Help!! my face is melting :(

[GeraniumRoses]

I am 43 and in the last 2 years or so my face has changed quite a bit.
I always looked v young for my age till recently, think maybe as I am ND and often we look younger.

I went to the hairdresser today and the haircut was good but I barely recognised myself- my face looks like it is melting like a candle or something. It had started already but it's reached a different tipping point now.

Is there anyway to reverse this???

I keep getting targeted ads for facial yoga but not sure if it'll make a difference? Has anyone tried this?

I don't think facecreams will work; it isn't the texture of my skin or even the fine lines that is the issue.

It is that my mouth is a rainbow-shape, and i have hollowed bits under my eyes. My jawline is a funny shape now where it goes "out" at the sides after my chin.

I am really unhappy with how I look.

The only other thing aside from the face yoga i can think of is that i went for a b12 shot and the nurse also does botox and she was saying if I got it higher up on my face it would make a difference.

But I don't know anyone who's had botox (or at least told me they get it) so not sure whether what she said was correct.

I have been taking collagen for a year but it has made no difference and today I can see my face has 'slipped' even further than it was a year ago.

Any suggestions very gratefully received thank you in advance!!

Please no "this is normal part of aging" replies l know I am here and fit and well and should be grateful for this, and I am... I just want my face to stop looking so droopy x

Hi OP, I feel your pain - unfortunately there isn’t much that can be done bar surgery to reverse it.

You could try some filler to help pad out your cheeks a bit, but really you’re just fighting a losing battle against facial fat loss and gravity. Collagen is probably beneficial to your skin, but it’s not going to stop the sag unfortunately.

I have researched loads of alternatives like ultherapy, threads, microcurrent devices etc. but have come to the conclusion that even if they do work the effect is only temporary so it’s a waste of money.

I do lots to improve my skin (sunscreen, tretinoin) but the reality is that at some point it’s not enough.

I’m 42 this year, and saving for a facelift in the next 5-10 years. I haven’t even started peri menopause, so who knows whether that will wreak havoc on my face also.

Obviously surgery is not the right choice for everyone, but personally I’m not going down without a fight.

Honestly, I think you are better to increase your protein intake in your diet than take collagen. No matter how much they claim they are 'natural'. None of them really are.

Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise. And SPF. You can't reverse aging, but moisturising like a maniac will give you the best chance of keeping your skin in great condition.

Thanks for your replies.

I must admit I never used moisturiser much but will start this.

Don't look in the hairdresser mirrors is my advice. I age 300 years in them. Why the lighting is so bad I don't know but it does me no favours at all!

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky I think the melty candle look is definitely related to my peri menopause starting as last year or so my cycle has been all over the place, grey hairs have totally taken over large sections of my head and I have had broken bones when before I had never had a fracture and I have now had three.

Could I ask what did you find regarding a thread face-lift? I have thought about this

Was told there is no point in using filler especially round my mouth (which is the part I hate, it literally looks like a cartoon sad face / rainbow shape) cos it'll be fighting with gravity all the time.

I am so miserable!!

Do you know where you'll be getting your face-lift? I might start saving too x

Haha yes not sure why they are so brutal but all hairdressers seem to have these types of mirrors

Oh you sound like me OP, I have always looked young and the last year or so I have lost a parent and aged about 20 years. It's so bad every time I look in the mirror I think to myself "dear god I've never looked this bad" and then the next day I look even worse 😅😭 I don't think I'll do anything about it apart from moan on here and to my friends.

People saving for facelifts? Good grief. Save instead for therapy to address why you feel so terrible about your appearance
Ageing is tough as we’re all conditioned to think younger is better. It really isn’t but you’ve got to get to grips with your worth not being dependent on the tightness of your face. Good luck!

And for transparency I have had Botox in my forehead and I feel extremely torn about it

If you’re in peri, look at hrt. My mental health has improved since going on it & my skin is nice, hopefully it’s protecting my bones as I have osteopenia.
Also eat some chocolate! Not only will you feel happy when you eat it, you may also gain weight which will make your face look younger. Lol. No I’m being serious- fear of looking gaunt is one of the reasons I’m not rushing to diet.

Why torn?? I wouldn’t do a facelift but tempted by Botox

Get your thyroid tested- that happened to me before I was diagnosed. On meds now and my face looks like it used to again!

I feel the same about my face. My skin isn’t really the issue (or at least not the main issue). It’s something about the structure of my face that’s changed.
It bothers me. It’s odd to look in the mirror and not really look myself.
Mine started with bereavement but I think perimenopause might also be to blame.
I haven’t tried anything for it yet. I would consider Botox and I’d also consider a facelift. I don’t like the idea of fillers as I believe they migrate under the skin and can cause problems over time.

So interesting you say you think ND people look younger. I’ve noticed this too. Not all obvs but there is a bit of a correlation

Really? What!?

I believe it is due to ND people using different facial muscles more or less so we age better differently 😁

It might be to do with mannerisms too; even if masking they aren't gonna be the same as an NT person's. I remember working with teens in my late 20's and getting told I needed to stop acting so young as it didn't inspire confidence

I used to get id'ed well into my early 30's. I know a autistic guy who's 40 but could easily pass for early 20's. Not be bragging just saying I really did look young so it feels like I have aged from about 28 to mid-40's overnight 😭

I find it all really interesting though

Am sorry for your loss xxx

I went through a horrible separation/ divorce a few years ago; i dunno if it has accelerated my aging or something.

This is exactly what i mean though- it is the structure that has changed.

I think i might just bite the bullet and get a face-lift. I really don't recognise myself, same as you x

Ah thank you - i had full range of bloods done recently and my thyroid is fine. Glad that things have improved for you x

I'm turning 40 soon have also noticed a change in my facial structure, I have also always looked young , I think this is because I have a heart shaped face and big eyes with a large forehead, and as I’m aging my jowls are starting to form a bit and my skin looks different. I had Botox around my laughter lines and forehead last year and it got rid of the wrinkles but it gave me two creases under each eye that I didn’t have before, they disappeared once the Botox wore off but I’m not sure the trade off was even worth it.

I’m 44 and in perimenopause and can completely relate to feeling like my face has really changed from how it looked a few years back. If it could be of any help, this is what I’m doing:

• I’m on HRT and testosterone cream
• I get prescription strength tretinoin and skinoren (azelaic acid) and use them both in my skincare regime. The key to any skincare routine is consistency. If you aren’t consistent then you don’t see any progress.
• I use SPF 50 religiously, every day - even on cloudy miserable December days when the sun is but a faded memory of better times gone before and I’m staying inside the house all day.
• I use a light therapy device a few times a week which is great for clearing up any spots quicker, anti-aging and fading scars/marks/pigmentation. I use this one https://www.currentbody.com/products/dermalux-flex-md Yes it is crazy expensive and there are cheaper alternatives from this supplier and others. But, before you buy, do your research! There are some masks that will never deliver the benefits they claim because they don’t have enough diodes to be effective or the wavelength isn’t intense enough. For light therapy to work it has to be sufficiently bright that you need to wear goggles to protect your eyes. If the device doesn’t come with goggles or recommend using them, it’s probably a dud!
• I get Botox 2/3 times a year in my forehead, between my eyebrows and by my eyes/upper cheekbones which helps smooth things out and slightly lifts my brows, opening up my hooded eyes.
• I take Spoiled Child liquid collagen daily. Note that not all collagen supplements are created equal. To be effective it needs to have a dose of at least 5g, must include vitamin c or your body won’t process it effectively and should ideally be bovine collagen as that is the closest to our natural collagen, so works more effectively.
• I try to drink plenty of water, get enough sleep (currently a challenge given the peri night sweats) and do some exercise every week. As far as diet, I tend not to eat lots of overly processed foods, tend to eat more lean meats and try to stay away from too much bread etc.

I also have irritating under eye bags that are there regardless of how much sleep I may have had. They aren’t technically bags, but are actually a result of the natural loss of volume in my upper cheek/tear trough area as I’ve aged, which makes it look like I have bags. I could get filler but I’ve also heard stories about it migrating so for me that’s not an option that appeals. In an ideal world, I’d get an upper and lower blepharoplasty, sorting out both the bags and my hooded lids in one go, but at the moment I’m not in a rush to go under the knife, nor to be out of pocket by £5/6k!

In the meantime, I’m persevering with the above and wishing for a miracle! 😂

Hopefully some of what I’ve shared above may be helpful for you.

Oh you know just the usual ‘I’m shallow for having this’ versus ‘I hate my face’

I would be concerned about the broken bones as that could be a sign that your hormones have dropped to a level that has weakened them. Maybe have your hormones tested and start HRT if you are not opposed to it. Aside from helping your skin it has so many other serious health benefits.

Hi
You need vitamin D with K2
Sounds like your bones are not strong which will make you look old and no amount of skincare can fix that
Get your bones-the framework- sorted first

Mine is the same OP and I hate it! I’m 42, started botox at 38 which has done wonders for wrinkles but the lower part of my face just seems to be sinking down! I’ve always looked younger too but I have really aged in the last few years. Considering some cheek filler to see if that will help.

Hi OP,

I feel this i am 41 my face has changed to, also peri stage of life I thought I was going to step into my 40's wiser knowledgeable and invisible. Anyway I had Botox and filler in my cheeks and it made a huge difference in up lift to my face. I feel more confident and happier now.