Help!! my face is melting :(

[GeraniumRoses]

I am 43 and in the last 2 years or so my face has changed quite a bit.
I always looked v young for my age till recently, think maybe as I am ND and often we look younger.

I went to the hairdresser today and the haircut was good but I barely recognised myself- my face looks like it is melting like a candle or something. It had started already but it's reached a different tipping point now.

Is there anyway to reverse this???

I keep getting targeted ads for facial yoga but not sure if it'll make a difference? Has anyone tried this?

I don't think facecreams will work; it isn't the texture of my skin or even the fine lines that is the issue.

It is that my mouth is a rainbow-shape, and i have hollowed bits under my eyes. My jawline is a funny shape now where it goes "out" at the sides after my chin.

I am really unhappy with how I look.

The only other thing aside from the face yoga i can think of is that i went for a b12 shot and the nurse also does botox and she was saying if I got it higher up on my face it would make a difference.

But I don't know anyone who's had botox (or at least told me they get it) so not sure whether what she said was correct.

I have been taking collagen for a year but it has made no difference and today I can see my face has 'slipped' even further than it was a year ago.

Any suggestions very gratefully received thank you in advance!!

Please no "this is normal part of aging" replies l know I am here and fit and well and should be grateful for this, and I am... I just want my face to stop looking so droopy x

As you get older, you look older. It's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Any "work" you do or have done to "reverse it" is futile. You'll just look like another tragic who has had "work done".

I have never understood the women (and men) who are frightened of looking their age.

Be careful with Botox as you will need to stop as you approach your 50s.

i met a female partner of one of my husbands friends last week, and she was mid 50s, she’d clearly had Botox done, her forehead was smooth and line free, but the rest of her face had normal ageing, jowls, sagging etc, and it looks so incongruous. And it made her look significantly older than she is.

it’s the third time in recent weeks I’ve seen it. The woman on our local shop,has the same issue, but she’s had a lot of fillers with it. Her face almost looks mummified, I suspect when she looks in the mirror and her face isn’t moving it looks fine, but in real life, it has that waxy unnatural look as she talks and moves.

Thirdly a woman I work with had it all done as well, she was an attractive woman, but she has the line free forehead, with the normal age everything else, like the first woman, I thought oh god what have you done when I saw her.

im not against Botox, but think it is something for your forties only and only if your face is good enough everywhere else to take it.

it has to be done very very well, and even people who do get it done well ie Amanda Holden, it is starting to look very obvious, not in still photos, but when you see her move and speak.

much better to focus on hydration, a good healthy diet, maintaining a healthy weight, and consuming enough protein, no one looks at your face in isolation, only we do that, or others if something is off, past that it’s the whole person.

fillers round your mouth won’t squish it back upwards again, but for me, a bit of filler in my chin (which had become more receding with age) improved the sadface. Something to do with how the muscles work harrisclinic.co.uk/blogs/blog/what-is-myomodulation-and-why-is-it-so-important

I’m in the same boat. I’m 51, it started early forties for me, definitely when my DM died. I think the melting has slowed down though, if that’s any consolation. It was a fast decline around that time, shocking as I too always looked very young. It’s not continued at the same rate on my face, I’m now having the fast decline on my body, slightly crepey skin on tummy and chest that I recognise as ‘older lady’.

It took me a while, but I actually agree with this. I look roughly my age, maybe 5 years younger at most, but I'm fine with that really. I eat well and look after myself, wear decent quality clothes with a nod to current trends more than anything. I'm grateful to be my age.

However, I understand that it can be really difficult for some to acknowledge that our faces change as we age and everyone should do what makes them happy in that respect.

Botox needs to be done by a real expert, and not just a doctor who has done a course, someone with loads of experience and skill, do your research!

I’m 50 and have been getting it for years, but it’s tweaked as I age so I still have some movement in my forehead, but less lines. I also feel it lifts my whole face a tiny bit if I get it high in my forehead, between my eyebrows and beside my eyes. I have tried it to turn my smile back up but it’s not as dramatic there.

I do find laser treatment works really well. I aim for a mix of IPL and frax 3 times over the winter. It really evens out your skin tone and stimulates collagen production. Apart from Botox it’s the one treatment that actually makes a difference for me.

To the embrace your aging face crowd I would ask why? I do lots of things to make me happier and healthier both physically and mentally. It’s no different than wearing nice clothes, getting a flattering haircut, lifting weights, getting a walk in the sunshine, enjoying a coffee with friends. If it improves your life and doesn’t hurt someone else, do it!! We don’t have to because invisible old crones in a cottage in the woods any more! (Although that’s sounds appealing sometimes 😆)

You sound young to be feeling like this, you must have bad bone structure if your face is melting at 43.

What a lovely way to make someone feel even worse

You said you had a recent hair cut. Is the cut/colour still working for you? I ask as I realised at the start of this year that my usual blonde was leaving me looking washed out. I’ve recently switched to a darker colour and look so much better.

I posted something similar on here in my early/ mid forties too OP. I have always looked young for my age too. I'm mid fifties now.

Yeah, your face changes. I thought when you got older you just looked like you but with more wrinkles. But your actual face changes. You do look different, I have started when I see myself unexpectedly in a reflection as I don't recognise myself. Its not fun.

You sort of get used to it. I remember when this change began, and like you I was really freaked out.

Facial sag is a bitch. I don't have much by way of lines or wrinkles but, like my Dad, I sag. Its a genetic thing apparently whether you are a person who sags with age or not. Having high cheekbones helps, but I don't, so...

I know you don't want to hear it but I really would recommend coming to terms with it. You will age. It is inevitable. Get to know fabulous older women living life to the full. Meet women in their 60s who can lift more and run faster than you. Honestly, take up an active hobby so that your focus shifts to the amazing capability in your body rather than how it looks. Learn something new or do something worthwhile, so your focus shifts to your accomplishments rather than how your face is looking today.

I was on a face anti-ageing facebook page but came off. Seeing adult women from all decades, from their 20s to their 70sa obsessing over every minor detail of their face and begging for help to stop something they could not stop. That is no way to live a life. Spending a minimum of hundreds a month, and Lord knows how much time and energy 'researching' ;treatments'.

Do the basics, moisturiser, eat well, exercise, suncream. Then live life.

Have you lost any weight lately ? It often shows on the face .

The problem with thread lifts is that you can get lumps under the skin where they are placed. Even if that doesn’t happen, they just don’t last, so it’s sort of a waste of money.

My issue is more to do with my jawline, and jowls which run in my family. My mother has them and I know she hates them - she would never do anything surgical, which is fine, that’s her choice, but has spent years trying to cover them up with scarves and polonecks.

Personally, I would rather do something to improve it, rather than spend years looking in the mirror not liking what I see. That’s my choice - everyone is different. I’m not bothered about Botox or fillers, I just want to keep my face shape. I don’t want to look in the mirror and not recognise myself. If someone else thinks that makes me vain, so be it.

I’m still researching surgeons, there are a number of threads on here by people who have gone through it, and they make good recommendations.

I posted this on another thread where someone had lost weight and their face felt ‘saggy’. I also lost quite a bit of weight over 2 years and my face and neck felt a bit droopy and not as tight as before. I had radio frequency micro needling and have noticed a marked difference - jawline, marionette lines and general tautness hugely improved. It’s not Botox so my face is mobile, but just looks fresher. I was pleased with it, so just thought I’d mention as an option. I’m sure though, you don’t look bad at all - it’s probably your new haircut making you view your face differently and we’re all our own worst critics at times!

I met a female partner of one of my husbands friends last week, and she was mid 50s, she’d clearly had Botox done, her forehead was smooth and line free, but the rest of her face had normal ageing, jowls, sagging etc, and it looks so incongruous. And it made her look significantly older than she is

This. I had a long chat with a male hairdresser, who did offer botox and fillers himself. And he looked his age, or a bit older. He said he is glad he never discovered botox when he was younger as it made you try to fight every sign of ageing, He said you then end up with a really uneven face, as you describe. We talked about people we knew who had botox who were younger than we had realised, as the botox made them look like an older person trying to look younger.

Some people suggest Foreo Bear and gua shas on here.

I am 54 and my face collapsed in the menopause. I have very good skin, but my sharp jawline is a thing of the past. Also have jowls.

I am doing nothing about it. Just looking in the mirror less.

@gillefc82 May I ask where you purchased your eye goggles? I have the shark mask and worry about my eyes. Thanks.

Also anyone tried the Neogen Plasma treatment favoured by the likes of Shirley Ballas?

Please can you tell us more about your treatment and where it was done if possible. I’m interested in this one.

I’m fast approaching my mid 50s and get Botox. It totally depends on the look you’re going for. I’ve never wanted the taut skin wrinkle free look and the dentist who does mine does an amazing job of giving me enough to reduce the wrinkles but not stop them completely.
There are quite a few different laser treatments you can get now for sagging like software.
Strategically placed filler can also help ‘lift’ the face.
It’s a myth to believe all women who have treatments end up with a non moving puffed up faces. A skilled aesthetician can make a massive difference. At the end of the day it’s all very well saying we should be happy to age and lots of us are but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to soften things or improve things as much as we can. You have to look at your face for next 40 plus years (hopefully) why shouldn’t you feel good about yourself. Be that through acceptance of ageing or through treatments or like a lot of people, both!

Yes of course! I had a course of 3, but saw a huge difference after the first one.
You go in with no make up (although they will clean your face first anyway) and apply a numbing cream. Once that kicks in they therapist applies a square shaped ‘wand’ to your face that shoots very short needles and some heat into your face (it doesn’t hurt, but I imagine without the numbing cream it might). She does this all over the face and neck. Your face will go quite red immediately afterwards, but for me, that went after a few hours. She applies a cooling mask afterwards.
The advice is to sleep on clean pillowcases and not apply makeup for 24 hours.
My skin didn’t hurt afterwards and the ‘hot’ feeling and redness went after a few hours.
i could see a difference almost immediately but the effects build over time, so a week after the treatment there was more improvement.
What I’ve seen is:
fine lines around eyes and deeper forehead lines have gone
marionette lines have gone and corners of mouth aren’t droopy
Jawline noticeably tightened and lifted
jowls lifted
chin lifted and neck tightened and firmed

I Had it done at a skin therapist who specialises in face and body treatments and has a salon - if you search RF micro needling in your area there are likely to be a few who do it. With mine, I had an initial consultation so she could see what I wanted to target etc.

Sorry that was an essay, but please feel free to ask anything - it was a bit of a game changer for me!

Why is that about 42 this starts?
I literally seemed to go from fine to melted candle overnight when I was that age.
I'm now 47 and it's happened again. Overnight. My face is saggy and hollow.
Aging is a privilege blah blah blah but I don't want to have to fight through layers of floppy skin to wash my face!

I dont care about wrinkles (I dont really have any) but this makes me sad.

I find drinking loads of water really improves my ageing skin but you have to do it everyday. I really hate drinking water but I get it down somehow. I drink 4 pints a day with a vitamin C tablet dissolved in it. It takes a couple of months and then you really start noticing the difference.

Perimenopause and decline in oestrogen. HRT may help. Though it did nothing for my skin.

That’s a really horrible thing to say.

Hi thanks for your lovely detailed reply!! Where do you get the prescription strength stuff from?
YES my eye bags are the same, not bags just horrible hollows where there is always a shadow. Even with make-up. I think it makes me look really shifty somehow, and I hate hate HATE it.
Did you get the HRT from the GP? X

I broke ribs twice, ankle once and nose once, all in 2025.
Am generally quite accident prone but never before have had a broken bone.