Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

Sorry, but I don’t like this at all. It looks like something Barbara Cartland might have worn in bed.

I'm going to be blunt about Gina Bacconi, Coast etc (& it probably applies to a few other labels mentioned). They are not stylish, they are (horribly!) dated. I am 59 & there is nothing on either website that I would wear ...

That's not to say that I think you should be wearing something at the cutting edge of fashion - because I don't. You mentioned above about finding something that's classic but not dated - something with a bit of an edge/modernity. Neither of this is it ... (& the Coast one is truly awful)!!

I am, however, a stranger on the internet, & you might look at me in person & think wtf is she wearing ... so that's just my opinion. But please don't order that Coast one ... 😶

Thank you @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie and @EleanorMc67… Yeah I do like that skirt… but I don’t think it’s what I want to wear for the wedding or Reg office. I feel PPs have given me a pretty strong steer away from brown (hence returning the Reiss dress), so it’s probably a no from me thanks. For another occasion with a little fluffy cashmere/angora sweater then yes for sure, would be fab.

Here's me struggling to put it into words - politely - & I should have left it to you! I'm not even sure that Babs would have worn it ...

Oh, I thought it was burgundy. But it is too dark/dull I think. The principle is good though - a great two-piece not necessarily a dress. It's more contemporary.

🤣😭 Omg how am I so adrift from making a good choice?! 😩😵‍💫🙀

The skirt is burgundy but it’s paired with a brown shirt so hard to tell its true colour.

NO - to the pink pleated jumpsuit monstrosity! Anything that is paired with a saucer hat like this and looks like you might be drunkenly teetering around during a day at the races, wearing too much fake tan, is a NO.
The short navy dress has its charms, I can see, but for me, it would be too short. What would you wear on your legs? Black opaque tights? HORRIFYING. Bare legs? Too much flesh and you would freeze to death. Sheer opaques? Hell NO. Colored tights? Primary school art teacher.

As I said before, I think you’ve probably looked at so many things that you’ve gone a bit ‘outfit blind’. Also, at the end of the day, we’re all just random people on the internet and you don’t have to listen to any of us unless you want to. If you decide that the jumpsuit is the thing you love the most, then that’s the right choice for you!

Re-order the olive green dress that needs the sleeves taken up. That's the one. And now STOP LOOKING.

Socks 😁

Well, it might not be the one even in a smaller size, but it's the best option so far. No harm in looking at more options though.

Oh dear… it’s 3am and I’m momentarily feeling a bit despondent. I’ve spent hours looking online, made a whole list of websites and brands that PPs recommended, and I’ve trawled though them all… yet clearly I still haven’t got much of a clue, if tonight’s offers get that kind of response! Thanks though, @EleanorMc67and @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie
you late night creatures like me, for your honest feedback. The search continues tomorrow, the Me+ Em jumpsuit should arrive then. Already anticipating that will be going back though. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@ihaveafavouritecat - I think @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie is right in that it's easy to get visually overloaded. Your figure has changed entirely & you've been having fun dipping your toe into daywear & trying out different shapes & silhouettes. Now you've had a wedding landed on you where you're the MotG & have 8 weeks to find two outfits, so it's understandable to flail & panic!

Also, something seems to happen to even normally stylish & well-dressed women when they are about to be MotB or MotG - & they do weird shit like visit those horrendous MotB boutiques or start to think someone who thinks it's ok to spell his name Kevan Jon is an arbiter of style ...

It's quite normal - but it can be avoided. Just step away from Gina Bacconi & Coast!!!

I think looking for elegant, clean lines is probably the way forward, without frills, flounces or fuss, to just show your fabulous new figure.

Agree about Gina B - very dated.

Where do you usually shop? Might that help you to go back to the drawing board a bit?

In my defence - I was never going to order it in pink… I was considering Fig or Navy! 🙃

I was thinking more about matching separates - as they can often be altered to fit more easily than a dress - & think peplum tops with pencil skirts (or flared skirts or trousers) would work well on you, OP.

I really like this Boden outfit - & it's what I think of as a mid-green that suits a range of colourings - redheads, brunettes & blondes. It isn't overly bright either. What I like too is that the peplum adds a little bit of detail below the waist, whereas some of the other dresses you've tried on are more columnar.

https://www.boden.com/products/women-lace-pencil-skirt-fresh-green-r0946grn?variant=42994529992913&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_campid=21221764987&tc_adgroupid=&tc_targetid=&tc_locphys=9046888&tc_matchid=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21218304686&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLWbCehCgF9diG8CW0x6dne6z9q19TVF7t_IYiFCo0L7nRBJq_SuXhRoCLvgQAvD_BwE

https://www.boden.com/products/women-lace-peplum-top-verdant-green-t2114grn

Annoyingly, both are out of stock in your size currently. But worth signing up for in case they return - or looking for on Vinted/eBay?

Thank you, I hear you. You’re quite right, just the very search term ‘mother of the bride/groom’ leads me to places on the web that I’ve never been before and that are probably entirely the wrong place to look for an outfit that suits me. They’re not places I’d shop for anything else! I’ve never bought anything from Coast, and never heard of Gina Bacconi until I started this thread. I’ll reorder the Florere dress in an 8, and see how that goes. I think it’s gonna need taking up a lot though… I learned today that Florere is part of the Reiss brand, so that’s encouraging… Btw what search terms should I try instead?

I'm not sure there is a specific search that will lead you to what you want - except that it isn't "Mother of the Bride/Groom dress"!!! They're also horrendously & ridiculously overpriced!!!

I've looked for things like burgundy satin midi dress (or green, or navy). Or peplum top & skirt. Or petite velvet trouser suit etc etc. Or silk midi dress. Or lace skirt & top. And various permutations. The kind of thing that I think would look nice on you for a smart event, rather than a wedding per se?

I've just seen this on Zara & really like the colour & details! Great with gold accessories. Definitely order smaller than normal if you like it though.

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/zw-collection-satin-midi-dress-p02241789.html?v1=548714040&v2=2420829

I also really like this Zara one, but you'll be told it looks like a dressing gown ...

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/zw-collection-satin-lace-dress-p05919242.html?v1=555071488&v2=2420829

And this one looks like a really nice warm burgundy instead of flat-looking brown-toned burgundy. Has that Reiss/Victoria Beckham vibe.

https://www.zara.com/uk/en/draped-midi-dress-p07969230.html?v1=545404856&v2=2420829

The Fold sale - satin-finish lace dress. Rather nice ...

https://thefoldlondon.com/product/valencia-lace-dress-indigo/?_gl=1o4qxx_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gbraid=0AAAAADvgiGqhMJmdva_T0TRXBuv4ewXA9

Some of old cards…

https://bellafreud.com/collections/archive-dresses/products/last-tango-dress-lipstick-print-viscose-silk-black-purple?variant=44697976045721

https://bellafreud.com/collections/archive-dresses/products/switch-jumpsuit-velvet-satin-cotton-black?variant=44697977815193

https://theoutnet.com/en-gb/products/jinx-velvet-trimmed-cutout-printed-cady-midi-dress?Apparel+Size=6&Color=Claret

https://saloniworld.com/products/fabienne-b-dress-in-starlight-berry

Hi OP, I have a hair stylist recommendation in Bath - Sam at BA1. He’s a really lovely guy, will take time with you to work out what you want, and is a terrific colourist and cutter. He cut and coloured my hair for many years before he moved to Bath and I was gutted when he left London!
(You wear clothes really well and lots of the dresses look fab on you IMO. I especially liked the kyoto dress and I wonder if you have an edginess lurking somewhere in your style?! Could not agree more tho that feeling yourself is everything.)