Going grey - how to do no more dye? Temp ? Toning?

[Holidaymodeon]

As the title says, I’m going grey after dyeing for the best part of forty years. I started going grey very young, precocious puberty and I’ve been dyeing ever since.
i stopped for a while in lockdown and that was my original cue to stop altogether but I got halfway there and vanity gave in.
i have now decided I don’t have money or time to go through expensive cuts and dyes, the dye affects my hair condition and I actually want to see what happens when it comes through completely.
i just don’t know how to deal with this stage.
I’ve had it cut much shorter and hairdressers says it’s much easier to grow out because I’m curly but I still don’t like this demarcation….

what do people do, what have you done? Is it just a case of grin and bear it?
can I tone it?

Wow, your regrowth looks great! I stopped dyeing mine coming up to two years for reasons of cost, effort and saying eff you to perpetuating the story that young = good and old = bad.

My dye was dark brown and my roots were a mix of white, grey and dark brown but, typically, the grey was brightest in the most noticeable bits. The first few months were the hardest, I used root spray or root powder/eye shadow, but then the demarcation line became less obvious and I stopped caring. My hair is long so I still have another year of grow out but it's shiny and in good condition. I considered toners but realised I was just delaying the inevitable cold turkey and the demarcation line would become more obvious the longer I delayed as more greys sprouted.

I do sometimes miss my dark brown hair, but I wouldn't ever go back. I love that so many people are embracing being grey at a younger age. It's so freeing.

Good luck on your journey, it will definitely get easier and I think your hair looks lovely!

Be wary of some of the things hairdressers call toners as they might still be semis and they are mixing 2 products together. When I was growing out grey at first I had high/lowlights backed by toner. It all lifted and went really brassy and orange. I couldn't understand it as I thought toner was just a rinse but no she said, we mix it with a developer or it wouldn't take. I might as well have been sticking a box dye on and I felt back to square one. I really think hairdressers aren't great at grey and they just want to give us Hollywood hair as that is their business model. I'm honestly better off with Superdrug shampoo in toners for a couple of quid.

Thank you, it does feel kind of freeing, I’m just not very patient.
ex partners have never wanted me to go grey, my previous hairdresser went to a lot of trouble to convince me not to go grey .
i experienced incredible hurt and heartbreak in my last relationship and I spent so much time on feminine grooming in that relationship, and others, but more time than I should have or wanted to and it feels good not to put myself under that kind of pressure anymore and I am genuinely looking forward to seeing the outcome when it is finally all through!

Thank you , yes I am starting to think that some hairdressers have a vested interest in us staying ‘youthful’
my hairdresser is a friend so I don’t think she meant it in a mercenary way but she seemed genuinely horrified by the thought of me giving in

I use (as recommended on here) a semi permanent in cool medium blonde. It hasn’t gone brassy/orange at all, and blends in quite nicely. My hairdresser told me it looked great, and not to bother with expensive highlights. It’s Clairol Natural Instincts and I get it from Amazon. My hair is a similar colour to yours and is also thick and curly.

@TurnipsAndParsnips , do you know which shade you use?

I’m in the same boat as you OP, in terms of the amount grown out and the curls/waves. I mostly think it looks cool if but then I catch a glimpse of myself with joggers on and no makeup and I look like I’ve escaped captivity.

Baby lights and a cool toner really helped my transition from brunette to grey. I feel so good now I’m out the other side as discovered I had a natural silver ‘money piece’ that really lifts my look.

It’s 8A - medium cool blonde. I did wonder if dark blonde might have been better, but I’m quite happy with the way it looks. It fades. So there is no real regrowth.

Thanks!

Wow! Thank you, this sounds like a great plan, I’ll get some and try it

lol 😂 I feel like those pictures tabloids do ‘she was a sex symbol in 1980, look at her now!’
and all the comments talk about time having been unkind 🤣🤣🤣🙈

Ah! We're not allowed to age, are we? We have to remain miraculously young.
I have embraced the grey. Yes, I miss my beautiful chestnut hair, but that has passed. A friend's son said to me "you used to have brown hair, what happened?" - even his grandma has dark hair, so I suppose it's unusual!
It genuinely is extraordinarily freeing and positive, you just need to get rid of the idea that it's a bad thing 🩶

This was also my experience. I have curly greying hair and am really pleased with how mine has turned out - it is a little more coarse now but I do not miss the constant dyeing. I did have a big chunky line and didn't want to cut mine very short, so my hairdresser initially tried a mixture of highlights and lowlights on me but we now just run a few highlights down from the white/silver crown into the warmer half (which is obviously also progressively fading) and I am really happy with how that's worked. The warmer ends just blend in and the line is very indistinct as long as I style it curly (it is much sharper if I try to wear it straight).

I'd been blending mine at the hairdresser for years with a mix of 3 coloured highlights, but it was making my hair like straw. So I thought sod it, and had a very short cut which I've kept as it's so manageable and let the grey grow through. My hair is in such better condition, and super silky again without the colours - it's not natural and not good for hair with repeated use. Be brave, it's worth it.

Dye it grey. That's my plan. Once I have a lot of grey roots I'll dye the lot. I've already got some inspo pics lined up.

They look lovely. I was tempted to dye it grey but all advice seems to be that the non grey would need to be lightened first before dyeing grey and I really want to avoid further lightening as it does turn my hair straw like an I’ve had so much of the straw texture cut off, I don’t want to go back to that.
it looks beautiful though , I’m just not the right hair type!

Yes I tried that - went for grey semi-permanent on stripped hair (all professionally done) but the coloured grey faded out to something brassy so I stopped and covered up the “join” with the grey pigmented conditioner that I mentioned earlier.

I think dyeing it grey needs as much maintenance as any other colour?

You'll still get your natural colour roots coming through after a few weeks.
So condition and maintenance would be the same as using any other dye.

This is true. The colour was absolutely lovely, and definitely got me into the “grey is more than OK” mindset - so I wouldn’t discourage anyone - but ultimately I still had to go through the growing out phase.

I have tried to go grey and im naturally blonde, its hard work!! Got there but doesnt last long.

Although have just thought, try bleach london grey shampoo and conditioner.

I would strongly urge no more block colours, grey or otherwise. Your hair is still naturally a lovely mix of grey and natural colour and that will make for a really beautiful look if you grit your teeth through this intermediate phase!

Try this brand. I had good results with this and im also growing out my grey. The Dark blonde puts s nice gloss on the highlights that ive got left and a bit of a colour on the greys
The Dark Brown takes well but fades quickly to a nice colour on the blonde. It doesn't adhere well to the great but im not bothered about those so much as the mess that the rest of my hair is in. I feel like it ties it all together to ally.
Theyre not damaging and wash out if you dont like them. Definitely use the gloves for the brown though!!

amzn.eu/d/0h9sznaK

Thanks that’s really kind!
I will try, I agree ref block colours , they seem quite dulling as well

Bleach London Toners are nice , I used Instant Coffee sometimes mixed with a lighter shade , but they don't have the longevity of a semi permanent dye .
I use a lighter shade than my natural colour

At the stage you're at, I used root sprays for days/events where it bothered me. I actually found the worst stage about 6-12 months later where i had a very clear dividing line somewhere around my ears. I have curly hair too and didn't want to cut too short because of that.

I stopped dying towards the end of 2019 and Covid was helpful from that POV cause I got to hide out for a chunk of the worst spell! I have found that my hair is in much better condition now and even the hair loss is better than it was when I was dying it. I was 45 when I stopped dying.