Help needed for an inveterate scruff who needs to look presentable for cocktails and a meal out with dh's new boss.

[LongTermLurker]

I'm 50, size 10-12, 5'6". Usually wear kinda frumpy cords and woolly jumpers. Was thinking of the same sort of garments but fancier....like a fancy jumper and, erm...nice cords? Also always wear sensible wide toe shoes like hobibear, and I'm unwilling to wear any heels. So maybe some nice looking comfy shoes?

Would prefer to get stuff on vinted if possible.

Pleeeaaase help 🥺

PPS I think the mention of cocktails is the clue here, they’ll be dressed up, so you need to too or you’ll feel awful. Every time I’ve ever been out with DH bosses and wives, jeans or cords haven’t been worn. Wide leg trousers, small heel, nice blouse or blazer and cami or a dressy dress, not wedding or race day dressy but not work formal either, something floaty in a lighter fabric, think satins, chiffons, silks etc. Whoever suggested M & S was on the money, go to a big stand alone one, start with the wide leg trousers, silk shirt, all Autograph and then maybe a jacket - I’m not averse to the dresses but I’m not sure you’ll wear a dress again. It’s 4am now, so it’s night night time!

I think she may already be employed as a headmistress somewhere ... God help them!!

@EleanorMc67can you be my personal stylist?! Love all your suggestions!

I agree with the previous poster who said cocktails = smart. You will also be sitting down at dinner for most of the night. And talking at cocktails so your outfit from the waist up is the important part not what coat you arrive in and wear for 5 minutes in their company or if your shoes are an exact colour match to your top. You also want to feel like you still but just a smarter version of you.

if you want to wear the velvet jacket you bought, a very simple t shirt style would go / fit under it. Bit of sheen for evening and necklace, earrings, hair of your choice. Someone mentioned getting a blow dry - I think the added confidence that gives can be wonderful.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Crewneck-T-Shirts-Elegant-Blouses-Comofrtable/dp/B0G8H8VZ85?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&th=1&psc=1

If you focus just on tops there are many options on Vinted. It’s easy to filter on colours and brands you like but here’s a few. I even found a sleeveless jumper which looks good simply paired with black trousers.

Do you know where you are going and what the boss’ wife typically wears as that will also give you an idea just how smart to go?

Gosh, this has got unnecessarily complicated. Just buy something from @EleanorMc67 's list. Walk away from the Fairisle jumpers!

I love this. Gathered shoulders are more flattering over the bust.

You've got nice legs.

For someone in your situation i would always advise you steer well clear of separates. Too much decision making, too much faffing around. Too much that can go wrong.

Keep this simple, okay? Go into Zara. Buy a black dress. Pair it with black boots. Wear either an eye-catching necklace or earrings. Done.

You dont need to look interesting or a million dollars you just need to look like you've made an effort and a new black dress always gets the job done. Then you can focus on what will really matter here and thats rhe conversation.

👏 @In2mindsss

The thing is - I remember hippies.

I suspect they’re all wearing The Row now …

(Look, this is the 21st century and no wife should feel compelled to act as an accessory to her husband on a social occasion. But if you’ve agree to go, it seems a bit daft to wear things that might actively have a negative effect. The new boss isn’t inviting you both to this evening because he particularly wants your company as a couple. He or she presumably wants to check out whether as a couple you might be socially useful to the enterprise your husband has just joined - whether that’s NASA, or the RHS, or RAM. ‘Kookie’ really isn’t what you need here.)

The boots will do, but they are quite dated and well worn. If you’re not on a tight budget, and happy to buy something new, then I’d not wear them op.

Embrace your inner hippie! Boho is back

This Zara dress would be ideal, and you could wear it a lot

And don’t wear a woolly jumper or trainers to cocktails. An unstructured velvet blazer or something like the jacket you linked to would work

And the idea that a grown woman needs to check out what her husband’s boss’s wife might be wearing to a simple dinner is … bewildering. The OP isn’t 12, and knows perfectly well what mainstream clothes look like.

This dress is 35 quid and looks easy to wear. Pair with any black boots.
https://www.zara.com/uk/en/knit-dress-with-belt-p03920836.html?v1=503040839&v2=2420904

Like it

Easy and suitable and wearable again. Tho Op says she doesn't like minimalist. I might buy it!

I’m not sure about that, it is very low cut and a bit like a nightie up top. It’s nice, but a lot of wear I think is debatable. If you’ve any boobs at all that dress would be difficult to wear. If I’m brutally honest, I’d not wear that going out to cocktails and dinner with manager and wife it’s too nightie like.

🤷🏼‍♀️ I have massive boobs and that style suits me, but each to their own.

Would you wear a lace blouse? Smart enough for cocktails and semi hippy! They never really date either, so you can bring it out year after year

This is my philosophy in life too.

Flying in with not much on an update. Had a quick look in a couple of charity shops for long wool coats. No luck. I really love that olive green jigsaw one, but I literally never wear "smart" overcoats, so not sure if I can be arsed sourcing one in the right size or coughing up more that £100. Having said that, I've been browsing on vinted and found the attached coats (all good quality wool, I think, and all in the £70-80 range).

This has become quite incomprehensible.

🤨

Has it? I'm looking for a fairly smart coat to wear (on the basis that the velvet jacket doesn't cut the mustard). Are those coats no good?

But what are you going to wear under the coat? 🙄