Please help - hair so matted after washing I can't get a brush through

[CheerfulBunny]

Please can someone advise? My hair has become steadily more tangled and matted to the extent that after I washed it tonight, I can't get my fingers through it at all. I'm just pulling loads out trying to brush it and now I'm panicking a bit.

I suspected it might be a hard water build up so bought some clarifying shampoo and did a cider vinegar rinse, then used my usual redken shampoo and conditioner. I also bought a filter head for the shower. If anything, it's even worse and even more matted.

The water company where I live has recently advised that the water will be even harder due to the minerals at source. My hair is fine, highlighted and dry anyway and has become wavy and frizzy as I've got older, although it appears straight when dry. It won't hold waves or curls, its too fine and flyaway.

Please, has anyone had this and found a solution? I've got some much broken hair from trying to brush it out and the texture is horrible. My hairdresser is no help, unfortunately.

Rituals has a really thick hair/body oil. Try putting it on for about 15 minutes before using a baby shampoo. Otherwise try using products for African/Caribbean hair which is very delicate and not always suited for our stronger hair.

I had this with my dd recently. Took me an hour and a half over two days to brush it out. In desperation I asked on FB and was recommended clarifying shampoo, hair mask left in for ten minutes and oil afterwards. No keratin and no left-in detangling conditioner.

Two weeks on and I’m amazed. I can basically brush it with one hand rather than holding on to each rope so it didn’t pull. I use the oil as detangler and it’s been so much better.

Palmers coconut oil shampoo and conditioner followed by their leave in conditioner has been a game changer for my fine, easily knotted hair. I used to brush 😰but not any more, just a wide toothed comb and pull the knots apart. You can use the tail of a tail comb to insert into the mats to tease them apart when soaked in conditioner.

This isnt too bad @CheerfulBunny . Get yourself Hello hydration. £2 in sains. Buy Johnson and Johnson's kids detangling spray. Soak it with plain water. Put hello hydration in. Be generous, its only £2! Wait 3-10 mins while having a cuppa (Very important or it wont work). Section it and detangle one section at a time then comb that section from tips with wide tooth comb. After you've combed through rinse off. if parts a still tangled spray J&J kids detangling spray before rinsing (can be after but works magic if conditioner is still in). Make another cuppa or it wont work! Drink. Comb. Rinse. Done. Crown me. You are welcome

I have no idea about the hair, but we got a water softener to deal with the horrid hard water in our area and it’s been brilliant. No idea if you’re in a position to do that but it does fix all the hard water problems.

Redken anti-snap and argon oil.

and shit loads of decent conditioner.

Has it been recently bleached? It sounds like it could have been overprocessed, and would benefit from protein.

You need to use a mask regularly, if my hair was like this I’d be using one every day until it’s condition has improved.

I use L’Oréal Peofessional. I stopped for a while as I couldn’t afford it but had to go back to it after my hair became not to dissimilar to what yours is like now.

Another tip, rub lots of oil in your hair at bedtime to allow it to soak in over night. Also sleeping with a satin bonnet will help you hair not get so knotty overnight.

Agree kerastase is good for repairing hair too.

Do you use a shower comb? I have a wide toothed comb in the shower and I always comb through all conditioner until all tangles are gone and then rinse conditioner out. Dry hair by twisting towel around it rather than rubbing it dry. As you say maybe the issue is hard water and build up but I have found that those “mechanical” tricks really do make a difference!

Have you got a Tangle Teezer brush? They may be designed for kids hair, but I wouldn't be without mine. You just skim the brush over the surface of the tangle, and keep brushing, brushing, brushing - it doesn't dig into the knots or rip your hair out, but the bristles slowly start penetrating and eventually it detangles.

Ongoing, dry with a microfibre towel, use moisturising conditioner and some sort of hair oil on the lengths once towel-dry.

Do you comb the conditioner through your hair before rinsing ? If you do this and then rinse with the shower head from the top and just squeeze through with your towel rather than rub, it should be a lot easier to comb through before drying. Adding some serum to the ends before drying helps too .

My hair went like this after years of highlights. I stopped and it’s much better now. I used a tangle teaser and Aussie leave in conditioner spray. Brush from the ends upwards. I’d stop the highlights snd dry heat. Invest in Aussie shampoo and conditioner and a garnier banana mask. All have helped me and I continue to use them. Use heartless curls or plat damp hair at night.

Oil, lots of it. Soak it in oil olive oil, jojoba, whatever clean oil you have. Then brush from the tips while it's oiled, gently, over a sink. Finish with clarifying shampoo, use it at least twice and massage through hair to the count of 30 both times.

Then gently brush again and add a small amount of a leave in moisturiser/conditioner.

From then, wash three times per week.

Bond treatment shampoo one day per week, wash twice, count to 30, small amount of leave in conditioner afterwards

Standard shampoo one day per week, wash twice, count to 30, small amount of leave in conditioner afterwards.

Oil treatment followed by clarifying shampoo one day per week, wash twice, count to 30, small amount of leave in conditioner afterwards.

My hair is very fine and flyaway and below shoulder length, and I do this, plus layers lift the curls and make it fuller.

I also never dry my hair with heat and I no longer use dye as it is too harsh, I use Scharzkopff wash in wash out, means I have to do it every couple of weeks, but that's fine, and occasionally it starts to show grey, but meh, don't really care.

Leave the conditioner in it.

I always laugh when I see ‘leave in conditioner’ I leave them all in! 😁

@3luckystars
Does it not make your hair sticky or greasy?

If it's too matted to brush then choose a section (heavily oiled/consitioned) and try and gently tease out a hair from it, one at at time. It can take hours but works.

Oh love.

Is there anyone you can ask for support to physically sit and comb through it for you?

I had to do this for my DD last year after she was ill in bed for a week (with a bit of self-neglect thrown in beforehand) - highlighted hair, sweat and general not brushing left her with a huge mat of hair that took us about 3 hours to work through. She sat between my legs on the floor and we binge-watched NCIS to pass the time.

When it gets to this point it's just time and patience that's going to get it sorted. If you were nearby I'd volunteer to help.

Your hairdresser might be more helpful if you offered to pay for her time to comb it out for you, won't be cheap. Please don't go for the chop, it is salvageable, eventually.

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied. I really appreciate your time. Just to clarify - it's not matted until I've washed it and it's wet. Now that I've dried and styled it, it looks fine, quite shiny if a little frizzy towards the ends. I will persevere with treatments and loads of conditioner as suggested. Still slightly baffled though..

I second a hair oil. I use herbal essence argan oil. Put it on wet hair before you brush it. Just run your hands over your hair, you don’t need to try to get your fingers through your hair. I then wait a few mins and use a detangling brush - works a treat! Such a difference.

I use a head jog brush (£7.99 on Amazon) as it was recommended by my hairdresser after seeing me try to brush out my matted hair. Game changer!

I’ve experienced this too the last two times I’ve washed my curly hair. Which area are you in? I wonder if we have the same water. Honestly, the first time it happened my hair has never been so matted…an alarming amount came out!

The secret to using a clarifying shampoo is to follow it with a hydrating one. Never go right from clarifying to conditioner. It leaves the cuticle wide open.

a tip I’ve seen on YouTube is to put a leave-in on dry hair and then brush (this seems to be favoured by Black stylists). They say the hair should be fully detangled before washing as the shampoo sets the mats. They also recommend the Unbrush.

id use an oil spray and detangle with fingers first. Amika the wizard is great and really helps make knots slippy.

I have had this for years and concur with the advice about using a tangle teeze and loads of conditioner in the shower after washing.
I have found that not all conditioners work for getting a brush through my fine curly hair. One that does is Tresemme. It is also cheap, so I use loads.
I oil it when dry, with whatever I have around and use a satin mobcap to sleep in.

For hard water areas clarifying shampoo doesn’t work. That’s for product build up. I’ve started using Malibu c hard water products and so far so good. My hair feels better.
but I think this is different anyway, I’d go with the conditioner method and then plait it to sleep in.

Avoid brushing whilst wet I made this mistake and my hairdresser said it's the worse thing you can do when your hair gets a mat keep wetting it.