Mother of the Groom in 8 weeks!

[ihaveafavouritecat]

Please help me! My son is getting married in 8 weeks and I haven’t a clue what to wear. So far I’ve ordered three dresses online (Coast, Lavish Alice and Florere) and have sent them all back. Earlier this week I had a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, bought 3 items (Hobbs dress, Reiss dress and Phase Eight jumpsuit), but not sure any of them are right. Also ordered a jumpsuit from Me+Em, not yet received. I don’t know if that will be right either, I know it will need shortening about 6 inches!
I’m 5’3, 9st 6, have lost 7 stone over last 3 years. Blue eyes, brown hair/blond highlights. i think the colours that suit me best are greens/golds/sandy but not at all rigid except that pastel colours make me look washed out.
There’s a register office wedding service and then the bigger wedding ‘do’ 3 days later, so I need two outfits! Budget about £400ish for both. I just feel so much of what I’m seeing is so ‘bland’ and ordinary, I want to feel a bit more cool and funky but still smart of course.
Would really appreciate some help or suggestions of makers/brands I’m not aware of… thanks in advance.

Or, if you are drawn to patterns, what about something pretty like this? It's floral, yes, but still contemporary:

OrTHIS. Easy to wear, a color that might suit you as an Autumn, and a bit special.

And my last suggestion for tonight:

https://hopeandivy.co.uk/collections/wedding-guest

The Liberty peacock dress is absolutely stunning

https://hopeandivy.co.uk/collections/wedding-guest/products/the-ludmila

Thanks @Ruthietuthie. What you’re saying here totally resonates with me.
re the ‘Kyoto’ outfit, it’s not so much that I do t feel comfortable in it, I think it’s more that I don’t ’see’ what you’re seeing, it feels strange and unfamiliar, and links with the broader thing about losing weight and not knowing what to wear. I feel I’ve found a casual, day to day style that I’m happy with. I’m loving barrel leg jeans and a navy blue leather biker jacket for example. That feels more ‘me’. But I haven’t found my feet in terms of smart occasion wear because it’s never been a look that I’ve needed very often.

Very much agree re hairdressers too. (Although probably need another S+B thread for this!) I had been seeing the same stylist for 7 years and once I knew about the wedding, I started with a new one in April. I have had three appointments with her and have two more scheduled before the wedding. Feedback I’m getting here suggests I need to try and find someone new fast. I agree though, I don’t want to be the wearer of a boring old woman bob, it’s not who I am at all really! Where is your fab hairdresser?! Can you share an image or two of the kind of hairstyle and colour you’re suggesting? Thank you!

Ohh that is a beautiful dress, and was the first thing I ordered… I loved it in the pictures, loved the colour, loved the details… but it just swamped me I felt… so long, sleeves so full, didn’t think I could carry it off…

Have you seen these yet (different colours, think the first might be more to your style looking at others and the other is pushing your budget and a wildcard)

https://www.whistles.com/product/satin-twist-waist-midi-dress-40540.html

https://www.harveynichols.com/roland-mouret-ld-square-neck-midi-dress-687587#colcode=68758701

The brown Reiss dress is the perfect shape for you - and the colour actually works too. If you want to dress it up - jewellery and a new hair do. The teal jumpsuit is great too. Will you be wearing a hat too?

My goodness, @ihaveafavouritecat, the stylish woman in the navy bomber jacket and the barrel jeans is NOT the person wearing most of these very "1980s Mother of the Bride" outfits! You clearly have found your style in casual wear, and now just need to find it in formal wear.
I wonder (and this is just a guess) if you are somehow choosing options that were in fashion for formal wear when you were last this weight? In your day-to-day clothes you have SO moved on, and our dressing for now (and for the woman you are now) but, as you've had less practice, you just haven't found your stride with formal attire?
I REALLY like the olive green dress but see what you mean about the arm fabric being overwhelming. You know that a good tailor could VERY easily a) shorten the sleeves, which would, simultaneously remove lots of the volume and b) raise the shoulder sleeves so that the excess fabric over your bust would be gone. Then you would be left with the stylish and swishy full skirt.

For the hair, at the moment it is rather too stiff, too much like the hair of a lego character. Instead, ask for an Italian bob, a little choppy, a little tousled, and probably razor cut. I would also look at your color. A warmer mid-tone brown with highlights (if you are using them to blend your grey - they do help avoid a regrowth line) in a caramel tone, near to the base color. Think about what your natural color was before grey, think about whether it's undertone was warm or cool (almost certainly warm, as the olive greens and warm browns suit you so well) and make sure any coloring is in this tonal family.
For something a little safer, have a look at Martha Stewart's recent hair-cuts. Still a bob, but with more volume, more layers, more tousle.

My hair-dresser is John Barrett in New York, unfortunately, so a bit of a flight! John Barrett.

@ihaveafavouritecat I've had a dig but haven't managed to find it in stock elsewhere but they are good at restocking so I would expect it to be back within the 8 weeks. You can also drop them an email to see if they are planning a restock but looks to be a new autumn line so would surprised if it doesn't come back in.

I did find this similar one available in your size though a bit of a different neckline, might be worth a try to see if the colour/style suits you.

https://rarelondon.com/products/olive-fallen-shoulder-burnout-maxi-dress

@ihaveafavouritecat I’d truly avoid sleeveless for a winter wedding. I’d also avoid a jumpsuit. They are just not worn by anyone much.

When you try on a dress, take your shoes with you. The brown dress is pretty good but I noticed your socks! Can you wear shoes so it hangs better?

The phase 8 one is a great disappointment. Great colour, but the proportions are wrong. It’s just too wide at the shoulders. Neat sleeves would have been better. I think the brown one deserves a faux fur and a long pearl necklace - like a channel one. Nothing much wrong with your hair!

I'm sure this dress is by Roksanda. I wore a Roksanda dress to my step sons wedding earlier this year and had so many compliments. I'm the same height as you and a 10 so had it adjusted to fit me, it made so much difference, before that the cape was dragging on the floor! I would recommend looking on vinted for something quality like this and tailoring.

Of the four original dresses, I love the plain red one on you.

Sorry I’ve just seen your reply. I realise this is a lot longer than your hair but if you could grow the length slightly to get away from the helmet look and make it looser.

The pic is under review x

Me too but is but a strappier shoe would be better in my opinion

The brown one is gorgeous but I think it's a bit long - can you have it taken up so it falls mid calf? Some bright accessories with it (shoes and bag) would make it more of a celebration dress.

I also really like the jumpsuit on you but I think it's not quite right for a wedding? I don't like the others sorry.

Well done on the weight loss OP, that’s amazing.

I also thought the brown dress suited you, but it really needed to be accessorised properly. However, I had a look on the Reiss website and I think it comes in green. That could look really lovely with the right shoes and jewellery.

i agree with others that maybe time for a hair update. If it was me, I’d also be making sure I had brows and nails done, and use it as an excuse to treat myself to some new make up. My local space nk has women my age, so they’re really helpful in recommending products and understand that what suits the 20-somethings might not work the same way for me.

I hope you find something you love!

Yes, the shape of the brown is amazing on you OP. A million times better than any of the others.

Hi, I feel your pain - I was MOB last year and took several months to find the right dress; in the end I went for one I saw online in the sale at Monsoon for £40 and was so happy with it. There are no rules - you don't need a jacket or hat just for the sake of having them; you don't need a corsage (me and the mog were of the same opinion on this one). Also, check with the bride about avoiding green - I love your brown dress and that could be good in green if the bride's ok with it; I wore green in a different shade to the green of the bridesmaids and it was fine. Good luck finding a hairdresser - a restyle and colour will really transform your look, but you are going to look amazing - congratulations on the weight loss! I never managed to lose much but felt fabulous on the day once I'd found something that worked for me.

Hi OP I don’t have any fashion advice but I just wanted to say how well you’re doing at taking on board all this advice. Even though some of it is rather direct!

I am just a few years younger than you and I’m also reinventing myself, in my case after a divorce rather than a large weight loss ( though I guess you could say I’ve lost 16 stone of useless man).

Like you, I think I’ve got a reasonably contemporary everyday style - the barrel jeans/trainers/ boots /leather jacket look. But I’d be terrified to have to find formal wear , especially for such an important occasion. I completely understand that you want to look good for your son as well as for yourself.

I've enjoyed looking at all the links here, I think I was very stuck on what middle aged women wore to weddings the last time I attended a few, which was probably 15 years ago! And of course 65 is the new 45 😬

I have one suggestion about your colouring. It does sound like you’re a soft autumn, if you’re drawn to all these sludgy greens, golds, warms reds and blues.

Which definitely means that your hair colour is wrong - it’s far too cool, more suitable for a summer. One thing you can do is take some photos and upload them to ChatGPT and ask it to change your hairstyle and colouring to a a soft autumn.

I think that you are drawn to “ buttery highlights “ because you know that your hair is too cool. But it might be your low light that needs changed , not your highlights. And you might need more contrast rather than thicker highlights . But a good hairdresser will advise. They should be happy to book you in for a consultation first, before you commit to any changes.

As Pp have said , the style needs tweaked. Not a total change, just an update.

You can do the same chat GPT trick with make-up, as that will be off now too. It will either be too cool if it’s ok with your hair or clash with it , if it’s ok with your skin tone.

You don’t need a whole lot of expensive make up, whatever anyone tells you. Just the right colours in any high street brand, like boots / Maybelline / revlon. For me, having the right colour of eyebrows, eye liner and lipstick totally transforms me.

Im a summer and my daughter is a soft autumn . If we try each others lipsticks. it looks horrible, it’s an instant “ oh no thats terrible “. Even with colours that look very similar in the tube. It’s quite startling. My beautiful 20 something DD looks like she’s ill in my colours 😮.

Are your earrings and necklace gold or silver ? Good is usually best for warm season women.

Agreed and also agree that formal wear is difficult

I have been searching for a dress for a New Years Eve wedding and after much searching came across this company.
www.ever-pretty.co.uk I have ordered 2 dresses but not received yet reviews look pretty good and they do returns.