What to wear for afternoon tea at a fancy country house hotel

[Shockednotshocked]

My adult dcs are taking me out for a treat for afternoon tea in a country house hotel and spa, very fancy, does weddings etc

I don't have anything suitable to wear as I have changed sizes recently and usually wear very casual clothes.

I want to feel special with a new outfit including light jacket or cardigan.

Possibly floral or summery but without being twee or mumsy.
I'm size 16-18, 5"9, have a relatively small head and broad shoulders so don't like excess material around my shoulders and neck (small frills are ok).
I get hot easily so prefer short sleeves and cool materials.

I don't even know where to start. Dress? Skirt and top? Can you suggest some outfits or online shops please.

Budget is around £150 all in (I have shoes).
Thank you!

Wide leg trousers & top?

In your shoes, as you really don’t know where to start, I’d go to the nearest John Lewis or Next or other decent clothes shop and see what catches your eye.

Or we can definitely make suggestions. When you last went out for dinner what did you wear? What’s an outfit you always felt special in?

Just a heads up, we take my mum (sister and I) to fancy afternoon tea as a treat once a month. She has a small appetite and this suits her. We’ve gone to some very fancy places and dressed up (dresses and smart shoes/boots etc) but still the majority of people there also having afternoon tea have been dressed incredibly casually, we feel so out of place amd over dressed a lot of the time! I’ve begun to tone it down, last time I wore a jumpsuit and Birkenstocks, tidy but not dressed up.
Think about what you’re going to get the wear out of, anything else you might be attending and will wear the outfit again. You could also look on Instagram at tagged posts of the location you’re going to to see what people are wearing there now.
and enjoy your afternoon tea!

Also be good to know what the shoes are like. No point us suggesting floaty tiered dresses if you’re planning to wear heavy black Chelsea boots! (Unless that’s your vibe in which case we can!)

Only if you're about 78

Dress to the 9s if you want to

But if you're the type of person who feels self conscious if you're "over-dressed" compared to the crowd you're in; afternoon tea is usually pretty casual. More lazy lunch dress than out for fancy dinner.

You sound very similar build etc to me.

Ive become a fan of a soft blazer these days, I bought exactly this from Whistles but in white. Very wearable. I don’t go for vast wide leg trousers but will do a low key version.

A T-shirt that has done me really well is this cowl necked one from Saint+Sofia. The fabric isn’t that thick so I do tend to wear a camisole underneath, but it’s a good length and the cap sleeves are surprisingly flattering. Tbh the match with the blazer would have been better if I’d bought the blazer in pink, the T-shirt is an unusual slightly fawnish white which is really flattering but doesn’t actually go with that blazer. I have a black velvet blazer I got at a charity shop which looks amazing with it but black velvet isn’t ideal for June!

Not entirely sure what your comment refers to, but please take your ageism elsewhere.

I am certain there was a post suggesting Hobbs or Phase Eight or Jigsaw which is what I though the ageist post was responding to - but that’s vanished.

(It struck a nerve as I’ve FINALLY just got an amazing Phase Eight dress after stalking it for literally two years when I saw a young woman swishing through Charing Cross in it!)

Personally, I'd wear existing trousers and buy a new blouse/jacket. I agree that most afternoon teas I've been too, its more smart casual dressing, rather than formal wear, so I'd wear something you feel comfortable in.

What are the shoes you have? What colours suit you?

It will be very casual. Wide leg linen trousers and a nice top would fit the bill.

I think people forget that getting dressed up in something new is part of the treat, the enjoyment.

so op, buy youself something lovely to wear. I’d say something like these could be lovely

https://www.meandem.com/int/seersucker-maxi-dress-belt-navy

https://www.meandem.com/int/fluid-fit-and-flare-midi-dress-red-caramel

but id wear with smart trainers and keep it casual on the jacket front.

I came on to say a lovely tea dress!

My shoes are black ballet flats from fitflop.

Last time I went out for dinner I wore black wide leg trousers and a black linen top from next, it is plain except for small details like capped sleeves and nice buttons.

So I guess that's my style, simple with nice details.

In torn now between dressing up a bit and smart casual. Smart casual will be easier but

I think people forget that getting dressed up in something new is part of the treat, the enjoyment. @Firesidechatter
Yes this, the fun and novelty. My daughter is going to match me in level of dressing up so we'll be two princesses together if we go for dressed up😅

If Me & Em were my style I would be snapping up the navy seersucker dress linked above. Perfect for a relatively smart but relaxed afternoon. The rest of their sale stock looks worth browsing, too, @Shockednotshocked.

I wouldn’t consider Next or the lower end of the High St while the sales are on - you could get something excellent from better brands with £150 right now.

Not yet on sale but Plumo would be worth a look (if you want something wearable but less workaday than, say, Cos).

https://www.plumo.com/categories/Fashion/Dresses/

Okay so now I'm thinking the black wide legged trousers I already have, will they be okay for day time in June?

I somehow have it in my head I need light coloured trousers or skirt, my younger NDN has swapped her usual all black outfits to all cream and light neutrals and looks amazing!

Love the whistles jacket @PermanentTemporary and dresses @Firesidechatter

I’d swap black for navy …

This co-ord top and trousers would be really versatile all through summer:

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/tops/longsleevetops/product/boat-neck-linen-blouse-navy-1331678001

Fabulous if you have any favourite jewellery or accessories that would benefit from a plain background.

What fabric are the black trousers? IMO if they are cotton or linen they would be fine, though I would pivot away from the black top and go for silver jewellery.

I think moving to navy trousers would have to mean new shoes as well? Not that that’s a bad thing but it’s a lot in one go to buy….

No one cares what colour shoes one wears with navy trousers …

They are heavy jersey, I bought them in winter so yeah, probably not best!

I really appreciate everyone's help, I am nervous as I've been recovering from a long illness and not as confident as I used to be.

I looked up the hotel's tags on IG and weirdly there's no pics of people at the afternoon teas (all weddings) so I'm thinking it's probably more casual than I'm imagining.

I also have this skirt in black that photos don't so justice
https://www.hush-uk.com/aya-technical-pull-on-midi-skirt-black/012693-0456.html

Someone in the reviews described it as "fabric is best described as taffeta like. It's versatile, can be dressed up (sparkly top & heels) or down (hoodies & trainers)"

It is swishy and feels nice to wear, now knowing it doesn't have to be super dressy, would a nice top and jacket with this skirt be suitable?

I think people forget that getting dressed up in something new is part of the treat, the enjoyment.

I love the way every time this question comes up the "oh everyone is so casual" crew pitches in. Are they trying to make out it's so routine for them it's no big deal?

I love afternoon tea and live in a city which has an abundance of venues. The cafés at the Royal Academy and the Portrait Gallery do lovely teas and probably aren't particularly dressed up. On the other hand The Dome, The Balmoral and The Signet Library - yes. The venues are grand and beautiful, so why turn up in jeans and trainers?

That's less dressy than I would wear. Definitely stay away from the Phase 8/ Hobbs/Roman "occasion wear' but don't be put off by the" oh nobody dresses up" crowd.

I knew someone would suggest "wide leg trousers" and there it was-second post - the answer to everything.

The styling of that skirt is pretty awful. I'm not sure what top I'd wear with it but probably red shoes, not black. The material sounds nice. I'm very fond of taffetta and taffetta like.

Hmm yes the styling of that skirt is so casual it’s really hard to tell how it could possibly look smart. If you’re wearing fitflops ballet flats I don’t think that’s going to pull it up tbh. If it is one of those garments that looks amazing on you - I love it when that happens - by all means go for it but I would look for a higher end top.

As for how other people dress for afternoon tea at that hotel, tbh I’d ignore it. Have fun dressing up with your daughter and let the other people feel dowdy tbh.