Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

https://www.mytheresa.com/gb/en/women/max-mara-msepentola-satin-cocktail-dress-green-p01124026?feed_num=P01124026&feed_des=MaxMara&feed_mwg=clothing&dplink=true&pub_name=2936164&chn=aff1&src=cj&cmp=aff_cj_uk&tarea=uk&ptyp=dlg&pub_id=3852549&utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=affiliate_cj_uk&utm_content=3852549&cjevent=178da62dc13811f182b300660a1981fb

I nearly posted this yesterday but wasn’t sure the navy would appeal to OP. It’s lovely.

Thanks all. I’ve been up all night pretty much. I’ve just ordered three different dresses from Florere. Omg my credit card 😳 Nice though, check these out… liking lots of these suggestions too, thank you so much @EleanorMc67 and @Octoberismyfave
teal dress
Burgundy dresshttps://florere.com/products/burgundy-blouson-sleeve-fit-and-flare-midi-dress

khaki dress

This is gold dust thank you @AnorakIndie !! Omg, I will see if I can get an appointment with him ! Due to see my current stylist this Thursday though 😵‍💫
I certainly have edginess in my head and outlook, and always have… but I’m not sure it’s come out in my fashion choices much, although I’ve got a lot more adventurous and interested in clothes since I’ve lost weight… Thank you.

HTH OP and I hope you get an appointment!
I’m wondering if you suit clothes with a bit of structure - not in an 80s shoulder pad way, something more modern. (Actually like the barrel jeans annd leather jacket) And that’s why Kyoto is maybe working in eyes of some, and you keep being disappointed by the flowy dresses?

Thanks @AnorakIndiethis is interesting - clothes with more structure? You might be onto something … Do you mean like the jumpsuit that I shared at the start? Or an outfit with a jacket? I need to understand better what ‘more structure’ looks like?
You might be right though, in that a lot of what’s been suggested to me, and stuff I’ve tried, all looks a bit dressing-gown-y, and it doesn’t feel smart to me. I imagine that I’ll be spending the wedding day, constantly readjusting it, to get all the fabric sitting in the right place. I want an outfit that I just put on and it looks good straightaway and I don’t have to think about it too much. Is that what ‘structure’ does? Does that bring me full circle back to things like the Reiss mocha brown dress, and the Phase eight jumpsuit? Both of them would stay put? …And maybe I do quite like fitted stuff…? When a PP mentioned a while back a ‘cropped Chanel-style jacket’ I love that chic style and I think it’s suits a shorter woman well. Oh bloody hell, I can see all those Florere dresses going straight back if this ‘structure’ idea sticks! 😵‍💫

The brown is fabulous, leopard print hatinator and a bold teal or cerise bag/shoes combo would look stunning.
I wouldn’t bother with a £400 dress for the register office, they are so underwhelming and main photography etc will be at the second ceremony.

Yes - I think that's what @AnorakIndie meant by structure. You're getting the hang of this you know!!! And that's why it's also harder to get right - as it's easy to slip into bad 80s/time stood still/dated very easily (like the Coast jumpsuit pretending to be a jacket & trousers!).

Also harder to get right as you're petite. There are some bits out there in petite ranges - but it is limiting for this particular occasion. So I do think that the services of a good tailor/seamstress might be needed!

I just stumbled across this searching for ‘structured outfits for women’. I wouldn’t order this exact item, (suspiciously cheap, will take three weeks to ship, etc), but it’s a nice shape isn’t it? It has shape and structure in the top half, it’s my fave earthy green colour, it has elements of the Florere dress with that fitted style over the hip. Lots I like about this! nice shaped outfit

Posting a screenshot in case that link doesn’t work…

So that's the green to aim for! I thought the caterpillar Reiss one was pretty close to that! It's much better than the Coast & Gina B ones in terms of colour & shape, though I find it hard to see past the cheap-looking fabric & the fact that it's probably a drop-shipping site ...

Bearing in mind all the ones you've liked in photos & they weren't good on, I wonder if you should take a risk on something that you're not sure about in photos but could work in the flesh ...?!!!

Have you seen this Reiss one? I think it might be just in?

Yes, I think you might find that the new ones that you’ve ordered feel too drapey.

Question:
if you go back and look at yourself in photographs of everything you’ve tried on and try to forget for a moment that this thread exists, which ones speak to you and what do they say? Try to forget about colour/cost and even the actual garments and just try to see YOU again in them. Easier said than done, for sure though.

I really like the Bella Freud one. The Saloni one has a few variants that I really like - but the budget is blown twice over, on one dress!!!

Très jolie!

I've been watching this thread with interest, as I'm 5'2" 8.5st and look to be similar proportions to you, OP. When I was due to be MoG, I didn't have nearly as much patience for shopping as you do and made my own dress in the end.
It may well be frumpy to some, but I made a fit-and-flare dress that ended just under the knee. It's a v-neck and has waist definition and I think that style would suit you. That's why the navy jumpsuit suited you, although I don't think jumpsuits are particularly practical for a long day. I also think that's why the Kyoto dress didn't suit you, as the proportions were all wrong for your frame.
Also, during a wedding there's a lot of standing around, sitting down, standing up again, hugging people, clutching drinks and, if you've got tanked up on champagne like I did, prancing about on the dancefloor, so you need a dress you're going to be comfortable doing all that in.
It may be too old-fashioned for your taste, but have a look at the Seamstress of Bloomsbury website - the Lisa Dress is very similar to the one I made.
Best of luck in your continued search!

I really love the one in the first batch of pics that the JL "stylist" called old fashioned (retro, I'd call it)- it's gorgeous, chic and a bit quirky. The last one that your friends liked is what I'd call old fashioned.
The others are fine but the vinted one stands out a mile.
edited to add that the neckline looks a bit Westwood to me, lovely draping- honestly it's so much nicer than anything else (I want it!)

But do you mean the coral patterned one with the fuller skirt, or the navy & grey one with the bolero? As the photos were in the wrong order. I rather liked the coral one! And thought the colour was great.

Ooh , I’m gonna go and try and do this, thank you! 🙃

This is great @UtilityPlayer, thank you for this. For a minute there I thought you were going to offer to send me your dress! Yes, I think that style would suit me too, would you be happy to share a picture of you in it? Yes I’m hoping to be doing all those things you describe: dancing, hugging, drinking champagne 🥰 Let me check out the site you’ve mentioned too.

You mean this one? I liked the colours too. Most of the feedback I got was that it was hideous 😹
It’s just so weird and I’m annoying myself now really. I don’t need anything like this kind of feedback or help with buying casual wear. But honestly it’s still a complete headf**k (sorry if this offends!) when people say things like ‘you have a petite frame/tiny waist/you need to try the 8, the 10 is too loose’. It’s honestly a bit mind blowing and unreal. So this is a big part of why I don’t know what suits me… and then the other part is because it’s my son’s wedding. If it was just a friend’s party or whatever I’d be fine, one of these things I’ve tried would do just fine. I wouldn’t be going to be in loads of photos for a start! I’m so bloody thankful that I’m not going to be my former very overweight self in the photos, but still I’m struggling with what to wear. Who knew?!

@ihaveafavouritecat, the one you've just reposted (orange, brown, patterned, with the shawl over the shoulders) is DREADFUL. An absolute crime against your beautiful figure.
The v-neck makes the top of your body look scrawny, while the ones you tried with a higher round or slash neck show-case your beautiful shoulder frame. There is too much material over your bust, making it look as if you don't have a bust at all. The shawl? DREADFUL. As if you are a great-grandmother in a fairy tale.
I suppose it depends if Princess Anne is your style icon. If the look you are going for is "pulled this from the back of the wardrobe as it is well-made and fortunately, I now fit things that fit me in the 1980s" then you've found it. Is your dream hair-style Princess Anne's bouffant, always slightly frizzy looking up-do? Is "quirky" the word you would use to describe your style? I imagine you as more current and elegant, with a little edge.

lol @Ruthietuthie I promise you I’m not off to buy it! I was just clarifying with a PP as she said she liked it! I’ve been roundly told that I must never shop with that friend again. 😹

Okay, I’ve just tried to do this @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie
here’s what I’ve clarified:
I like it when the outfit makes me look ‘neat’

neat and chic are words that come to mind when I’m wearing something I like

the Florere dress is beautiful but it’s not neat and therefore not chic, too much fabric I’m swamped in it

simplicity is appealing, knowing I can put the outfit on and not have to think about it,

can’t bear looking shapeless, like I’m wearing a dressing gown

pale colours eg pale pink/pale blue look awful on me

i feel too ‘undressed’ without sleeves

flowery prints are frumpy on me

the red Hobbs dress which I also tried and liked in dark green, is neat and comfortable and fulfils that simplicity criterion, put it on and forget it

brown Reiss dress is a flattering shape, but the colour not alive enough for me

phase Eight jumpsuit a good fit on me, but a bit twee and boring in terms of who I am, and not right for a wedding, no movement in it

I like seeing myself in close fitting things because it’s amazing to see that they look ok, but they’re not appropriate for a wedding, too clingy

Kyoto two piece didn’t feel like me, shape and style completely unfamiliar. It was stiff, I felt swamped

Phase eight monastery outfit horrible and unflattering. Does nothing for my shape.

so key themes going forward could be:
neat, chic, simple, no faffing about required, show off my new shape a bit, (at least top half), needs sleeves, no prints, needs some movement, but less fabric rather than more, no shapeless dressing gowns, colour needs warmth/life, not flat/dull.

Woo hoo! That’s a really helpful summary actually, sorry it’s a bit of a extended brain dump but really useful, thank you again , @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie
I recommend others try this too if struggling!

Looking forward to you reporting back - but stay well away from the shawl monstrosity: the only thing that should be saying to you is RUN! 😂❤️