Is it normal to feel guilty before a planned facelift?

[Stuckoncrossroads]

Hello, my facelift date is approaching, I am starting to wonder if I’ve gone mad to spend so much on an unnecessary vanity procedure where things can go wrong. I never had a facial even.
I always liked my face,even as it aged, it was ‘me’, until my “Ozempic face” started staring back at me, ruining my weight loss achievement highs. I wanted to reward myself for once, after making it through some tough years. Now suddenly it’s not making as much sense as it did when i committed to it 😬😂 - I still intend to go ahead with it, are my feelings of guilt and uncertainty, instead of excitement common?

Any relevant experience or positive thoughts are appreciated . I imagine getting cold feet as the date approaches is common.
( no trying to talk me out of it or advise me to age gracefully, that’s precisely what I’m trying to do ! With a refreshed face ! 😆 )

Hi op.
it’s natural to feel apprehensive about such a big procedure! Don’t feel guilty, you’re doing this for you.
Ive had fillers a few times, people didn’t really understand, but I felt better so am glad I did.
Can I be cheeky and ask how much it’s going to cost and where you having it done?
I might think about it when and if I have the money!

No idea but the insta algorithm is showing me before and after stories daily. There are some amazing transformations out there! It’s not for me (never say never) but some of them are incredible. The best ones, imo, are the ones that just seem to tighten everything up, rather than try to take 20 years off. Good luck. No reason to feel guilty!

I think it’s normal to feel apprehensive before any big surgery. Also, people can be quite judgy about plastic surgery, so maybe that’s where the sense of guilt comes in.

Just remember you have done your research (hopefully) and are doing something positive for yourself.

Also, if you can - try not to obsessively look at your results too soon, as it will take weeks for everything to settle. Those before and after photos are usually months later.

Best of luck, let us know how you get on.

Thank you for your thoughts and good wishes. I am having a deep plane lift ( lifts muscles and deeper tissues rather than just skin, for more natural and long lasting results). I definitely shouldn’t look at myself the first 4 days, during which swelling worsens before it improves, (I must arrange to have all mirrors confiscated😆🫪)- I’ve seen some amazing results, months after terrifying looking day 3-4 ,glad I saw those, so to be prepared.

Sure, ask away, my research led me to Coppergate clinic in York ( I’m in the south east). Deep plane face&neck lift is around £17k.
Many men spend much more on a midlife crisis new flashy car they don’t need. There ! 😆

Ooh. I like York. That’s actually reasonable really.
Do you fancy posting before and after pictures op?

Good luck OP. I have heard it's normal to feel apprehensive and even guilty, before and in the days after. I have heard good things about this clinic.

You're worth every penny.

I'm sure my DH has cumulatively spent a similar amount on his cycling hobby over the course of our marriage. So I won't feel an iota of guilt dropping £17k on a facelift if I decide to have one in a few years' time!

@MyMonthlyNameChange Haha, love this. Thank you for reminding me why I thought investing in feeling good was a great investment in the first place!

It’s all very relative. My ex must have spent about 1/4 this on his parking tickets during our relationship 😆 ( and about that much in interests only for his car finance 😑).

Yes,it’s a reputable clinic with some great surgeons and more reasonable pricing than many. Fingers crossed I’ll still be saying this in a month’s time 😆- then, I’ll be happy to share photos 😊

@StuckoncrossroadsHow old are you if you don’t mind me asking? Do you plan to just stay indoors once done until it completely heals so no one sees the swelling bruising etc?

I’m 59, you are not supposed to do any proper physical activities, gym etc ..for 6 weeks which is going to be a challenge ( anything that makes your face hot/ red, including sun exposure), will spend those weeks within my home / garden, I work from home and hope to get stuck in my long 2026 to-do list,so I can have more free time later in the year . I’m trying not to think much about recovery, it will be one day at a time and soon forgotten hopefully. Different people heal differently and I’m no spring chicken, so not sure what to expect after 6 weeks. Hopefully hair and big glasses will be enough to conceal healing scars 😬

Yeah I was massively embarrassed doing a blepharoplasty, it felt so self indulgent that I didn’t tell anybody at all outside my very trusted husband and kids.

you’ll be glad to hear that the guilt faded along with the bruises, it was a year ago and we all forget I ever went under knife. Enjoy and good luck.

I'm sure it is natural. One feels selfish and vain. I want to have a breast reduction. Part of me argues that it is unnec ssary, ,but on the other hand my boobs are so heavy that they give me shoulder and back strain. They 'grew' again over Xmas 22 ( a hormonal change). I noticed that I was slouching around the house, and thought I must be suffering from depression. Around the same time, I noticed that when I walked down the road that I was gasping and out of breath. I thought 'is this age'? Then I went to Bravissimo to buy some new bras...and the difference in cup size since before lockdown.......

Anyway, tell us how you get on!

Why on earth would you feel guilty. Women spend far too much time feeling guilty in my opinion - I never do.
I've put everyone else first for years, kids, husbands, parents, now I'm putting myself first.
I should be recovering from my face lift right now week 2 but it was cancelled because I'm anaemic so I'm having it later on in the year.
Also ozempic neck after losing 5 and a half stone.
I can't wait.

I have to go back to work 3 weeks after my facelift so everyone will see me looking a right mess, I work in the NHS. I don't care, I'll just tell anyone who asks I've had some "work" done.I'm 64.

Brilliant I think that’s amazing why not, would love to see the results when it’s all over, you will be glad you did if the fillers have come to an end !!

Good luck op, don’t feel guilty. I understand nerves though.

I think the guilt could be related to the risk you're putting yourself at for an elective procedure and how that could affect others around you. Assuming you're having a general anaesthetic, there's a risk there, plus infection etc. I'm not saying it's a big risk, or that you shouldn't do it if you want to, but trying to answer your question.

Hi there - I think it is completely normal to feel this way, and in my experience as a plastic surgeon who does both face lifts and facial reconstruction, it is one of the most common things patients mention before a facelift — often more than any concern about the procedure itself!

A facelift is not a trivial decision and the fact that you have thought carefully about it says a lot. In my experience, patients who felt guilty beforehand are often the ones who, a few months later, say they wish they had done it sooner! Wishing you the very best and hope all goes well

If you're having doubts, cancel, because you can't undo it in the future. You don't want to be stressing unnecessarily.

It will be so worth it. Could I be cheeky and ask how you are paying for it? I'd love one in a few years but it's so much. I always wonder how people afford it: savings, windfall, credit, high earnings, inheritance.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts,it’s good to have somewhere/ someone to talk about this ( without being told off 😆).

Just over 2 weeks to go now .. I’m trying not to think about it, and just preparing for it. It’s one of those things where ultimately you got to make a decision one way or the other, cons/ pros/ risks remain unchanged no matter how much more thinking I do!
@JonathanDunne that’s the plan! I plan to be one of those super delighted with the results and never looking back:) Thank you for sharing your experience and your well wishes. Great to hear first hand from a surgeon’s experience.
@NewDogOwner Savings. It suddenly dawned on me that I am the only one saving. Saving for my DD’s deposit (while she spends every penny she earns on eating out, cocktails, taxis ,luxury gym and zone1 rent 😤🤔🤡😑).
So having saved enough for her deposit, I decided to treat myself for once. Not a new car, my face is the vehicle!

It had better not all end in tears! 😂

Good luck!