf · 27/04/2009 13:03

I'm recently trying to give up colouring mine, as I think VERY soon I'll have to colour it because of grey.
I think dye it.

BlackEyedDogstar · 27/04/2009 13:04

I found a grey pube yesterday .

I'm not dyeing it though.

as for the rest yes do it! People will only assume you are a young looking fifty year old otherwise.

PuppyMonkey · 27/04/2009 13:07

I agree - dye it. But be aware grey hair is a bogger for keeping dye on - you will probably find it fades out within a few washes, even permanent stuff. My sis has to do her her roots about every two weeks... she uses permanent stuff.

I've opted for a "disguising" solution with blonde highlights, which disguise it much better when the grey inevitably starts coming back within a few washes.

I am blue eyed brunette naturally too. I now have some blonder highlights towards the front - and my hair cut in a long bob, so it falls round on top of my temples - which are the very greyest on my head.

Go to a hairdresser with a dedicated colouring section who will be able to advise you on what might suit you and your skin colouring etc.

Galava · 27/04/2009 13:36

Dye it.

Unfortunately I've realised that I'll have to do mine regularly now until I'm ready to throw the towell in. What a depressing thought.

If its random hairs then you might be able to get away with it, but if like mine its a big streak, then unless you are prepared to brave the badger look in public, it has to be the bottle I'm afraid.

ja9 · 27/04/2009 14:00

i am AMAZED that everyone is saying to dye your hair!!

so at what age do you think it is acceptable to be grey but still glam?

i think older ladies with grey hair look very distinguished... but i don't know at what age i would be happy with grey hair myself.

i have never dyed my hair. luckily only have the odd grey appear which gets swiftly whipped out ( am 30 ) so haven't had to really ponder it yet...

DuchessOfAvon · 27/04/2009 14:06

I have just stopped dyeing my hair after nearly 20 years. I haven't been my natural colour since I was 18!

But - straitened finances dictates an end to salon colouring and I can't find time or motivation to do it at home. So I am now nicely badgery at the temples.

I have compromised by going for a much funkier cut - a short crop. Everyone says I look 10 years younger (despite the grey!) - primarily because its a more modern hairdo.

PurlyQueen · 27/04/2009 15:07

Dye it! Why do you want to look prematurely old?
I think the 'grey but glam' look only works when you are 50, otherwise you just look haggard.

PuppyMonkey · 27/04/2009 15:10

ja9 - the trouble with grey is it doesn't go "glam" straight away - like with all those lovely older models with their beautiful grey lustrous hair. It goes at the temples, in patches and looks like a mess, making you look much older than you are, for years and years before it gets to that gorgeous glam stage.

When you have a few more grey hairs, you will no longer be "amazed" by MN advice to dye it!

belgo · 27/04/2009 15:13

I've been dyeing my hair since my late twenties to cover grey. I hate seeing grey hairs, it makes me look and feel so much older.

It's actually quite easy to do at home, I can do it with ds aged 6 months on the bathroom floor.

sleeplessinstretford · 27/04/2009 15:44

my dad was 65 last week, I first dyed my hair for his 40th birthday-so i have been dyeing my hair for 25 years- i am 36.
My hair was red as a kid and got darker-now it's erm i've no idea what colour underneath but i get the occasional 'jesus christ what the fuck is that white WIRE poking out of my scalp' moment...
i should go for low lights/high lights to try and blend it in but am not brave enough to do so right now.
I am waiting until i am too old for long hair (which i reckon,with my hair will be about 5 years away)

sarah293 · 27/04/2009 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ilove · 27/04/2009 15:50

Thanks all.

It is on top towards the front where it isgreying, sprinkled at the moment but more every day. The main bald patch is also right on top slightly to the side, so I have shoulder-length hair with a long-ish swept fringe.

My hairdresser is ace and more than happy to dye with the alopecia, but at £90 a pop I can't afford it very often so was hoping to DIY lol!

The general concensus seems to be to dye it...DH says the same too...

argh decisions decisions!

And yes it is awful texture the grey...there again on the occasions the bald parts grow back they have no pigment in them and are a strange texture too! Maybe I'll just get my wig out again...lol!

OP posts:
ja9 · 27/04/2009 15:59

Oh dear. this has been a bit of a reality check for me! fingers crossed i won't have to deal with it too soon

Highlander · 27/04/2009 16:08

I get a semi-permanent dye done every 6 weeks at the hairdresser. They can alter the strength of the developer to suit how quickly you like it to fade.

As my hair gets greyer, I like the dye to fade a little quicker so that I'm not left with hideous grey roots.

if you don't have much grey hair, you could get the developer strength increased, as your roots won't be so obvious.