Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

😂

I do too ... but I know some people find it vulgar/tacky (as evidenced by a recent thread on here!). I loved the snow leopard jacket that M&S brought out last winter. But (though I am normally contrary as hell!!), I'd probably avoid leopard too as MotG ...

I also loved Elle Fanning in her leopard print coat & beret & heels, recently. Very 50s/60s film star-inspired!

I just don’t see why being MoG means one should avoid it - OP doesn’t like it though so it’s a no go.

I think I need a trip to Marks though!

There's probably some strange hidden meaning - like red meaning you've slept with the groom, & green being unlucky, & black cursing the union ... none of which I'd ever heard of until I foolishly read a few wedding guest outfit threads on here ....

Leopard print is probably code for the MotB/G having slept with the milkman. Who knows - it's a crazy world out there at some weddings!!!

I think because it is an important day for a lot of people - bride, groom, MOB etc - and dressing "controversially" can be seen as stealing the show or letting the side down.

I don't personally have an issue with leopard, but it can be seen as anything from tacky to sexual predator - both of which are fine under your own steam, but maybe not the best look when the family is trying to put their best feet forward!

There are lots of threads about what to wear as MOG or MOB because people want to do their best to support and make it a happy day, not a controversial one.

Well, I think it's bollocks.

Sorry to have dropped off the radar. Have been distracted by my travels (what a great city Istanbul is!) together with a couple of days with limited access to WiFi.
This is limiting progress… and you kind folk may well have disappeared to the aid of another waif in need of fashion guidance. When I get home at the weekend I will collect shoe order from M+S, and maybe check out the faux fur jacket. When I can, I’ve done a lot of looking at potential gold shoes and bags… and I’m thinking that maybe I’m not a gold shoes and bag kind of woman… I’ve reached my 60’s and never owned either of those things, so maybe this shouldn’t come as a surprise to me. I may have to rethink this. Maybe it’s some kind of jacquard combination for the teal dress if I can find them, and I dunno, some other thing to go with the jumpsuit!
Thanks again to you all, will update when I can and the wedding (reg office bit of it) is just 6 weeks away - woo hoo!

Maybe go with brown suede shoes? Will work better if you need to wear tights, it’s been freezing here, so you might need to consider it. I think these from M & S are lovely….and the gold River Island bag that @EleanorMc67 linked up thread comes in what looks like teal suede too (might be too light?) Look at the colours of this little duck, nature rarely gets it wrong!

I do think the Zara gold bag might work though, it’s been styled to not be too eveningy!
https://www.zara.com/gb/en/metallic-braided-clutch-p16313710.html?v1=547002069&utm_campaign=productShare&utm_medium=mobile_sharing_iOS&utm_source=red_social_movil

Hi @ihaveafavouritecat i have been following along quietly & think you've found some beautiful clothes!

Accessories are so crucial, they can really make or break the outfits.

I have to say i detest faux fur & particularly in animal print. I just couldn't wear that to a wedding (or at all) & especially not my dcs wedding. The dress & jumpsuit are v elegant, without being stuffy & i think you'd lose that with leopard print or faux fur

@EleanorMc67 shared a stunning teal jacquard jacket & gold accessories & if it were me (& i know its not) i would def be leaning in that direction

I have realised that i often dress with a relatively simple base - as in a single, plain colour, as you have with both dress & jumpsuit, and then i let the accessories do the heavy lifting - a stunning bag or shoes & coat / jacket

Over the dress i'd wear a jacquard or patterned car coat length jacket. I'm 5ft 9" so i also get that we all need to dress for our height etc

Good luck - you will look fabulous whatever you decide because the dress & jumpsuit are so good!

The duck has nailed its ‘outfit’ for sure 🥰

Yes, fear not @WrongWomenanimal print is a hard no from me. Faux fur I’m open to, but it’s more a question of the purpose of the jacket. Do I need a jacket over the dress? Is it sufficient to just wear a fab dress as MOG, for photos etc? If so, then I don’t need a jacket apart from to walk from the car park to the venue, and a little faux fur or something can be removed as soon as I arrive. I think I need clarity on what the MOB is going for. It’s this thing about not wanting to not look right/ not fit in, blah blah. I’m really not this person normally, (as in not usually that bothered about ‘fitting in’, quite the reverse oftentimes), but for this occasion, suddenly I’ve lost my footing and am fretting about getting it wrong. Really I think I’d just like to wear the jumpsuit to the wedding because it’s so beautiful and so me! But I’m not sure it’s ‘right’ for the occasion! 😵‍💫
Anyway, still need bag and shoes, love the duck’s outfit, and am listening to what you’re telling me about the power of the accessories! More research needed 🤔 Short (jacquard) jacket then maybe?Let me get my head back in the game here…

I agree with you OP the jacket isn't needed for long, and whatever jacket you have will be removed on arrival.

I think by getting into long jacquard coats etc, you are moving back toward a trad MOB look, which we all tried quite hard to steer away from.

I think the faux fur has a freshness in the sense it is a very current look, and faux furs are not the tacky things they used to be. There are some very tactile ones out there, and all without using real fur. As the little duck goes to show, nature seldom gets it wrong, and I think there is something intuitively right about fur to stay warm - bearing in mind we now how great faux alternatives. It has a special occasion feel to it that is right for a wedding, but can equally have a modern feel which I think is right for these events.

I personally would be inclined to go for something very obviously modern with your outfits - even sort of bomber jacket style, and leaning toward the dramatic - as I think a more demure fur might drag your outfits back to being a bit like "the fur Granny wore to my own wedding."

For a wedding, I'd draw the line before leopard skin - despite the fact that in reality there is no more gorgeously-attired animal when you see them IRL!

ETA It's a shame the brown M and S fur has gone, as I think that could have worked with suede brown shoes if you are looking at going that way. I'm more hesitant about the cream as I think it is disrupting your colour combos. I think brown works, and in colour could be anything from a gingernut biscuit to a chocolate brownie.

I think I’d be more inclined towards a long camel coat (hard hat on) thrown over your shoulders. You will not get this wrong, be yourself, think of all the times you’ve been somewhere and thought ‘oh I’m not sure about this outfit’ then you arrive and look at everyone and do a huge eye roll!
All I would say is have plenty of options for the actual day, when you’re getting ready, then whatever you don’t choose, take it back after the wedding.
I’d have a couple of shoes, couple of bags, couple of coats/jackets - you’ll pick the right one on the day. We are all going to need a huge FaceTime (with masks on obvs 😂) on the day!

Yes, that could work provided it was a really long, fluid coat.

Sticking anything too structured over these outfits is going to land you right back in MOB territory OP.

That’s great, thanks for your thoughts @Calliopespa @minnowonthesay I think I was feeling a bit confused by recent discussions around jackets when I too was thinking: if I need to find a jacket to match/complement the dress then I might as well go back to square one and look for a two piece outfit - and you guys had roundly told me that that kind of traditional MOB/G outfit was passé and lacking edge. That was where I started, but not where I’ve arrived at, as it were. I feel both the teal dress and the jumpsuit are just too special to be covered up by a jacket other than for a brief moment moving from car park to venue etc. The dress has huge sleeves which will be crushed under a jacket if I wear it for any length of time, and a long jacket I think will just make me look square when the dress fits nicely round my waist area. The jacket that @EleanorMc67 posted recently in a beautiful peacock teal/green colourway is gorgeous, but I don’t feel that shape suits me. As I’m short at 5’3, I think I better suit cropped/fitted jackets, which would also show more of the dress. I found one on a random German website, hard to know the quality and no idea how easy to order to UK, but something like this might work? German jacket
or this with a nod to your suggestions of a bomber style jacket?
shorter jacket
ooh pretty clutch bag Would this enable me to switch up shoe colour? How funny, see that bag is from Istanbul where I’ve just spent the weekend!

@ihaveafavouritecat Big no for me. I'm struggling to see how you can read what @Calliopespa and @minnowonthesay posted and land on those options. When I read their posts I visualise something more like:

Forever New belted structured coat in chocolate | ASOS

or

Camel Dorothy Perkins Wrap Double Breasted Belted Wool Look Coat | Dorothy Perkins

Worn open and removed as soon as you get inside. I know what you're saying about being petite and feeling that long coats swamp you, but that's an outdated opinion. A bit oversized is cool and current, and then once removed you have the fitted outfits to show your figure. Personally I also think less is more. With the fairly statement jewellery a matching jacket would be OTT.

@ihaveafavouritecat I've been lurking on this thread since the beginning! And what a lovely thread it is, just so much gorgeousness and kind and generous advice and watching you blossom. 🌸
I didn't feel any need really to join in because you've definitely got all the best advisors on here. But you've finally pushed me into it with that DIVINE clutch from Etsy. I've no idea what the oracles of S&B are going to say about it, but from me it's a massive yes! 🌟

I would take a big pass on the most recent jackets you've shared. I agree that we are drifting into "Mother of the Groom" territory, plus that they cover the beautiful dress too much.
More than that, this shape of jacket - more fitted - is rather dated now. Note how it is very "neat" when the dress and jumpsuit have a little more volume, a little more waftiness. "Insouciance, warmth and confidence" rather than "neat and tidy small woman."
Honestly, just buy a good, wool coat, for the short distance you'll be outside.

The bag, while nice, is also quite stiff and small, plus it reads green to me (although it has teal) and would, in my eyes, clash. Again, I would get a neutral bag in a dull metallic tone (gold or bronze). Why distract from the beautiful outfits? Plus, again, you could get lots of future wear out of it, rather than the bag matching with one outfit only.

Being "matchy" like this also means that you can only wear the whole ensemble - and when is the next occasion you will want to wear the whole MoG assemble, after the wedding?

I still think the jumpsuit for the wedding itself ... also, think of photographs & the fact that it will be your top half that's looked at. The V-neck works better for photos. Get someone to take a photo of your top half (with some earrings) in each, & see what you think.

That said, either will be lovely! But deciding on which one is for which day would help the coat/jacket/bag/shoes/jewellery discussions!!!

Oh I love Istanbul!!! One of my favourite cities! And the food ...!! Are you coming back laden with rugs, pottery, & half the jewellery contents of the Grand Bazaar ... as we did 😁!!!

I know that others have commented subsequently - but is a soft/dull bronze an alternative to gold, or are metallics out entirely as bag or shoes? There are metallics - & then there are metallics! I don't wear any that are shiny - but I quite often wear dull metallics even in daytime. (My current day bag is a Jigsaw cross-body - for practicality, I don't care if it's not currently "in" - that's a sort of dull burnished leather in between gold & bronze.)

Generally, I would avoid anything that looks as if: the images are AI; the clothes are suspiciously cheap; the fabric content isn't provided; breasts are unnecessarily on show; &/or they're styled like an "off-duty" Page 3 model ...!!!

I think in your panic you're being sucked into dodgy-looking websites, OP. And I think it might be best to avoid Etsy at this stage if you can - not that there aren't some fabulous things on it, but that jacket isn't one of them. Sorry - neither is nice at all & they will (I think I can say this with certainty) be cheap-feeling & looking in the flesh, & devalue the beautiful dress & jumpsuit you bought.

The bag is quite nice, but I'd prefer others.

OP, there are still lots of fake fur jackets this season in high street stores like Zara if you cannot find one online. I really urge you to go that route. You can decide whether to wear it over your shoulders to keep a chill at bay or whether to wear it with your arms in the sleeves, depending on which outfit you are wearing it with.

Do not try to find a long camel coat (I am your height and every long coat looks like a dressing gown on me); it will cover up your beautiful outfits. And none of those brocade jackets work.

100% jumpsuit to the wedding.

I hate the brocade jacket, sorry.

Camel coats make my soul die. They’re so depressing.

You’re so funny @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie
‘camel coats make my soul die’ 🤣
The last camel coat I bought was in about 2007, I still have it but it dates back to an earlier weight loss era… probably too big for me now. It was Ted Baker and I thought I was pretty fancy wearing it at the time. By the sound of things it should stay in the cupboard where it’s been for the last almost 20 years.
Okay, so… shoes and bag still seem to be priorities to sort. I’ve been going back through earlier links kindly shared, and looking on Vinted too. Let me see what I can find for you all to reject challenge …