Would you change your style to fit in with a group?

[onesinglepringle]

There's a group of mum friends I've known for about a year and we have recently started going out for meals as a group.

It's really nice, only I sometimes feel like they all have some unwritten communication or something, because they often all turn up wearing similar things!

It's all neutral, geometric patterns, similar hoop earrings etc. I think they are just on some wavelength that I am not (or maybe they follow fashion more than I do).

I tend to just wear colours and prints that I like, which aren't necessarily trendy but feel like "me". But I'm starting to feel like the odd one out. I'm a bit arty/ alternative so although I dress nicely (I think), I don't particularly follow what's on trend etc.

I really like these people though, our children are the same age and I really enjoy their company and chatting over dinner, it's nice to get out and have a nice meal once a month or so!

In my shoes, would you change your style to fit in more?

I'm not talking a complete overhaul but would you wear something a bit more neutral?

Last time I was literally the only one wearing anything colourful in a group of 8 people.... just not sure if I'm overthinking or if they are all secretly thinking WTF is she wearing... 😅

Absolutely not, OP! Neutrals sounds so boring. Be true to yourself and wear whatever makes you happy - who wants to be the same as everyone else anyway!

I would not, no

So, they’re inviting you out still, they’re good fun and don’t leave you out?! I’d say that maybe, just maybe, they like you for you and don’t give a shit what you’re wearing! Perhaps they’re thinking ‘I wish I was confident enough to wear what I like like singlepringle does instead of wearing the same neutral tones and hooped earrings as everyone else’!

No! Why would you? You have your own style

Of course not. If you need to change to fit in, they're not friends.

I love colours too and have never changed what I’m wearing. This isn’t school.

Not unless there was some sensible reason to, eg if you're going places that are more difficult to walk to with the new group, and your usual shoes wouldn't be good for that.
It's not school and you shouldn't change what you wear just to match.

Hmm, I'd love to say, 'Of course I wouldn't, what an outrageous suggestion!' But the truth is, I'm meeting up shortly with a group of people from school who've all ended up living in the same part of the country. We get together a couple of times a year, none of them are the least bit interested in clothes and yes, although I don't change my basic style, I do tone it down a bit because I get enough 'fashionista' jokes from them as it is and, while it's totally unmalicious, it does get a bit tedious sometimes.

I don't do this with my close friends - they just have to put up - but these are people I've known a long time but not particularly well, if that makes sense? (it's not like we were best friends at school, it's more that we've become friendly through circumstance.) It sounds like these 'mum friends' might be a similar situation?

I'm not suggesting you should do the same, op but I do get what you're saying.

If it would make you feel more comfortable then give it a try?

I'm too late to edit but, thinking about it a bit more, it's not so much the 'fashionista' stuff, it's the self deprecating, 'Oh we look so frumpy sitting next to you' jokes that I really cannot stand.

Never.

No, do not change your style

They obviously like you as you are or they wouldn’t invite you!

Nope. I never have.

No! If I like sth particular they wear then possibly for just that style. We all different and have own styles. I can imagine a sense of self pressure to not want to look 'out of place' and felt this when younger but really as long as your image keeps within standards of clean clothes, so what?

No. Remember the girls in school who did this to fit in? One of them once told me how much she liked my outfit, and how she wished she could dress that way. Be yourself, always!

It sounds like they like you as you are
I would not change

No, I'd likely do the opposite, dress to look a bit different from them. I don't mean I'd want to look whacky, just distinct.

I have no idea why you would even be considering this to be honest, everyone is a an adult wear what you want.

No, definitely not.

I think when people dress in a similar (boring) way it’s mainly because they lack confidence and just want to fit in with the crowd and fly under the radar.

I’ve always done my own thing since being a teen and now in my sixties. I’m not going to change my style for anyone. 😂

No because I love wearing colours that suit me and they are red, pink purple bright blue and people tell me I am stylish. I would not wear just neutrals. I always remember reading that dull sluggish colours suit no one and I believe that is true. I am also in my late 60's. I will not change for anyone!

Not in a million

No! Keep being you, you sound great. I'm like you; I love colour. I don't feel like 'me' in neutrals.

No, I wouldn't change my style (or in my case more like lack of style!) to fit in with anyone else. I'm me and I'm happy with the way I look. Your style sounds more fun anyway.

Be your true self.