Turning 50 - what can I do to make myself feel better

[birdsintrees]

I’m fifty soon. Not been feeling great about it but have decided to use it as an excuse to do lots of beauty stuff. I’ve contacted someone to try Botox for the first time. Got some nice oil and cream to try and sort my hands and nails out. My hair is alright at the moment, I have a good hairdresser. Don’t know what else to do really, I’ve never really bothered. Get a make up consultation? I don’t wear it at the moment but maybe something basic? Would love any suggestions to get me to feel a bit better about being fifty years old (why does it feel so much older than 49?!)

Take a lover. It will work wonders. 50s are hands down THE best decade for women.

Botox 30s? 🤔

Get up and outside ( even for 10 minutes ) when you wake up. No screens, coffee etc ... just outside.
Walk away from those who bring nothing to your table. Delete numbers, reduce social media and decline invitations to events that bring you no joy 🤩

Well so far take a lover wins the prize 😀

re health, I have an energy limiting condition and I can’t do high intense. But I do walk and some yoga. Do need to add some weights though.

i think it’s mostly psychological tbh. I just feel strange. Fifty? How did that happen? I was 14 a minute ago.

Also- feed your head! I always read a lot (literature degree) and did evening classes. But I’ve added book groups for an additional social dimension. And I write a blog (should really switch to a Substack) and make an effort to go to lectures/talks and keep exploring my own city(the Old Lady Oyster card helps, thank you Sadiq).

I remember being anxious about turning thirty. Until I discovered my most dazzling acquaintance was thirty two! (We were at Bar School together.) So then I stopped worrying.

Oh dear- hope you get that sorted. (What's a Clegg bite? Will google.)

It's funny how life changes. My parents are grateful they make more zero birthdays! As they say, the alternative isn't great.

50's nothing.

Go to a proper aesthetic practice not a dentist.

I'm wondering why you think dentists aren't trained in aesthetics?
Some dentists have trained in aesthetics too and work in aesthetic clinics.

Dentists are some of the best qualified. They understand the anatomy of the face, the muscles, the arteries, and most of all, infection control.
They don't just do aesthetics based on their dental training.

Am confused about why you need to feel better about turning 50. Seriously. Why?

For my part, my mum died at 50 which when I was younger, thought was really old. And then I got diagnosed with cancer at 48 and was really scared I'd die before her. I also realised that 50 is still young. Was incredibly fortunate, and turning 50 was huge for me. As was 51. It's great!

Also, I had to undergo six months of chemotherapy and felt dreadful about my skin/face for ages. And then I bumped into someone with their own skincare and make-up line who has spent tens of thousands on their face in terms of tweakments. I was shocked at how bad their skin was, both its texture and how the make-up had dried into the lines. It made me realise how good my skin actually is. I've not had botox or filler either, and those who do just look their age albeit with injectables.

If you want to feel better, take up heavy weight lifting. It will transform your posture, build muscle and burn fat. It's the single best thing a woman over 50 can do for herself.

Life is short, enjoy it. It's all about attitude and making the most of the little things and trying to see the best in all things.

Embrace 50, it's great! 💐

Hello @doublec. What do you class as heavy lifting? I am a bit limited with what I can do at home, and I don’t want to take out gym membership that will tail off after a bit. But I do wonder what other home lifters manage with adjustable dumbbells and a bar bell?

But your 50's are so fantastic - well apart from the menopause, or even because :)

You stop giving a FUCK

You speak your truth as you see it and if someone dont like it, they can speak up and then you have the life experience and knowledge to shut them down :)

In my 60's , Im still late 20s :)

@BigSkies2022

I'd probably class anything over 20kg. (Before my diagnosis, I was lifting 90 kilos or so, usually 3 set of 9 reps. The heavier the weights, the fewer reps. When lifting 20-50, it was usually 3 or 5 sets of 15 reps).

Resistance bands are good to use at home, dumbbells too. But, deadlifting using an Olympic or trap bar is my preference and gave me by far the best results when I was trying to lose weight gained during an early menopause.

Definitely fitness. I looked years younger when I toned up. I walked with better posture and energy. Just increase whatever you can.

Who was it ...? I'm curious now! I'm guessing VB ...

I see someone after me recommended that too!

I did say it in jest, but I do love it as a turn of phrase. It sounds like something Isabelle Huppert or Juliette Binoche would do ... but I have a French friend who's just turned 50 - & she definitely has a lover not a partner! She's never looked better ... maybe think of it as an act of self-care 😁!!

I’d be very surprised, not only has she not had tens of thousands spent on her face, clearly, her make up range is fantastic, there is no way thays settling on anyone’s lines,

I don't see this at all. sorry!

The 'not giving a fuck'- means what?
Being rude and tactless?
Not caring what people think?

I'm not being arsey but I genuinely don't know what women mean.

I am way past my 50s and I care very much what people think. I'm not passive by any means but I'm far more measured and thoughtful I think then when I was younger.

I care that I look 'nice' (hence on the style & beauty pages) and like to look vaguely fashionable , I care about my friends and don't want to offend them, I care about the quality of my work...

Perhaps you’re taking the phrase too literally, @PenelopePritstop. Surely what people mean is a dawning realisation that one no longer has to perform an interest in things one isn’t interested in.

It doesn’t mean you have to stop caring about things or people you do care about.

@Floisme Felicitations, wishing you a very happy upcoming birthday 🎁 🎂 !

I always love reading your posts. 🌟

I don't think so.
I see /read this all the time on here that women over 50 don't give a fuck.
I don't know what it means. I don't think it's just abut pretending to be interested in things you aren't.

Giving no fucks (also, ‘No fucks given’ and sometimes, ‘literally no fucks given’ ) is a MN battle cry and badge of honour. Personally, I find it a bit pointlessly confrontational and it reeks of over -compensating (see also, ‘taking someone down’ rather than disagreeing, or even expressing a different viewpoint, or just ignoring). But my view is of no consequence for those busy giving no fucks, and that’s fine.

For me its been finding exercise I love.I joined a yoga studio and go at least 3 times a week, run with a chatty club 5km a week and do Lagree for weights once a week.I wouldn't do this if I didn't enjoy it and it's made me look so much better .Face I use The Ordinary- look on the website.Trinny foundation suits me but go to a counter and get some advice.

I also see it as aggressively performative, and for me always indicates the opposite, as if you don’t literally give a fuck you’d not bother commenting or if you felt the urge to read the thread , try to help the op as she’s requested. But reading it then posting you don’t give a fuck, always makes me think the person is unhappy with their situation so pretends not to care.