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Original poster

Once you have let yourself go, how do you get back to looking nice without it costing the earth ??

64 replies

CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:08

I have most definatly let myself go over the past few years and even more so since I became a single mum.

I can't figure out when I stopped caring as much really.

Anyhow, how do I get back to caring ? I hate the way I look at the mo, out of date, frumpy mum of 3.

OP posts:
lou33 · 06/03/2009 18:10

can you pinpoint what parts you are unhappy with most of all and want to change or work on?

Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:16

Ummmmmmm now then that is a question lol.

I just always feel like I look scruffy or at least like I have put no thought into what I look like at all.

I am not a total scruffbag, I do wash and straighten hair everyday and wear make-up but i think my clothes are letting me down.

I have put weight on recently which has left me with few clothes that still fit. I am trying to do something about it but i'm stil only a szie 12 so i'm not sure I am that bothered about it iyswim.

I need a new pair of jeans for a start.

OP posts:
alicecrail · 06/03/2009 18:20

Having your hair cut in a different style can really help, as it makes you see your self differently iyswim. Pair of decent fit jesns can work wonders. I got a great pair that are really flattering in asda for £7!
Also, if you go to a department store and get your make up done it can give you a real boost.

Galava · 06/03/2009 18:21

Walk everywhere and drink lots of water.

GossipMonger · 06/03/2009 18:23

It doesnt have to cost the earth and tbh you sound fine! If you have nice hair and makeup then clothes are cheap enough atm.

I often buy clothes from Tesco and their jeans are lovely. Tops are often less than £5. Primark is another good place to shop.

What sort of look are you going for?

frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 18:23

Its going to be dependent largely on what you can afford.........

If you have a decent bit to spend then do you have some/a good friend who could talk you through what they think they would like to see you in?

You could aim for buying outfits rather than one of this and one of that. That way you end up with say new jeans and two tops that go together, then a new dress and shoes, then a skirt and top.

If there is not a lot of money then IMHO aim to spend on jeans (I like Fat Face or White Stuff for jeans (around £40/50) and go cheaper with the tops. Accessories really are a MUST.

If I put on jeans and a white 3/4 sleeve top I look like a frump. If I add a big heavy set of beads, two bracelets and a modern bag and scoop my hair into something I can look ok. The top and jeans remain the same but the whole look is better.

Mascara and lip gloss can dress your face without anything else. Its a cheats way to look like you have done something without doing anything!

pointydog · 06/03/2009 18:24

eat less

good haircut

frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 18:26

I don't go anywhere without a small tin of vaseline. When I am looking particularly in need and have no time, I shove some on my lips and a tiny, tiny, tiny bit on my eyelids and and even tinier bit on the tops of my cheeks. It suddenly makes you look dewy and fresh.

MUST be tiny, tiny bits on the face though or else you can look like a sweaty rapist.

frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 18:26

Are you brave enough to put photos on your profile and let us play with you?

lou33 · 06/03/2009 18:29

heels are good for feeling less frumpy too

lou33 · 06/03/2009 18:29

nutty is a good looking woman imo, btw, just lacking in confidence

frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 18:29

If it helps any then you sound very like me. A mum of 3 who feels frumpy (and I have also put on weight and I'm about the same size as you). Its very hard to have the time to be able to have the inclination at times. I go through spells of giving up. And then I shake myself and I feel fantastic for trying.

TheRealSecretLemonadeDrinker · 06/03/2009 18:33

i would first get a haircut and secondly go and get your eyebrows done - those 2 things alone can make the world of difference, and you can get good haircuts quite cheaply.

Then I would go onto one of the websites like Trinny and Susannah which teach you to dress for your shape - I did this and was amazed to learn I should never wear polonecks which I always did, but Vnecks - when I changed people started to say how much better I looked.

you don't say if you are unhappy with your weight - but if you are, why not think about something like slimming world, where you will get loads of egoboosting from people that also want to look better. My group is really supportive.

lastly, this can be a bit pricey, but worth it to avoid disasters, I got my colours done 2 years ago and although I couldn't afford to replace my whole wardrobe, it is noticeable when I wear the right colours and clothes for me I get lots of positive comments.

good luck!

Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:41

Sorry, I was on the phone to my mum.

Thanks for the compliment Lou, you are right though about the confidence.

Will see if i can find a half decent pic.

OP posts:
frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 18:43

Pics!!!!!!! Excellent We will be gently and kind. Disclaimer: fg has never been seen by anyone and never will

I need to do kid stuff but will pop back later......

BlueCowWonderss · 06/03/2009 18:43

just did a double take - crackernut you are me though I'm not single! I only stop feeling frumpy when I put on a chunky necklace (toddler proof) and polish my shoes, strangely enough! What also helps is a full length mirror, so I can't kid myself that I'm looking OK when I'm clearly not.

Nontoxic · 06/03/2009 18:45

Another vote for having your colours 'done.' like SecretLemmoDrinker I couldn't replace everything at once - but now I don't really have to think about matching with my existing clothes when I buy new ones - everything matches me so nothing really clashes ( within reason.)

Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:48

Ahh I don't have a full length mirror either. I'd probably never leave the house if I did.

I think I have put the pics up now, be kind

I might have to leave getting my colours done until my birthday in June.

Oh, and I must make myself remember that my brothers gf works on a bobby brown counter, and take advantage of that fact lol.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 06/03/2009 18:48

Gosh have had a look at your pics and you are lovely Quit moaning!Get some new clothes maybe a personal shopper or a really close/honest friend.New make up and underwear always works for me but I am 44 so need a lot of help!

Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:51

Thanks Noddy, personal shopper out of my price range but ikwym. I normally go shopping with my mum tbh.

I did buy myself a nice underwear set the other week but took it back because I couldn't see the point when there is only me seeing it lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 18:53

I think i'd like to look a bit more erm girly, NOT flowery though.

I can tell you who's style i like if that helps ?? You know Ghost Whisperer ? I love the style of the girl in that who's name I have completely forgotten.

OP posts:
Nontoxic · 06/03/2009 19:00

A 'nice underwear set' is not as important as a well-fittin bra. Get to a good department store on a weekday (NOT M & S) and have a fitting.

frumpygrumpy · 06/03/2009 19:04

Blimey. Look at your SKIN! Its gorgeous!!! IMHO you would look totally gorgeous in green and red (not together though ) but I am not a colour expert.

Your hair is a lovely colour and looks shiny. Do you change it? I used to always, always wear my hair down. Now I wear it down when I have time to blow dry it well, otherwise I pull up some of it and fasten it in a little knot on the back of my head and chuck in a sparkly clip from Accessorize. It makes me look 'done'. I try to alternate that with low pony tails and that in itself can make me feel different which in turn makes me feel like I know what I am doing

You are beautiful. You really are, and I truly wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it (I would just be polite). Your changes don't need to be so much like a whole wardrobe, more about buying some things that make you feel more confident.

I struggled with confidence for a very long time. (Long story) but lately I have overcome some stuff and for the first time in my entire life have bought two dresses and a skirt. Unheard of. If you can unlock one or two things on the inside, the outside changes too.

Original poster
CrackerNut · 06/03/2009 19:12

Aww thanks Frumpy

People have said that about my skin before but i can't see it tbh. I am forever getting annoyed with my red cheeks lol.

More often that not I leave my hair down, but occasionally I will twist it up with a nice clip. I don't really go to the hairdressers, my mum cuts and colours it for me
I am quite scared of hairdressers tbh.

I think I definatly need to inject a bit of colour as I do tend to wear alot of black and brown.

I always struggle with what to wear on my feet aswell as I can look frumpy in some shoes.,

OP posts:
dexter73 · 06/03/2009 19:15

You are very pretty and your dd too!! (good genes from you!).
I had a bit of an attack of the frumps a couple of years ago and decided to act on it. I went to the shops and tried on loads of things in colours and styles that I would never normally look at just to see what they were like and to get me out of my comfort zone.
It really worked as I found new shapes and colours that really suited me.