Is this dress appropriate for a black tie August wedding in the UK?

[mixandmatch]

I’ve just tried this on and it fits brilliantly. But is it black tie appropriate?

One thing I should clarify is that I am 5 ft 4, so this dress is almost to my ankles, it is not ‘midi’ in any sense. It is also very heavy and structured which it makes it feel smarter than the picture looks.

anyway, let me know thoughts! Plus is it nice? Please be very honest!

https://www.freemans.com/products/adrianna-papell-floral-jacquard-midi-dress/_/A-15S740_12?ns_mchannel=pla&ns_source=google&ns_campaign=control-womens-dresses&utm_medium=pla&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=DEP%3AWOM_CAT%3ADRE_THE%3AGen_CHA%3APmx_CFO%3AMx%2BF_ADV%3AFreemans_PLA%3ASA360_INV%3AGoog_OBJ%3AConv&ns_mchannel=pla&ns_source=google&ns_campaign=DEP%3AWOM_CAT%3ADRE_THE%3AGen_CHA%3APmx_CFO%3AMx%2BF_ADV%3AFreemans_PLA%3ASA360_INV%3AGoog_OBJ%3AConv&ns_linkname=20281768709&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20281769669&gbraid=0AAAAADplBR_UyDyA9dVBRyMjoxf9v7Ow6&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2YHY4uXylAMVrJpQBh2ppgX7EAQYASABEgLWbPD_BwE

No, it can mean a cocktail dress.

Good grief, poor OP - she asks for advice about a dress and it turns into a bun fight of one-upmanship. There's no need to argue, start quoting Debretts or belittle people.

OP, the dress is lovely. Everyone will focus on the bride, so don't worry too much. The only time I've known anyone to comment on a guest's outfit was when the groom's sister wore a very over-the-top, Jessica Rabbit-style bright red dress. 18 years on it's still talked about! Did she look stunning? Absolutely, but it caused a lot of unspoken hurt from the bride.

Yes, it is suitable, and it is lovely.

It is black tie appropriate.

Dd is having a black tie wedding ( in the UK) and that dress would definitely be appropriate. Women are wearing cocktail or evening dresses, men are wearing DJs or kilts for the Scots. My dress is ankle length and more of a cocktail dress than a ball dress.

The dress is perfectly fine for a black tie wedding.
I personally would say dinner jacket the same way as I would say morning coat, it’s not necessary to mention the trousers.
Black tie during the day is not really quite the thing, a bit gauche. I’d expect all the men to have to hire.

would love to know what OP thinks of:
a) agree or disagree the dress looks like 'aunty's curtains'?
b) agree or disagree that your selected dress is Black tie appropriate?
c) agree or disagree its okay to ask the bride for dress guidance?
💃

Has it become a thing because so many men no longer have smart suits so saying "black tie" forces men who don't have any suits to hire black tie?. It's probably easier to hire black tie than a lounge suit. They might have to hire, they might not. Men who actually understand the code probably already own formal evening clothes.

I agree black tie during the day is gauche. Black tie is evening wear. The poster getting all hung up about Debretts didn't seem to notice that. Black tie is a dress code - for evening wear. You could just as easily make the dress code "cricket whites" if it's only supposed to refer to the article of clothing rather than when it's appropriate to wear it.

@MagicalgqueenWhy would it be about what you will and will not do? Have you ever heard of pleasing anyone else? How hard is it to get an evening dress?

Black tie is very usual for day weddings now. Up to 50% some photographers say but I assume they are mostly doing very chic weddings. It’s very normal now. Times change. Most men invited to this type of wedding won’t need to hire anything. They will probably already go to formal events such as balls and smart dinners. It’s pretty easy to get a velvet jacket and bow tie from M&S. You certainly don’t need shirt studs and a silk shirt! Or a bib shirt. It’s easy to find a suitable white shirt and standard black trousers if you wear a velvet jacket. M&S also do dinner suits or you can spend a lot more, but it’s not necessary.

I don't think I could deal with the cringe factor of something as tacky as asking people to wear black tie in the day. I would just wear a normal wedding appropriate dress or not go at all if I thought people were genuinely going to look down on people wearing appropriate clothing.

Fucking hell OP - you must be regretting inadvertently starting this one-upmanship parade of arseholery but it’s very entertaining for the rest of us 😂.

The dress looks quite stiff, but if you like the structure of it and it feels comfortable, I’d say it’s perfectly appropriate - although the fact it’s midi and you describe it as ankle length does make me wonder, like other PPs, if it fits you properly? Maybe look at some of the petite ranges of evening wear?

There’ll almost certainly be a mix of nice day dresses and more glam evening wear if it’s black tie, but for the majority of the population who aren’t balls-deep in Debretts and sneery ‘gauche and tacky’ judgements, it just means ‘make a special effort to look nice and dress for a party’. And you’ll have a better time if you’re feeling confident and comfortable, so if you love the dress, go for it.

I don’t dress for anyone else,no. I don’t own or wear dresses so I wouldn’t go, I’m sure they wouldn’t miss me so who cares. Wearing something uncomfortable to please someone else isn’t happening.
But I won’t be invited the a black tie wedding ever, so it doesn’t matter. If I wanted the guest there wouldn't care what they worn which at my own wedding I didn’t my favourite uncle worn his jumper and jeans.

@DappledThings I’m so glad you think my DDs wedding is “cringe”. Sadly you have no idea. As for other comments, I guess these people are likely to remain unknown to us. I’m glad about that! No one who respects my DD would wear jeans.

Who is talking about jeans? We are talking about a very nice, smart and completely wedding suitable dress. It doesn't fit "black tie" as a theme which is fine because it's still a very nice wedding guest dress. And anyone who scoffed at someone for wearing it and not fitting their faux fancy theme is really unpleasant.

The point is that the sort of people who specify black tie for daytime weddings are not the same sort of people who are likely to own a dinner jacket. And definitely not a morning coat. They are not smart weddings.

The point is that the sort of people who specify black tie for daytime weddings are not the same sort of people who are likely to own a dinner jacket. And definitely not a morning coat. They are not smart weddings

Hilariously inaccurate. Everyone at DD's has a DJ- from balls at Uni and the like, most have morning coats too. Times change and tastes change. In our generation everyone had morning dress at weddings- that has not been the case for our children's friends weddings.

Of course it is suitable for a black tie wedding. As a previous contributor said wear it with a beautiful shawl and gorgeous shoes. The fact that you are 5.4 and the dress is down to your ankles ensures it reaches the criteria for long anyway. Have a lovely day in the knowledge that your dress is entirely appropriate and I am sure you will look lovely in it.

It’s a beautiful dress and fits all the requirements. It will be fun teaming accessories with it. We don’t have many opportunities to dress up these days so it is great to have an occasion where we can do just this.

@PinkTonic Morning suits are totally normal. Lots of smart people choose this option. I think DJs are now fairly standard too. As @cathyandclaire says, younger people own DJs and many own or hire morning suits. However I know swathes of society don’t, but dc know who they are and who their friends are! You don’t specify either if you know guests are not going to make the effort or cannot afford it. Where you know it’s the norm in your social group, you are safe to specify DJ or morning suit.

It's a beautiful dress and will look amazing. My only thought would be that if we do have a hot summer (?), you'll be a bit warm in such a well fitted dress.

I think you’ve misunderstood my point. I wasn’t looking for advice on social etiquette.

Black tie doesn't mean you have to have a floor length gown, knee length cocktail dresses are also fine, as is midi length. You can also do looser trouser suits. It's about the vibe - it's elegance, it's gorgeous fabrics like silk.

When people argue with me about the length thing, my sources are a close family member who is high up in the armed forces and has attended many black tie events with another close family member who knows full well what the black tie rules for women are.

See also: Debretts, etiquette and dress code experts Events and Dress Codes • Debretts

All that aside, my personal opinion of the dress you've chosen is that it's really not for me. It's very expensive and for that price I'd want something more special. The drop waist would look aawwwwwful on me so maybe that makes the difference but I'm not a huge fan of the print. That's my taste though, not yours and if you love it, that's good enough. I feel like you asking about it here though suggests you're not altogether sure.