Funeral and wake - colour encouraged.

[Ladymuffins]

Hi, I have a funeral and wake (at a pub) coming up and the family are encouraging guests to wear colour to celebrate life. I believe there will be flowers aplenty too, so perhaps something that could be considered for prints etc.? It's my first funeral in England so bit lost.

I'm a size 8/10, 5'4", hourglass shape. Thank you for your suggestions!.

Sorry, my mistake - I thought the spotted dress was navy for some reason and it's way too late to edit. But green is even better, I think.

I think the dress you already have would be fine.

I believe funerals are for paying respects to the deceased, not the family of the deceased, and in my view a request to wear bright colour should be just that - a request. It should be optional and no one should be made to feel shamed for wearing what they deem to be more appropriate and respectful. A funeral is not an event thrown by the family in the same way that other events are. In my view, it would be the height of bad manners to make a bright dress code compulsory rather than optional. If I am attending a funeral I am likely saying goodbye to someone and grieving their loss and would not be ready at that point to celebrate their life by wearing bright colours and I don't think I should be forced to do so.

I went to a funeral where we were asked to wear a pop of orange.

I wore my black funeral dress and some orange heels with an orange flower in my hair.

Good call re outfits. Funerals can be very tense and always sad. Main thing is that one goes along to pay respects and give support.

I went to one funeral where the departed's wife wore an Arsenal shirt. It was a really rather uplifting celebration of his life. Much less sad than one might have expected given that he was taken 'too soon' by cancer. That was floral dress

This is exactly why I said wear a scarf or similar.
Then you are covered for all eventualities

Definitely the way to go. Navy or dark green can work instead of black. I wore navy dress and grey blazer to my brother's funeral, at which I spoke. I didn't want to wear black because he was young. I just went with what felt right

I’d just wear something that isn’t black do you have a floral print top you could wear with a pair of nice trousers?

I wear mainly black , at my friends moms funeral when something colourful was requested i pinned a big colourful silk flower to my top.

When I've been to funerals with a similar request I've observed that nobody goes mad. I mean, nobody wears bright scarlet or yellow. Most people just turn up in their regular day clothes, just not black.

At my dad's funeral we asked people to wear a "splash of red". Most men wore a red tie, my cousin wore red DMs, I wore a red blazer and one man wore a kilt and dyed his beard rainbow colours. Made us all smile and my dad would have chortled.

Most funerals I have been to in recent years, people have generally worn colours, even to the funeral of a C&E vicar, presided over by a bishop.

When I organised a funeral last year, I wanted to wear colour as I felt my family member would want that, but left it to others to wear what they felt comfortable in. Only one person asked beforehand if it was formal or informal and I said informal.

If I wasn't sure, I would wear black trousers and a light coloured top, not bright.

This happened to me! The next time I wore black and took a fushia coloured pashmina that I could put in my bag!

Thank you for all your comments. It's very interesting to see such different approaches to honour the departed.

A friend of mine loves daisies and rainbows and has told me that for her funeral, she wants to see daisies and/or colour on everything and everyone!

When my sister died, I wore a black linen shift dress but also wore a pair of Schiaparelli pink shoes and matching cardigan, it was her favourite colour and I knew she would approve.

I have been to funerals with ‘bright colours’ and ‘pink’ dress codes, both of which I have stuck to. Not everyone did, but there was enough variation that it was fine either way.

Funerals with these requests are not about clothes. What a desperately unpleasant remark.

How fortunate you’ve been to never have attended a child‘s funeral with such a request. Each one I’ve attended has asked us to wear bright colours, or the child’s favourite colour. That anyone would be so mean-spirited as to hear that and imagine that the parents are making the funeral ‘about clothes’ is really shocking to me. Devastated parents have not failed to grasp what their child’s funeral is about.

Depends on who “the family” are.

I had a family member whose bonkers wife decided he loved colour and insisted on it. His parents (he died young) and his siblings knew he’d hate it.

I wore black.

Agreed - that's a deeply unpleasant comment.

I think the colour stipulation is so that guests don't feel they have to go out and buy a black outfit. Many will be wearing black still, it is a funeral after all, but this is -basically- introducing "casual" to the tradition of funerals.
Our family never wear black apart from funerals so the relaxation of the rules in the last couple of decades has been greatly appreciated.

Funerals are for the family or.loved ones that survive who need support, completely disrespectful to go against their request.

If colour isn't your thing then I'd go for a standout accessory, if it's someone you knew something they liked of yours or that always brings them to mind is a nice touch too. (Scarves or cardigans are for the win here as you can discreetly remove or add them if you have a lot of fear about not fitting in).