Can I DEFINITELY not wear white to a wedding? Even a civil ceremony?

[Pinkjenny]

OK, so the plan to lose a stone failed, and I am stuck on what to wear. The wedding is on Saturday, and although my planned red outfit does fit me, the top is a little on the snug side due to my enormous post-dd norks. I have two options, a flowery Coast dress from a few seasons ago that I've only worn once, or a gorgeous white dress that I love, which is knee length and very summery, not at all wedding-y, from Gap.

I really dislike the bride to be honest, but I'm not going to let that cloud my judgement. Can I definitely not wear the white one? I think she'd think I'd worn it to annoy her.

BTW - couple are dh's friends from Uni - not friends of mine.

Maiden name worked!

YAY you've added me - but I can't access it in work - will accept later. Exotic name, btw.

Wear white because she deserves it, frankly. SHe's a cow. But this is one of those useful lifelessons for halfpeople: just because you get on with your friend (whoever it is) it's not reasonable to expect your partner to get on with your friend's partner, and if you are one of these halfpeople who can't socialise at all without your 'other half' (and whose every social even is like Noah's fucking Ark with everyone two-by-two and anyone who doesn't happen to be 'paired off' either ruthlessly dumped or forced to sit next to any other single person the hosts could find, no matter how smelly or mad) then you will get situations like this.
That last rant not aimed at OP in particular BTW.

Oh, and the 'smaller number at ceremony than at meal' I thought was something most people did. My mates did it the other weekend: the ceremony venue holds a maximum of 20 but they wanted to have a huge wedding party after the ceremony...

I thought that it was usually that you had less in the daytime and then more in the evening. They are having a daytime meal and then an evening reception, but only 20 are actually going to the ceremony. IYSWIM.