Where should a 70 year old bride get a dress from?

[WonkyConk]

My DM is getting married in a few months and is struggling to find a dress.

She was married young the first time around (in the 70s), and had a cheap dress, this time she’d like something classy, money isn’t an object if it’s the right one.

However she’s 70, short and round 🤣, so struggling to find the right thing. 5’3” and probably a size 16 to be more specific. She’s also open to trousers possibly. No real preference re colours or patterns. Any suggestions?

This Katya Wildman is my favourite. The pale gold still looks bridal but more forgiving on older skin tones than white or ivory. The belt will help enhance the waist and you mum said she didn’t want floor length/ long. And sleeves as a lot of older women don’t like the top of their arms.

https://katyawildman.com/products/coming-soon-grace-gold-and-cream-brocade-to-be-sent-out-wc-23rd-june

this is absolutely stunning!

this is so beautiful too

Op another thought would be to look in the bridesmaids / evening gown / prom dress shops.

But just because hes in a kilt she doesn't need to wear trousers. I think some of those coats people posted earlier were lovely as is the coat dress just above.

I’m in your camp. I’ve been perusing the entire site and my credit card trembled with fear!

I didn’t realise the feather cuffed dress is polyester - ridiculous at that price. That’s definitely out.

Lots of dresses are polyester, inc ££££ bridal gowns. I think trying to find silk is almost impossible.

This could look fabulous
https://katyawildman.com/products/coming-soon-grace-gold-and-cream-brocade-to-be-sent-out-wc-23rd-june

Its not about tweed skirts and elastic waists - body shape changes, skin tone changes (including in darker skinned women), hair texture changes.

I’m long and lanky and broadly the same weight I was in my teens and 20s but my body shape has changed and styles which were perfect then simply don’t fit and suit post 4DC and a few decades of wear and tear. My late mother's early 60s short cocktail dresses were once my youthful goto for parties now don’t fit the same way or suit me.

Some brands plainly design for young women’s body shapes, others target a broader age range. Its not an unreasonable question to ask of a personal shopper and the answer was rubbish. I don’t buy from "elastic waist" brands but some brands do include modern clothes which work on older body shapes - any personal shopper should be able to find them.

Now I like that and it would suit someone curvy too

I’m going to add a few cheaper things in here as we don’t know the budget- it’s all well and good suggesting £2000 dresses or even £400 dresses - but in case she’s not in the market for that expense - I realise people will say maybe well they aren’t that special - it maybe IPs mum wants something she would ‘wear again’
bearing in mind- my height, my size ( which is identical) too

https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/plus-size-metallic-silver-fabric-short-sleeved-v-neck-a-line-dress-with-ruffled-hem-eg02131?variant=45881180750011&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21130350880&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21130353808&gbraid=0AAAAAC1MV3cBXzEobe0D1Bs5fG1VagenG&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2JzwzvDikgMVd5dQBh0PBC9QEAQYCyABEgJTYPD_BwE

https://www.roman.co.uk/sequin-embellished-maxi-wrap-dress-14428759?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17418966397&gbraid=0AAAAACsLkkL43RLqh9wnBqOGKjxapCyPH&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0tX70_HikgMV85WDBx0AUhc1EAQYAiABEgKZovD_BwE

https://cicinia.co.uk/products/sheath-column-square-knee-length-lace-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dresses-1?currency=GBP&variant=44597336047855&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=57091c7e89a7&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=23444730163&utm_content=190945299523&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23444730163&gbraid=0AAAAABQbtGQ3Q9M3I_-ZqixaLfIhRoeME&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mn85_HikgMVfJKDBx3v-hP6EAQYAiABEgKB0PD_BwE

https://www.lightinthebox.com/p/beach-wedding-two-piece-a-line-mother-of-the-bride-dress-wedding-guest-elegant-plus-size-jewel-neck-tea-length-chiffon-lace-short-sleeve-jacket_p9264657.html?sku=1_33407%7C20_59&litb_from=connexity&utm_source=connexity&utm_campaign=connexity_uk&clickid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mn85_HikgMVfJKDBx3v-hP6EAQYCiABEgI5F_D_BwE&cnxclid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mn85_HikgMVfJKDBx3v-hP6EAQYCiABEgI5F_D_BwE&gad_source=1

https://cicinia.co.uk/products/a-line-v-neck-lace-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-1?currency=GBP&variant=44634142998767&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=57091c7e89a7&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=23444730163&utm_content=190945299523&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23444730163&gbraid=0AAAAABQbtGQ3Q9M3I_-ZqixaLfIhRoeME&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mn85_HikgMVfJKDBx3v-hP6EAQYDSABEgIMCvD_BwE

I hate disagreeing with you @Crikeyalmighty (it’s unusual) but all those look really cheap to me. I wouldn’t wear any of them - also same height, size, colouring and age as the bride. The OP says budget isn’t an issue for “the one”.

I wouldn't wear them either and if their saving grace is price, they're not even that cheap. EleanorMc67"s Stine Goya Loulou de Saison suggestions aren't that much higher price wise and are much nicer.

Trouser suit?

https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-stevie-dress-light-gold/p114364654
https://www.johnlewis.com/alie-street-kimber-sparkle-knitted-midi-dress-sparkle-latte/p113922798

https://www.johnlewis.com/hobbs-eliana-crepe-midi-dress-pale-yellow/p114588554 But with one of the amazing jackets from earlier in the thread.

Could you order a few and do a home try on?

Ok I get older women might not want strappy tops and short skirts but JL isn't exactly full of those type of revealing styles.

I think its a really odd thing to ask the assistant in JL. With the assistant thinking the same as I am old people clothes being tweed skirts and jumpers.

Ah I missed the budget thing - in that case yes I would go better - I was I guess trying to be somewhat helpful because people often mention £400 dresses as being ‘cheap’ whereas for many women it just isn’t . It’s hard to know isn’t it without knowing the lady in question because my MIL ( RIP) would definitely have worn these at 70, whereas at 64 I’m a bit more boho/funkier myself - still in my Rieker boots etc- personally I really like that Katy wildman ( I think that’s the name) wrap gold and cream coat dress if budget not an issue - my MIL would have hated it

Though it's not my thing, I can see why some people really like Katya Wildman's stuff, as some of it has a retro 50s feel that's done well.

However, I'm suspicious about such a heavy fabric being used for a belted dress. A coat, yes, or an A-line/un-waisted dress, as golden damasks/brocades are almost universally flattering - a little bit of light-reflecting shimmer without it being OTT. But I think it has the potential to be stiff & lumpy, especially around the waist.

I share @PhaedraWas 's preference for the Jasper Conran dresses in a similar shape but a lighter silk, which is the right sort of fabric weight for this style. Though I'm not sure that a belted shape is right for the OP's mum, full stop?

It is indeed difficult to know - & there's clearly a market for what you've suggested. I might well be posting stuff that's a bit too "funky" for a 70 year-old. But my 71 year-old friend is very chic, & my 80 year-old mum is very elegant too, so I was thinking of what they might wear if they were ever to remarry!!

I certainly don't think £400 for a dress is cheap (& I find the mark-up on stuff that's promoted for weddings utterly abhorrent!!! So much tat at stupid prices!!). But I started at the higher end as the OP said that budget wasn't a concern.

There is actually lots of high-street stuff that could work well, from standard stores like H&M/Massimo Dutti/COS etc. About to post some from there to redress the balance of pricey v cheaper!!!

Yep , what I posted wouldn’t in all honesty be ‘me’ ( and as disclosure I only have 2 things in my wardrobe that cost over £120!! It’s just not something I spend a ton of money on , I’m more a skater cut dress , leggings and boots and black denim jacket kind of ‘lack of style’ at 64 - tge 2 things I have that were a bit more are an Anthropologie kind of tiger print layered dress , the other a velvet coat - I guess it’s because the 70 year olds I have known have been nicely dressed and smart but didn’t do funky or fashionable and definitely wouldn’t have been spending some of the sums of money I’ve seen - were more wanting to dress like Camilla Parker Bowles style. !!

And what's wrong with that?! I think Penelope Keith wore some amazing outfits when she played Margo Leadbetter in The Good Life - a lot of them came from Harrods!

If she wants less structured how about this by Stella McCartney? https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/product/stella-mccartney/clothing/midi-dresses/paneled-hammered-satin-midi-dress/46376663163047673

Stella knows how to cut flatteringly so her clothes look good at any size.

I agree entirely that JL is not where I’d send a teen/20 something for hip and trendy fashion and the strappy top end of fashion. Its market really starts a decade above that and at higher price points than the shops I loved at that age.

That is why it seems so odd that a personal shopper in JL ladies fashion faced with an older woman customer (who has no hard budget limit) cannot suggest anything beyond “we don’t sell stuff for older women”. Older women with decent budgets are their core demographic.

My experience of personal shoppers is very limited but the answer I’d expect to that question would be to ask to understand the customer better, independent of their age or preconceptions. That was the key value or a personal shopper in my (very limited) experience - finding items which worked on my body that I would have overlooked due to assumptions about ranges and myself.

Reading the Ops post I don't think it was a Personal Shopper I think it was just a shop assistant who said it.

But I think the Assistant has been a bit stumped by the question or turned her through to tweed and twin sets.

Yes it sounds like an assistant, not a personal shopper although it's a shame they didn't show a bit more imagination / curiosity.

Also while I wouldn't have worded it like that myself, I do think the bride is entitled to ask any question she likes without being upbraided for it.

Incidentally I have seen tweed skirts I would happily get married in so less of the lazy denigration please.

Try looking on the Facebook site Pre-loved Wedding and Occasion Outfits for some ideas. Lots of photos of ladies of various ages and sizes wearing their MOB dresses, many of which could be used for a wedding dress. This could then give your mum some idea of what she is looking for. The descriptions are also very detailed so your mum could then find out the brand etc. Gillian Harvey do some ready to wear dresses so might also be worth taking a look at that site too. Good luck and congratulations to your mum.