Funeral and wake - colour encouraged.

[Ladymuffins]

Hi, I have a funeral and wake (at a pub) coming up and the family are encouraging guests to wear colour to celebrate life. I believe there will be flowers aplenty too, so perhaps something that could be considered for prints etc.? It's my first funeral in England so bit lost.

I'm a size 8/10, 5'4", hourglass shape. Thank you for your suggestions!.

I wouldn’t go too mad. I once went to a funeral where everyone was asked to wear colours and I followed the request and everyone else wore black. We went to another one where we were asked to wear red or yellow. The widower wore a red raincoat, one mourner wore a yellow parka. I wore a red and yellow scarf on a black coat. No one else wore colour. I would suggest a dress in one colour.

We have a close family funeral coming up and the requirement is exactly this. I know immediate family really want colour as per the request. I am wearing a pink dress with a green print. I know some will wear black but the family have asked for colour so anything not black, navy or grey will be appreciated.

That is so disrespectful to the family. By wearing black they are basically saying the family's choice is inappropriate.

OP - don't worry about what others are wearing. Just wear something reasonably bright. You could wear dark trousers/skirt and a bright top if you don't have any bright trousers/skirts/dresses. I have red trousers and a cream top I would probably wear. Or else navy trousers and a red top (all my other trousers other than the red ones are dark).

in these circumstances last year I wore a single colour dress in a shade that wasn’t too strong, and a shape that wasnt at all revealing, ankle length, and that worked. I chose pale pink linen but it was in late May.

2 outfits I have for 'wear colour' funeral situations - navy dress, bright scarf and floral linen dress with neutral or navy blazer

Adrienna Papell midi dress For the reasons others have said, it can be tricky but I found this one struck the right note when asked to wear colour - it's now on sale too.

Sorry to derail OP.

I've got such mixed feelings about colour stipulations for weddings/funerals. On one level, yes, I get it, it's their day, they get to choose.

But on another level, I don't need that kind of headache on top of an event. I wear dark colours as standard and definitely all my smart clothes are grey, navy or black. I don't want to go out and buy something bright and smart that I won't wear again.

And i don't like being dictated to add to what colours I should wear. I feel like I'm also being dictated as to how I should feel.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Agree with pp, a solid colour might be easier. Hope it goes as well as it could.

I'm with you re colour stipulations for funerals in particular. I was at a funeral of my DH's family member where it had been stipulated as "no black". But it was just word of mouth. Some people arrived wearing black and were so embarrassed to have not got the memo.

I think it usually means wear a bright item not dress head to toe like a childrens tv presenter
So a scarf or necklace ...

Do you have anything smartish to wear whatever the colour that you could add a scarf, blouse, cardigan etc with in the colour of your choice?

I would imagine people would expect you to wear something you already have but adapt it - eg add a colourful scarf perhaps ?

Personally I feel an expectation that someone should have to buy an entire new outfit for a funeral is wrong.

You could literally wear anything. Loads of colour, black trousers and a bright top, muted colours, whatever you have and like.

Honestly, every time I wear something to a funeral, I never want to wear that item again

On the other hand at a funeral I was at with this request everyone complied. Turning up all in black when the family have specifically asked for colour is really disrespectful.

I’ve been to multiple funerals like this. I tend to wear a dress I already have. I find it easier to be honest I have very little black. Generally the colour chosen was incredibly meaningful to the person who died and I would never entertain ignoring the request.

Same here. I'm not sure I understand some of these posts-do posters really not have clothes in colours? The last one I was at women wore normal summer dresses.

Except the poster I responded to said everyone wore black, not that they wore black with a bright scarf.

a necklace would definitely not cut it unless it was enormous. And a scarf isn’t really in the spirit either. It’s not hard. Most people will have some form of coloured top or trousers. If you only wear black normally, fair enough but that’s not the case for most people.

It certainly meant bright clothes at the ones I've been at. A necklace or scarf would not have cut it.

DH went to a funeral like this and wore a beautiful bright shirt with dark trousers and no one else did at all and he felt very embarrassed. I attended one myself and everyone wore black but maybe a more colourful tie or scarf. I'd go for that to be on the safe side.

I’ve been to two recently and one specifically said no black. People wore conservative but colourful outfits, not much by way of florals but a few prints.

We have had two recently. One, a celebration of life with a request to wear colours and one was my mum's funeral. I normally wear black trousers/ skirts for day to day wear, so for the celebration of life I bought a new top and matching jacket in a colour I liked. The attendees either did something similar to me or wore colourful dresses etc. Ithe widower wore chinos, colourful shirt and slightly mismatched jacket. Anyone in predominantly black would have definitely felt uncomfortable.
For my mum's funeral, we requested something quite specific that she liked if people already had something suitable. Otherwise, we just said we didn't want priority go out and buy something black as my mum hated black clothing and didn't like to waste money, so just wear something they already had. Both my distance I wore colours in patterns that fitted our request. Men were encouraged to wear bright ties. A piece of bright jewellery would have had to be huge to fulfill the brief and in any case, we both wore a piece mum's jewellery.

Thank you everyone. I think muted colours/pastel might be the way to go. The deceased was the sweetest lady, and she liked pinks, mauves, creams...

I don't think the family expect bright colours, but definitely not black if it can be avoided.

This could be a good option perhaps, but not cheap:

https://www.hobbs.com/product/amelia-shirt-dress/0125-5219-9045L00-NAVY-YELLOW.html

This is a dress I already own, not sure about the dots though?

https://ebay.us/m/h3eVHc

IME people still dress fairly soberly for funerals even when they have been asked to wear colours. The spotty dress is perfect. The floral dress- some people might find the yellow a bit too partyish. I think it depends on the tone of the request- if it's "please wear lots of lovely bright colours" then great. If it's just "please wear some colour not all black" then maybe not.

I’d wear an outfit that is fairly smart and not revealing but not plain black eg a dark dress plus colour jacket/cardi/ scarf or a plainer colour dress. I wouldn’t wear anything too short, off the shoulder etc though

ITA with a pp - we wear clothes to express how we feel. I don’t like being told by the close family what to wear and feel. I wear black, because I feel sad; and no amount of wearing colour would make me anything but sad! There’s too much denial of grief in our society, as it is!