What to wear for afternoon tea at a fancy country house hotel

[Shockednotshocked]

My adult dcs are taking me out for a treat for afternoon tea in a country house hotel and spa, very fancy, does weddings etc

I don't have anything suitable to wear as I have changed sizes recently and usually wear very casual clothes.

I want to feel special with a new outfit including light jacket or cardigan.

Possibly floral or summery but without being twee or mumsy.
I'm size 16-18, 5"9, have a relatively small head and broad shoulders so don't like excess material around my shoulders and neck (small frills are ok).
I get hot easily so prefer short sleeves and cool materials.

I don't even know where to start. Dress? Skirt and top? Can you suggest some outfits or online shops please.

Budget is around £150 all in (I have shoes).
Thank you!

How utterly vile to lie to hurt people.

The first blue one is lovely.

Why do you feel the need to laugh at people if they wear nicer clothes than you? Does it make you feel good to be spiteful?

I'd pity you but you don't deserve pity.

I responded early on to say that I was quite surprised at the casually dressed people at the afternoon tea places we go to, these are £75+ afternoon teas, not cheap and cheerful, in listed buildings with stunning grounds, rivers and wisteria and picturesque bridges, box hedge mazes etc, so we arrived all dressed up and saw people in jeans and trainers, trousers I would describe as slacks and Skechers, sports jackets, fleeces etc, we’ve only been doing it monthly since the start of the year and we’re toning it down now as felt overdressed. I wasn’t saying don’t dress up if you want to, we still turn up looking nice, but just a bit more muted. The first few times we stuck out like sore thumbs and like people who had never been to nice places before and didn’t get the memo that we maybe looked a bit out of place. How much you care about that is totally personal.
It’s still nice to make yourself look presentable, I wasn’t suggesting that anyone turns up in a tracksuit and a stained tshirt!

so we arrived all dressed up.

The first few times we stuck out like sore thumbs and like people who had never been to nice places before and didn’t get the memo

It depends what you were wearing - if it was Phase 8/Hobbs /Roman occasion wear, yes, overdressed.

My choice would probably be a Palava dress. These are everyday dresses in cotton, Tencel or linen.

palava.co/collections/collections-womens-dresses

What a horrible thing to say. If you have nothing better to do than mock others, perhaps you should stay home.

OP, no one is suggesting you go full on Hyacinth Bouquet hat and white gloves, but to me a pretty dress would add to the occasion. I wear jeans, T-shirts, jumpers every day and it’s lovely to feel special. That’s the reason I change when I go out to dinner and I am sure I am not alone. I also like it when DH or grown up DC make a bit of an effort too and I am sure your DD will enjoy it.

The pink whistles jacket is great and can be worn again. A nice tea dress is good, the White Stuff one is pretty.

my best friend who’s a similar size to you goes for joules a lot. There’s a lovely striped dress there but not in your size, this is pretty:-

https://www.joules.com/style/su781575/w70250?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK_EN_Brand_Shopping_Bestseller_All_X_X&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23525989647&gbraid=0AAAAADwbMgOdyvWbc9wXQzP43r_jAYh29&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrZTRBhDSARIsAHidYfdW8cYMEezjIJneeihi6m7k1zk5glPfc3l1u3mRsbZcl7afiFlYeWkaAr-MEALw_wcB

the lighter ones here would go with the pink blazer:-

https://www.joules.com/shop/womens/clothing/dresses/f/style-summerdress?p=1#712

comes in lilac and a light blue too:-

https://www.whistles.com/product/183929.html?gad_campaignid=23542025214&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAABC10nQD4qmpP8w3zMa7ibBKZxSIPS&clickref=1110l43NssaX&app_clickref=1110l43NssaX&utm_source=partnerize&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_campaign=octer

surely it’s less about the brand and more about the actual clothes, I’ve never in my life shopped at phase eight or romans or wherever!
The first time i was in quite a smart reformation dress with lace trim and a decorative collar, the second time i was in a shirt dress from sezane and the third time before changing to less smart I wore a lovely long red patterned dress from queens of archive.
they’re all lovely dresses but just over dressed styles for the occasions. It was fine, I now just go in way less formal clothes and feel more comfortable and will wear my other dresses elsewhere.

this is the striped one, might be in store:-

https://www.joules.com/style/su781588/w70264?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK_EN_Brand_Shopping_Womens_All_X_X&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23525989653&gbraid=0AAAAADwbMgP2DS7ldRziT-vhzLcphxTeT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrZTRBhDSARIsAHidYfd77NaY4JBQrpIivkObM4XulzerAQjPVg0F9Ec3dv193x2KnSCXo_caAlJUEALw_wcB

I would wear either light trousers of personal style preference or long skirt (my favourite option) and a crisp shirt or blouse, classic style but not overly formal, think country casual. Dress wise a cotton 3/4 dress works but not a shiny material, again understated is good. I must admit I’m guilty of having afternoon tea in such places wearing walking trousers, long sleeved t shirt and hiking boots!

I went for afternoon tea yesterday with some friends in a lovely country house type hotel. It had a spa and hosts weddings so sounds similar to where you are going.
I totally agree that dressing up nicely is part of the experience!
I wore a long blue and white dress that I had bought for my Ruby Wedding celebration last weekend. I paired it with a denim jacket.
The other outfits in my party included a red and white spotty dress, smart black trousers, pattered blouse and black jacket and a black dress with a matching jacket with a silver scarf.
The other ladies in the restaurant were wearing a mixed of smart dresses and fitted jackets and floral summer dresses.
I hope you have a wonderful time wherever you decide to wear in the end!

@theresnolimitsEr? Oh aren’t you just holier than thou! Maybe someone wearing sequins and sparkly evening wear should have stayed at home! Sometimes people just look stupid and it’s rarely through underdressing. It’s people who wear evening clothes to day dress occasions who stand out for all the wrong reasons. It’s like at Royal Ascot when women are hobbling along in unsuitable shoes or have a silly hat on. You don’t take them seriously do
you?

The shoes that it's worn with make me feel slightly queasy ...!! (And I'm not one of those people on here who hate/are phobic about toes/others' feet/their own feet ...)

I love wide-leg trousers. Always have. One of my favourite items of clothing as a student was a pair of deep red cotton velvet, high-waisted very wide trousers that I had made for me. Worn with a white flouncy shirt with full sleeves in true New Romantic style! I'm bigger now so prefer them in fluid fabrics like silk & satin.

The skirt itself I can imagine is very nice in reality - & I like that crisp rustly type of (what is essentially sports?) fabric too. But the waist tie looks like trainer laces, so it errs on the casual side. It would be more versatile without the stripy shoelace drawstring!

Could you keep the black top and buy some new cream trousers? Will go with your black shoes too, and look more summery than all black

I agree with you and no idea why @MeetMeOnTheCorner is seeing her arse right now. You’re hardly advising sequins or sparkly evening wear. No idea why some folks get the arse at the mere thought of someone dressing nicely. Like they are getting above themselves or something.

op, wear something lovely. I wear something lovely every day, there are no prizes for looking like you can’t be arsed.

@Firesidechatter Don’t attribute things to me that I didn’t imply! Who is getting above themselves? By wearing the wrong clothes for an event? Really? We notice oddly dressed people. Everyone does!

This would look lovely with black ballet pumps

montleigh.com/products/women-s-polka-dot-midi-dress-sleeveless-v-neck-summer-style?variant=61931528421706&country=GB&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23797346785&gbraid=0AAAABDAhOgfA-zo482NEtZUGmGlKF3X45&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrZTRBhDSARIsAHidYfdOHLY7ZdNceHLK9OKo8n5qidI2fdJnebX16oOp2tNlmTeKa5Dj2DEaAjMWEALw_wcB

That is OTT. Also are you familiar with that brand? Google lens suggests multiple options for that dress including Temu and Ali Express

It’s not OTT for a nice lunch out in a fancy castle 😂

Although I did only have a quick search and will say that something similar but from a more reputable company would be better

@Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim It’s fine! A day dress and perfect.

Is there an M&S near you, op?
go and try on some linen (or linen blend) stuff there

I'd ignore brands and styles everyone is posting and ask yourself some basic questions.

1 Do you want to show all your arms (sleeveless) or have a short, elbow length or full length sleeve? (I hate my upper arms so always want a sleeve.)

2 Do you want a 'fitted waist' with a belt or seam ?

3 Do you want more of a simple A line dress , a shirt dress, or a full skirt?

4 Neckline- V, scoop, higher?

5 Do you want full length (almost maxi) or midi (which is now about 4 inches above the ankle.)

6 Finally, what colours do you like and suit? Dark, pale, floral, stripes etc.

I know people knock it here but there is usually something on Boden if you want plain and not patterned, (you can filter colour, style etc) or as others have said go to J Lewis website and again, filter dresses. There are hundreds. Or even good old Marks.