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Original poster

Well my "style" seems to be rare... or those of you like me are too shy to say it?

329 replies

velcrobott · 21/03/2005 19:26

In the past few weeks I have posted on topics such as food, Mc Donald and TV....
Now Am I the only one who always cooks from fresh for her kids (because they enjoy the quality of the food and I like cooking), does not go to McD (they wouldn't like it as there is no way I am buying the "gift") and who thinks they have a far better time playing then watching tele.

I was quite surprised to read that several people (and I am sure thousands more) feel it's a treat to feed your kids occasional junk food... what has our society come to??? For those who have the desire, time and interest to not feed junk, allow much/any tele... is it normal that we are considered the odd ones out, the weird ones? It use to be like this (generations ago), it was the norm... now we're called all sorts of things but made to feel that we are too puritanical.

I am sure some of you are going to take this as a controversial thread, it isn't meant like that I want to know if anyone feels like this too.... I feel very lonely on Mumsnet with my more "puritanic" stance

OP posts:
vict17 · 22/03/2005 07:08

Is Pizza Hut really any worse than Pizza Express? Even if you don't take your kids to McD's now they'll soon go after school with mates!!

tigermoth · 22/03/2005 07:08

Easter and all those chocolate eggs must be a testing time for you, Velcrobott - still at least you can get good quality chocolate concoctions, I suppose

How old are your children, by the way? I say this because, although I agree with your food and TV views up to a point (as other people here seem to do) you certainly go a step further than me. I know I was genereally stricter when my oldest son was little but as his abilities, independence and appetite get bigger, things have changed. My oldest son (nearly 11) has a big enough appetite to enjoy lots of healthy food (and he loves good food, and loves cooking it). He happily finishes up his vegetables, ususlly so if he sometimes has a fizzy drink or a packet of crisps, in the grand scheme of things it is IMO pretty insignificant. I watch the food intake of my nearly 6 year old a little more carefully as he hasn't quite got the message yet that fruit and veg are very necessary and as he naturally eats a little less than his brother, anything he eats can have a big impact on the balance of food he has daily. I think age and physical size must be taken into account. If I had a bright blue slush puppy, I am sure I would not start running around uncontrollably and throw a massive tantrum. But if I happened to be a three year old who had only eaten 2 slices of toast all day, well, things might be different!

Also TV watching leading to addictive, constant use of computers and gameboys. Yes, I'm sure it can but I see lots of examples of this not happening. My son and lots of his friends do a bit of of everything. MY son's currrent hobbies are playing cricket and football, cooking and the xbox. And some TV programmes and games - pokemon for instance - are also card games. Part of the whold pokemon thing is playing together and swapping cards, so there lots of social interaction - not always in a good way, but few games or group pastimes, even the good old fashioned swallows and amazons ones, come with a guarantee of harmony, do they? As for exercise, one friend, for instance is a talented football player, in the top local team, plays three times a week come rain or shine, but also likes to relax in front of his Xbox, (playing a FIFA 2005 football game!) and IMO probably needs a bit of a rest after all this activity.

tigermoth · 22/03/2005 07:45

going back to your original message, as you say, generations ago, people did not feed their children junk food - most of it did not exist of course, so it was home cooking or nothing. But was the food of the average family 100 years ago, for instance, really that healthy? were parents very concerned about feeding their children a healthy diet?

Ameriscot2005 · 22/03/2005 07:57

Tigermoth,

I grew up on home-cooked food, but I wouldn't say it was particularly healthy. Lots of sausages, mince, pies, chips, cakes. Veggies were very limited, as you could only really get what was locally produced and in season. Yes, there were some healthy meals, of course, but not as many as my kids have nowadays. Food hygiene wasn't quite up to today's standards either.

I think the emphasis was on filling kids up (hence the stodgy puddings) and somehow by sticking with tradition, we'd get the full range of vitamins and minerals we needed.

It's so easy to be gloomy about life nowadays, but when you truthfully compare it to the past, it's not that bad!

Twiglett · 22/03/2005 08:12

Personally I see it all about balance and not a competitive sport

I see nothing wrong in letting my kids eat junk food, watch TV if it makes us all happy at that particular moment

I see nothing wrong in cooking from scratch and turning off the TV either

I don't intend to stress out about any facet of our lives (although, like every mother I have my guilt pang moments), mainly because that spoils the fun .. and I for one most of the time have a lot of fun with my children

so what if yesterday DS had chips (ingredients potato / sunflower oil) and fishfingers (100% cod) for dinner, for lunch he had hummous, cucumber, raw carrot and peppers .. he watched a DVD yesterday and at least 3 hours of television, he also went to pre-school for 2.5 hours, we went for a long walk and he did an hour long gym class

its all about balance ...

I remember at school there was a girl who wasn't ever allowed sweets or crisps at home, she spent all her breaks in the newsagent (we used to take the mick out of her, pleasantly, for it)

I think children who aren't allowed to experience all facets of modern life grow up slightly weird (I am not talking about anyone here, but about 3 children very close to my heart who are now teenagers and had a 'controlled' childhood .. they are each slightly not totally with it)

SueW · 22/03/2005 08:17

What's healthy about a samosa?

Miaou · 22/03/2005 08:21

What an interesting thread. Dh and I sometimes talk about whether we are too "puritannical", particularly in relation to diet. Dh does all the cooking and loves it, and partly because of that and partly because we are on a low income, we never buy convenience foods. I sometimes wonder whether our kids are seen as "different" to their peers, many of whom seem to have a convenience-based diet supplemented with loads of sweets and fizzy drinks, but they enjoy going to friends' houses and eating "their" food once in a while! As to tv, it goes on when they have finished all their morning chores (on just now ), and in the afternoon if they have finished their homework - both times only if they ask for it on, which they don't always.

We haven't banned tv or junk food because as has already been mentioned, that could lead to an obsession. However we limited it a lot when they were younger, and introduced it gradually as they got older. I'm happy that we've got the balance right for us .

snafu · 22/03/2005 08:22

Very little Sue - samosas 'from the deli counter' are often just the ordinary prepacked samosas unwrapped!

nailpolish · 22/03/2005 08:22

to the original post - yes in times past everything was home cooked, but it was not nearly always healthy. i remember grans, aunties, even my mum giving me pies, cheap fatty cuts of meat (every meal had meat), potatoes yellow with butter, etc etc, now i think its better with organic veg, lots more choice of fruit and veg, which is fresher, better quality meat at better prices, more choice of fresh fish etc etc etc

surely that plus mcd's every once in a blue moon is better????????

Original poster
velcrobott · 22/03/2005 08:26

To answer quickly...
My DS was invited to a party where the food I knew would be horrible... I turned the party down (venue well known for particularely horrible).
At other parties where the food again is less than perfect (and let's face it it usually is - it is regular party food) I will feed my kids a lot BEFORE they go so that they aren's starving and don't crave the food that is offered - interestingly my kids say the food was not nice ! They occasionally eat a friend's house and my friend always comments how they ate so little.... (whilst she knows I say they have large appetite)... when I ask my kids what they had for tea - they invariably complain that it didn't taste nice ! It is always convenienced food (all Waitrose stuff) but mash is from a packet, vegetables are frozen (now I know that is not an evil at all but when you are used to fresh it really tastes different!),... and BTW she makes the vegeatbles for my kids as hers won't eat them.

PE vs Pizza hut - I don't know for a fact but one of my friend's children is "E numbers" sensitive/allergic and he gets VERY ill after pizza hut.

Easter will be green and blacks chocolate + probably some more high street brand from school and I will cringe and let them eat some of it though will hide some.

Tigermoth: My kids are 5 and 3.

OP posts:
Original poster
velcrobott · 22/03/2005 08:29

Twigglett - again it's all about how you approach it. I don't forbid it....
But equally I don't buy any junk as "we" don't enjoy it anyway !!
Of course my kids like sweets.... and they will get some in party bags.... I often remove some but will let them have some.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 22/03/2005 08:32

"My DS was invited to a party where the food I knew would be horrible... I turned the party down (venue well known for particularely horrible). "

I find that really sad for your DS, sorry. Parties are not just about the food, but the social aspects of ebing friends.

nailpolish · 22/03/2005 08:32

velcrobott how old are your kids? do you think they will be like this all through their adolescence? they will be very rare then

WideWebWitch · 22/03/2005 08:34

I think some of this depends on what you consider a 'treat.' I consider something sweet a treat, like chocolate or cake but mostly I'll either make the cakes or buy something like shortbread that isn't full of crap. And chocolate can have some nutritional value. Kids don't need e numbers, fillers, hydrogenated oils, caffeine imo.

Hulababy · 22/03/2005 08:36

But WWW - neither do we as adult in that case. We don't need to have chocolate, wine, sweet treats at all. But, as an adult, I enjoy the odd indulgence. Why should I deprive a child of the same. I'd be a hypocrite to start with.

Mud · 22/03/2005 08:37

what are you going to do when your children either

a) succomb to peer pressure and start eating all the crap, watching all the crap and you can't control them any more?

or

b) don't get what all their peers are on about in terms of pop culture, food, tv programmes and are set apart. I have seen children who just don't get it, and then don't get why the other kids who have these points of reference in their lives are not their friends

you have to find a balance in life, maybe not at the pre-school stage, but as they grow older you will need to let go of some of this control if you want them to be rounded

ggglimpopo · 22/03/2005 08:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster
velcrobott · 22/03/2005 08:40

Hula- it was a party from a child he hardly knew... if it was a friend I would have reconsidered I suspect.
I agree with WWW - the treats can be home made and actually taste better, see I can actually taste artificial sweetners and find it foul !
There are plenty of articles on the health benefits of wine - ask the French ...
and the same is true of chocolate though the darker the better.

OP posts:
snafu · 22/03/2005 08:41

Ummmm...?

WideWebWitch · 22/03/2005 08:42

Mud, while I'm in charge of shopping and cooking my children will eat healthy food. When they're grown up they can do what they like. I don't buy this 'it's a treat to give kids hydrogenated oil, E numbers' stuff, I really don't. And Hula, as an adult I don't have e numbers, fillers, hydrogenated oil! I do set a good example. Chocolate isn't bad, I didn't say it was. And I've said elsewhere I don't care about the odd McMuffin, Cbeebies or the odd portion of chips.

WideWebWitch · 22/03/2005 08:44

See? The processed food industry HAVE convinced a lot of people that the crap they peddle as a cake is a TREAT! Yes, I think a cake is a treat but most of the stuff in the supermarket labelled cake is full of stuff I don't want to eat.

Ameriscot2005 · 22/03/2005 08:45

Oh dear, WWW, is that what you see when you think of non-homemade food? E numbers, hydrogenated oils etc?

Hulababy · 22/03/2005 08:47

Just curious whether those have the more stricter routines - do you manage this whilst working away from the home as well? But the time I get home I don't always feel up to cooking from scratch. I know I am lazy at times, but sometimes I really cant being doing with thehassle when it is 6:30pm, we have all been out all day and DD is hungry. My days off - fine, but on work days I do cheat at times, I'd go mad otherwise.

And belive me - NOONE would want my baking!!!I adore cooking, but I am so rubbish at baking.

SleepyJess · 22/03/2005 08:48

Velcrobott.. I guess most of us are just doing the best we can, sometimes under trying financial/domestic/personal/time restricted circumstances.

WideWebWitch · 22/03/2005 08:48

A homemade cake is flour, butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract maybe. A shop bought one rarely only contains those things!
Article about trans fats here Gotta go, may come back later