How to hate my arms less?

[DaysofHoney]

How do I get over hating my upper arms so much?

I would love love love to wear strapless dresses, but I am paralysed by crippling self consciousness of them. There’s no two ways about it, they are lumpy, flabby, unusually large for my size, untoned bingo wings.

For years and years I have hidden them away. I love a blouse, a midi dress with a sleeve, even a short dress (the legs are fantastic - it’s so weird)… but I cannot do a sleeveless. Even a cap sleeve is a hard no now.

However, I’m 41 now. I think I care a bit less, but then when I try on a strappy dress I freak out.

Has anyone else been here?

Am I destined for a life of 3/4 length sleeves? Pashminas are a hard no.

Yes I know I could try to tone them up, but even as a size 10 marathon runner they are hideous. I hate weights, and I just don’t find they tone easily at all - I have tried!

Is it a case of just doing it? Freeing them, and the confidence will come? Or is it better to accept how I feel, and find great clothes with sleeves?

TIA

Your arms are fine, honeslty, completely no remarkable. I think you are hyper focused.

cant believe someone up thread said 2-4 hours a day, which is bonkers,

I do an upper body weight work out 2-3 times a week, max 30 mins, and my arms are very toned with definition.

I have old stretch marks in exactly these spots @Purplepet

I still get my arms out. Weight training has helped (lifting heavy/progressive overload). I’m never going to love my arms but I’m closer to a level of neutrality now.

I’m not a huge fan of my upper arms but I do find that some styles seem to emphasise them more than others. Funnily enough i find a cap sleeve or anything too ‘gapey’, unless it comes at least half way down the upper arm, draws the eye to them more than a strap does. I like quite floaty, bohemian looking tops with fairly loose sleeves that end mid upper arm or elbow. With strappy tops a wider strap would probably look better?
I can’t do strapless cos I’ve a big bust as well and to be honest it’s probably not the style for you if you’re self conscious. But if you can try to let go of the idea that anyone else cares and wear clothes that emphasise your otherwise slim figure, just for it.
I agree with others about self-tan and lots of self care for that area

TBH your arms look fine but you could -

Stop caring

Exfoliate and moisturise weekly

Do vinyasa yoga and/or pilates

Take up boxing

Your arms are fine. But even if they weren't "fine", what then? Can you follow that thought all the way to the end? This hypothetical version of you has strangely shaped arms. You go outside in a strappy top. What happens next? What is it you are protecting yourself from with cap sleeves?

Your arms are totally normal looking.

Get a bit of fake tan on and start doing planks.

If you just want to focus on your (upper) arms & shoulders, you could start with 15-20 mins a day - be careful tho' it's addictive! DIY or do a Pump class or similar once a week. Your arms should tone up pretty quickly.

I am a size 10 and I have thin flabby arms . I lift four to five times a week . I have a healthy diet but the arms are still flabby
I have a flat stomach , toned legs , but the flabby arms will not shift .
I sometimes find myself obsessing over people’s arms and is the body part that I am
most likely to compliment someone on
I can’t wear sleeveless dresses and have many cropped cardigans, boleros to hide my arms .
I don’t mind if my arms were bigger, I just want them to be more toned
It’s genetics , because my mother has flabby arms too .
Not much I can do about it

Another vote for lifting weights.
Not because it will change the way your arms look (it might, and it might not) but because it can help you to judge your body by what it can do rather than what it looks like.

I like my body a lot more since I shifted to this way of thinking.
My boobs are saggy because they nourished two small humans. My face has some wrinkles because of all the thinking, laughing and going out in the sun that it has done. My legs are chunky because of all the walking they do...

OP, I’ve not RTFT, but looking at your photo, is it lymphoedema?