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Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

1000 replies

ihaveafavouritecat · 02/10/2026 11:29

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
328
Sulgari · 20/10/2026 18:35

I’m with @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie

Jumpsuit for the wedding

don’t wear brocade anything, in fact don’t bother with a jacket just rock it!

Calliopespa · 20/10/2026 18:56

owlpassport · 20/10/2026 12:04

@ihaveafavouritecat Big no for me. I'm struggling to see how you can read what @Calliopespa and @minnowonthesay posted and land on those options. When I read their posts I visualise something more like:

Forever New belted structured coat in chocolate | ASOS

or

Camel Dorothy Perkins Wrap Double Breasted Belted Wool Look Coat | Dorothy Perkins

Worn open and removed as soon as you get inside. I know what you're saying about being petite and feeling that long coats swamp you, but that's an outdated opinion. A bit oversized is cool and current, and then once removed you have the fitted outfits to show your figure. Personally I also think less is more. With the fairly statement jewellery a matching jacket would be OTT.

I think OP was probably feeling inspired by the little duck's colouring - and in fairness it is a rather beautiful little creature.

I also know what you mean, OP, about looking for jackets that don't swamp. With suits I tend to go for a similar slightly waisted jacket, as I find a straight cut man style jacket just does nothing for me. But as @Ruthietuthie put it, I think "insouciance" is a really good description for the style of the dress and jumpsuit - and you wouldn't even fit all that gorgeous voluminosity of sleeves into the arms of that jacket!

I certainly wouldn't be looking for something to leave on over it. If you wanted to drape a coat over your shoulders, that could work, or go for a loosely cut cosy faux fur. But I'm not too bothered about the coat PROVIDED you ditch it at the door! Neither outfit calls for one, and you will turn it all neat and MOGish again - which would be a bit full circle to some of the patterned dresses.

Ruthietuthie · 20/10/2026 20:17

You can definitely ditch the coat at the door! Totally appropriate! You definitely don't need a jacket as an "addition" to the jumpsuit or dress, just to keep you warm as you walk to the venue, so why not get something you would get years of wear over.
I LOVE a camel coat! I imagine camel would suit your coloring well.
And don't keep that poor 20 year old coat in the back of the wardrobe. Send it to the charity shop where it can go on to have a wonderful second life! Maybe it's just what some other MoG is looking for.
Add in the new bra to the shoes and bag shopping and you will be SET.

Calliopespa · 20/10/2026 20:53

Show us the camel coat op!

IME camel coats fall into two categories: rather lovely winter classics with good movement, or timid little things from the sale rack!

But on balance I think you are going to be able to get away with it op. The technique of shouldering the coat suggested by @minnowonthesay is a good one and often hides a multitude of sins in terms of cut.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/10/2026 22:30

Oh god. At risk of disagreeing with everyone yet again, I really dislike coats draped over shoulders. If it’s cold, put the damn thing on properly. If it’s not cold, take the damn thing off. You’re not bloody Batman.

ihaveafavouritecat · 20/10/2026 23:36

Man I’ve just spent over three hours looking at shoes online. Not been easy as I’m currently in Greece and my phone for reasons best known to itself, keeps directing me to variously German and US websites. Here’s a collection of shoes I liked… there weren’t many… just posting a screenshot rather than links for speed…
Okay, so assuming numbering top left to right:
1 found on Pinterest, nice combination for teal dress in the ‘duck’ colour combination?
2 nice bronze ones from Office that Eleanor found
3 nice olive monsoon velvet shoes that Eleanor found - for the teal dress but I’d need to introduce the olive into the bag colouring
4 Velvet olive shoes current, from House of Bruar, for teal dress or maybe jumpsuit. Again, heel looks v doable for me
5 Gabor on Vinted. Is Gabor ‘wrong?! PP said steer well away I think - but they look v comfy
6 on Vinted, from Boden I think, nice colour combination? Bit like the duck? But not sure about round toes
7 M+S on Vinted. Quite like the look of these - would it be all wrong to have teal shoes with teal dress?
8 Vinted. Love these shoes… but not so keen on the matching bag, the plain part of which looks a bit frumpy. Pity, as I’d probably go for these, if bag was a bit cooler.
9 Bronze shoes from Hudson. Would need to find a bag to bring together the bronze and teal colours, like the duck. Maybe a PP bag suggestion ?
10 nice green velvet on Vinted. Would need to find the green/teal bag.
11 These are Joe Browns, now sold but I really like the shape colour and detail
12 Another nice set on Vinted, lovely raspberry colour . At this point I could consider reverting to the green dress because I’d rather buy burgundy/raspberry accessories then gold, and because they’re easier to find… but feel teal is the right choice if I can nail the accessories.
Any thoughts? 🤔😵‍💫

Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!
OP posts:
ihaveafavouritecat · 20/10/2026 23:49

Let’s not worry about the coat. I’m not worried about the coat anymore. My thinking is I’m not about to spend £200+ on a new coat when it’s only role is going to be thrown - insouciantly of course - around my shoulders or over my arm. I may treat myself to a new, possibly chocolate-y coloured faux fur for 1/4 of said ££s, to serve similar purpose. Mostly what I’ll probably need in NW UK in December will be a serious umbrella. How will little velvet or silk shoes fair in these circumstances? Not well I imagine. 🤷🏼‍♀️
@Calliopespa My old camel coat is back at home and I’m currently in Greece. Happy to share when home. I’ll be curious to see how it looks myself - could just have been eaten by moths who knows?! It was a kind of ‘wrap’ coat, no buttons just a belt, and hip length I think. Not from the sale rack either!

OP posts:
Ruthietuthie · 20/10/2026 23:56
  1. Pinterest ‘duck’ colour combination? - Too fussy with the decorative element.
  2. Simple bronze ones - Would work for both. Best so far.

3 Love the velvet ones with the bow, but don't think olive goes with teal. Would they go with the jumpsuit?

4 Velvet olive shoes - would work with jumpsuit, maybe not with teal (but would work with olive version of dress), but stumpy looking with the heel and the ankle strap. Can make legs look a bit cankly.

5 Gabor on Vinted - Frumpy, a bit dated. Compare to 2 and note how 2 has a more elegant heel, more interesting shape to the vamp.

6 Vinted, from Boden - introduction of pale blue is too random, rounded toe is dated and shortens your leg line.

7 M+S on Vinted. May well work with teal, would need to see.

8 Vinted with matching bag. I find the decorative bit unnecessary and likely to distract from the outfit, plus jumpsuit legs might catch on beads. NEVER match bag and shoe exactly. If it looks like it was bought as a "set" it's a no. (Like matching all your bedroom furniture).

9 Bronze shoes from Hudson. Not too my taste - too heavy at the end of your leg when you have a delicate frame.

10 nice green velvet on Vinted. Velvet looks cheap, too bright a shade of green so would go with neither dress or jumpsuit, rounded toe.

11 Burgundy from Joe Browns - ok, a bit too much with the beads. Would then need a burgundy ( but not matching) bag. Why draw attention to your feet rather than to the dress/jumpsuit and your face?

12 Too bright and light a color.

So, all in all, number 2 would work for both outfits, compliment but not distract from the dress and jumpsuit, and look like a comfortable heel. Importantly, they don't have an ankle strap, which will chop your leg in an awkward place, and don't have a round-toe, which shortens your leg.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 21/10/2026 07:33

Honestly? Re shoes - I’ve said before that I think you’d be bonkers to order shoes from Vinted in a brand you don’t know.

I really think I’d just buy a neutral pair in a brand I trust. You’ll hardly see them with the jumpsuit anyway. Better to have one reliable pair, even if not very exciting, than several pairs of cheap velvet or satin Vinted ones that you don’t even know will fit you.

Calliopespa · 21/10/2026 08:00

ihaveafavouritecat · 20/10/2026 23:49

Let’s not worry about the coat. I’m not worried about the coat anymore. My thinking is I’m not about to spend £200+ on a new coat when it’s only role is going to be thrown - insouciantly of course - around my shoulders or over my arm. I may treat myself to a new, possibly chocolate-y coloured faux fur for 1/4 of said ££s, to serve similar purpose. Mostly what I’ll probably need in NW UK in December will be a serious umbrella. How will little velvet or silk shoes fair in these circumstances? Not well I imagine. 🤷🏼‍♀️
@Calliopespa My old camel coat is back at home and I’m currently in Greece. Happy to share when home. I’ll be curious to see how it looks myself - could just have been eaten by moths who knows?! It was a kind of ‘wrap’ coat, no buttons just a belt, and hip length I think. Not from the sale rack either!

I agree about not spending on a coat for a short walk.

The camel wrap sounds as though it might do the job to me. Wrap works better as they tend to be more roomy through the arms, and have more fabric for your "insouciant" fling of it across your shoulders! So that might work well.

I agree with @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie about shoes from Vinted on the whole. And agree they will hardly be seen with the jumpsuit. I'd go for something comfortable from a brand you can try on, and I'd probably opt for a neutral, without embellishment. Like @EleanorMc67 , I find a dull metallic works wonders at toning with things, though I can understand why you might want to veer away from gold.

Sandunesandseashells · 21/10/2026 16:34

I was also thinking about a wrap or cape, so not to squash sleeves. I know s&b generally doesn’t rate Joe Browns but they have these at reasonable prices.
https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/ellory-faux-fur-wrap-hb690?colour=457
https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/mabel-faux-fur-wrap-hb691?colour=817

Ellory Faux Fur Wrap

https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/ellory-faux-fur-wrap-hb690?colour=457

ihaveafavouritecat · 21/10/2026 16:39

Oh @SandunesandseashellsI rather like the mocha/chocolate coloured one of those! 🙃
… mmm and maybe the green is fab too - but could I wear this colour with teal dress? 🤔

OP posts:
ihaveafavouritecat · 21/10/2026 17:00

Okay, more shoe searching … or should that be sole searching 😵‍💫
How about one of these?
https://www.debenhams.com/product/linzi-izzie-wide-fit-gold-court-heels_p-b3906c51-9c36-4ce6-b6e7-2ebe86f23c9e

https://www.debenhams.com/product/dorothy-perkins-good-for-the-sole-rebecca-faux-leather-block-heel-court-shoes_bqq24292

https://www.debenhams.com/product/paradox-london-tatiana-stiletto-heel-slingback-shoes_p-62d9d159-91b1-483c-b118-4e4aeeedd627

https://www.debenhams.com/product/oasis-val-faux-metallic-leather-pointed-high-block-heel-courts_baa12294

https://www.debenhams.com/product/paradox-london-wide-fit-flynn-mid-block-heel-sling-back-court-shoes_p-186ba704-6196-45af-b729-5b1390577248

https://www.debenhams.com/product/oasis-dora-faux-suede-bow-slingback-medium-stiletto-heeled-court-shoes_baa12985

https://www.debenhams.com/product/kg-kurt-geiger-tilly-jewel-bow-heels_p-8bb301be-017d-45c4-9ad4-bb98b9da9c1f

Am I doing better? If you tell me the Kurt Geiger bow ones are the best, then you’re going to have to help me find them, ‘cos I can’t find them anywhere in a 6. I like them, and there’s a matching bag too 😻

Linzi Izzie Wide Fit Gold Court Heels | Debenhams

Discover Izzie Wide Fit Gold Court Heels available to buy online at debenhams.com. Available with quick delivery and easy return options. Shop now!

https://www.debenhams.com/product/linzi-izzie-wide-fit-gold-court-heels_p-b3906c51-9c36-4ce6-b6e7-2ebe86f23c9e

OP posts:
Ruthietuthie · 21/10/2026 17:50

OK.
Looking at the shoes, and your question about whether the forest green cloak would go with the outfits, I think I see where you are struggling. You aren't thinking in terms of a color palette. So, the lovely colors that suit you generally - olive green, sludgy, rich - are colors within an autumn palette. They really work for you.
When you add a forest green cape (which is a cool, winter color) or, as in the previous set of shoes, a light blue highlight (probably a summer color) it feels at odds, as the colors don't harmonize. It jars.

Many of the shoes in the last link are too bright and light a gold (also a little stumpy). A more matte gold, burnished, rather than bright, would be in harmony.
Of the ones you select, the Paradox (in their less bright gold) is best. You could get away with the Kurt Gieger, although I am not sure you need the bow (and definitely not the matching bag - avoid all matching bags. Very MoG in the year 2000). The beige suede ones are dull.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 21/10/2026 18:37

I hate the green cloak, sorry. It’s giving serious Robin Hood vibes. I’m afraid I don’t like any of the shoes either, but, as I think I said before, I’ve never met a gold shoe that I liked.

ihaveafavouritecat · 21/10/2026 19:02

I don’t really like any of them either @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie ! As I said, I’ve never owned a pair of gold shoes or a gold bag, why would I start now? What am I supposed to put with this teal dress though?! I’ve been told no to jacquard (I liked them), no to ‘witchy’ boots (I like them!), no to leather, no to matching teal (is matching shoes really so bad?), I don’t like gold, I don’t like black, what am I left with? 😵‍💫 I’ve currently got 6 pairs of gold shoes and 7 gold bags in a basket to checkout online, and I don’t like any of them. Rapidly going off the teal dress 😭 I could just about see myself wearing gold accessories with the khaki dress, and potentially the jumpsuit, but I just don’t know what works with the teal. I just feel pretty sure I’m not Gold Bag and Shoe Woman, she’s not me, and I think gold accessories might be moving up there with my dislike of animal print which I’ve never owned or worn either. Sigh. Still, I am at least getting clearer about what I don’t want!

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 21/10/2026 19:11

ihaveafavouritecat · 21/10/2026 19:02

I don’t really like any of them either @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie ! As I said, I’ve never owned a pair of gold shoes or a gold bag, why would I start now? What am I supposed to put with this teal dress though?! I’ve been told no to jacquard (I liked them), no to ‘witchy’ boots (I like them!), no to leather, no to matching teal (is matching shoes really so bad?), I don’t like gold, I don’t like black, what am I left with? 😵‍💫 I’ve currently got 6 pairs of gold shoes and 7 gold bags in a basket to checkout online, and I don’t like any of them. Rapidly going off the teal dress 😭 I could just about see myself wearing gold accessories with the khaki dress, and potentially the jumpsuit, but I just don’t know what works with the teal. I just feel pretty sure I’m not Gold Bag and Shoe Woman, she’s not me, and I think gold accessories might be moving up there with my dislike of animal print which I’ve never owned or worn either. Sigh. Still, I am at least getting clearer about what I don’t want!

I think the problem OP is they are too bright.

I would probably be searching more words like pewter or bronze rather than gold.

I'm sorry I'm a bit caught up with things so don't have time to give an example, but those are what I would call white or yellow golds.

I think the Geigers could maybe work in that the colour is more muted.

Like you I am wondering if the olive dress might be easier to accessorise with things you will want to keep.

I quite liked the brown cape!

Sandunesandseashells · 21/10/2026 19:41

I agree the green cape is the wrong shade but I liked the style better than the other.
The problem with matching teal is that you could end up with a near miss a la Meghan Markle, who mismatched burgundy this week and has been caned for it on socials. Teal can be more / less green and sometimes is petrol instead and I know this because my living room is teal and sand with hammered gold coffee table and plant pots so I’ve had practice!
You can wear gold jewellery with teal because it is a warm shade. Seems like gold shoes are not your thing though.
IIRC EleanorMc67 posted bronze shoes? They would go with the dress and jumpsuit.

EleanorMc67 · 21/10/2026 20:33

Sorry I've been a bit absent - but oh, how I feel for you, OP!

So your latest advice is, to summarise:

  • Do wear a jacket - no, don't bother with a jacket!
  • Wear a coat instead of a jacket - no, don't cover up your dress/jumpsuit!
  • Brocade would tie in colours - no, brocade is a no-go & you'll look like a trad MotG!
  • Fake fur would be perfect for winter - no, fake fur looks cheap (especially leopard)!
  • Gold shoes & bag would work with both - no, bronze is better/brown suede is better!
  • Wear a camel coat - no don't - your soul will die!
  • Wear a short fitted jacket - no, wear an unstructured one!
  • Shoulder-robe your coat - no don't!
  • Buy shoes from Vinted/eBay - don't buy unless you can return!
  • Wear a fur-trimmed cape - avoid a fur-trimmed cape!!

My head is hurting - & I'm not even the one who has to make decisions based on the completely conflicting, very certain-sounding opinions of strangers ...!!

I probably shouldn't even stick my oar in now ... but I can't resist! 😁

owlpassport · 21/10/2026 20:44

I think you just need to pick something @ihaveafavouritecat . I don't personally think the advice has been particularly contradictory but I can see why the multiple options suggested are getting overwhelming. Obviously people are going to have different opinions on this, it's not like there's a right or wrong answer, but I've seen the same advice given again and again on the thread by people who seem to have fairly good taste - brown or dull metallic shoes, fur or wool coat (not cropped and not fitted), don't match your bag and shoes. I think it's now being made more complicated than it needs to be. Can I tell you what shoes my MIL wore to my wedding..? Absolutely not.

One thing though. You have two opposing goals here. One is that you desperately want to look occasion-appropriate. The other is that you desperately want to suit your own style. It seems that you naturally don't gravitate to styles, fabrics or colours that are generally those worn to a wedding, so you either embrace that with confidence, or you compromise and essentially take the advice listed above. Personally I'd say your son's wedding isn't the day to experiment with your personal style if it's not something that comes naturally.

minnowonthesay · 21/10/2026 21:16

What do we know @ihaveafavouritecat?
You do like the teal dress - we all do too
You do like the jumpsuit - we all do too
You do like your Istanbul jewellery - we all do too
You don’t like gold shoes - scrap that idea
You don’t want to buy a coat - I think you do need an option even for going from car to venue
My questions now are -
Are you happy to buy 2 pairs of shoes, one for the dress, one for the jumpsuit? I think they need different shoes
Could you wear a brown faux fur jacket over your shoulders with both outfits? Would it go with the jumpsuit?
When you look at the Me & Em website, the model is wearing black eveningy shoes with the jumpsuit, you must have black evening heels? Wear those with a black evening clutch and black evening jacket just for car to bar.
I’d then wear brown suede heels with the teal dress, a bronze, teal or brown suede bag and then a brown fur jacket over your shoulders for car to venue.

minnowonthesay · 21/10/2026 21:45

Think I prefer this from River Island @EleanorMc67, it’s a bit dressier - what do you think?

Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!
Calliopespa · 21/10/2026 21:55

Personally OP, I'd grab either of those two jackets just listed by @minnowonthesay and @EleanorMc67 . I think the m and s one is actually in stock online still in the medium. Is that too large, given it isn't hugely size specific like a skirt with fitted waist? I think it goes with both outfits, will keep you warm, has a "something special" feel for a wedding yet equally can be used loads for everyday.

Then I'd go for one pair of bronze shoes that have a hint of metallic (only to make the colour easier to match) but which don't "shine" like those brighter golds you were looking at which I think you really don't like. That palette should work with the coat and both outfits.

Do you even need a bag?

EleanorMc67 · 21/10/2026 21:59

minnowonthesay · 21/10/2026 21:45

Think I prefer this from River Island @EleanorMc67, it’s a bit dressier - what do you think?

That does look very nice. There are quite a few out there that look really plush & luxuriant!

I am really particular about the look & feel of fake fur, & hate ones that feel coarse & look dull/wiry. I have a couple of great silky, expensive-looking fake furs. One is a black jacket from Whistles. The other is a leopard-print full-length oversized coat from H&M (bought on eBay). The quality & softness of the fake fur pile in the H&M one is fabulous - it's quite a short pile that's very dense & soft. So I don't think it's always necessary to spend a lot of money/buy from a really expensive brand to get something gorgeous.

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