September Wedding Guest

[OneNewEagle]

I could do with some help please. I have been looking at clothes on websites since Christmas and I have not seen anything OK at all.

As title says I have been invited to my nieces wedding at the end of September.
I want to feel sophisticated and beautiful without actually being those things, comfortable would do.

I’m in my 50s, 5ft 4, I used to take regular but nowadays always seems too long. I am an 18 tops 12-14 bottoms, but returned an 18 marks top today as far too tight.

I have blue eyes, was fair now grey curly hair. I have had a lot of health problems so I usually live in leggings, tunics, jeans, tops mainly in black. And dresses or shorts and vests in the summer, usually more colourful. I like and own clothes that are reds, deep burgundy, purple, light blue, orange so I don’t mind colour. Navy does not suit me at all.

I had a huge blitz on my wardrobe last year and gave away all my smarter clothes, well gave away my wardrobe really. Anything I had not worn in the year before, apart from funeral emergency style clothes, has gone and I feel so much better without it all. All my clothes now fit properly in my wardrobe and are all easy to wear. I am completely starting from scratch with this outfit as I had no idea I would get an invite to any family stuff ever again.

I don’t want anything that makes me too hot, feels scratchy or digs in (nd and menopause). I also have a disability so can only wear very comfortable flats, if I’m bad I will have a noticeably limp and need to sit which I’m really really conscious of. Clothes that dig in will add to the pain. Whatever I buy I want to be able to wear again, as it’s September I presume in the following spring and summer. The September timing has completely thrown me as I don’t know what to wear then?

And the extra but that’s not helping me is that I’m estranged from my family so this is at the front of my mind. I’m always the one looked down upon, gossiped about and so on so I want to feel comfortable in my own skin , blend into the background and avoid all the negative vibes aimed at me. Just be able to be me and sit quietly and enjoy my nieces very special day.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. As for budget I’d prefer to spend £100 on dress (doesn’t have to be a dress I’m open to anything) but looking at prices I think £200 - £300 is more likely. Plus footwear approx £100. I can only afford that if it’s all clothes I can wear again.

Have a browse on here at the wedding guest dresses. Some lovely colours. The wrap style might suit you.
Around £100 mark so you could get a wrap,bolero jacket or thin floaty cover up too.

https://www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/plus-size-wedding-guests-dresses?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12444607619&gbraid=0AAAAABh_Mv7hYNhZXZaDvw82zVJh-1AEK

If you are near a John Lewis they sell a range of brands. A suit might be an option too?

@24Dogcuddler thanks when I tried their dresses before they didn’t suit me. I think it’s because I’m bigger on top so then aI get all this extra material I don’t need over my legs.

Sadly I no longer have a John Lewis local to me or I would have already been there. There’s no decent clothes shops where I live, just a nearish outlet, so I assume I will have to source everything online. I used to use John Lewis, Debenhams and so on for nice outfits. I prefer to browse in shops really as you can feel the material and know instantly that something won’t suit you.

If you are 18 top and 12/14 bottom surely separate co-ordinates are the way to go?

These are massively over budget so this is a suggestion of what to look for rather than buy. They are also all wearable for masses of other occasions.

https://www.wiggykit.com/products/scarf-skirt

https://www.wiggykit.com/products/the-beetle-skirt-red

https://www.wiggykit.com/products/the-copain-skirt?variant=55640954274171&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=16794875925&gclid=CjwKCAiAqKbMBhBmEiwAZ3UboHBnUtrPobDHI490ktU4yMOqcTxQ2wWBxg4TTPJ8sgCJCfk2Jj5hoC6rEQAvDBwE

https://rachelcomey.com/products/nesom-skirt-ponte-flannel

Or something like this?

https://www.boden.com/products/women-verity-sateen-skirt-multi-stripe-r0863mlt

https://www.boden.com/products/women-rhea-trim-detail-silk-top-navy-t1994nvy

So far as shoes, you'll find stylish comfortable flats in any of the big supermarkets or Next at astonishing prices. Obviously if you want to spend £100 on shoes that's fine but it's perfectly possible to find nice flats for a lot less and you could put the balance on the outfit.

Firstly, @OneNewEagle - it’s only February, so there’s no need to sound so down about not having found an outfit yet. It’s actually lovely to have six months to browse, consider, explore the sales …

I also agree that you’re not going to find a dress that fits an 18 top and 14 lower half straight off the peg. It would however be possible to buy a size 18 dress and have it tailored to fit the rest of you. But separates are the obvious alternative.

I think you’re wise to relax on the idea that clothes must be bought in physical shops. You have half a century of familiarity with fabrics - why not trust decent websites and your instincts?

Wiggy Kit is actually a great suggestion - if you keep an eye on the sales.

I have to get up now, but will try to come back with suggestions later. Have a look here, though:

https://www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/

These are beautiful thank you especially the first two.

I had seen that Boden skirt which is lovely. I had a striped linen summer skirt, much more casual, that it reminds me of. But the navy puts me off, the moment I have navy in an outfit it washes me out completely and I’m very pale in the first place.

For shoes, have a look at the Fitflop Mary Janes. They’re marketed as being as comfortable as trainers. I haven’t managed to see them in real life yet but they’re on my list as potential summer work shoes.

Where do you usually shop?

Thank you I’ll have a look at them.

I shop all over the place usually not spending too much. I’ve tried vinted recently but been sent stuff in really bad condition so not doing that again.

also charity shops here and there, fatface, marks, John Lewis, Tu, George, lots of stuff from lookiero all different makes, next, a couple of summer dresses from seasalt but not very good for me and I currently like nothing on their website, evans, Matalan. I also have some very old bits from Debenhams, mantaray and Laura Ashley.

Unless they’ve changed loads monsoon are always too long, white stuff tried loads on last year none of it fitted properly even the trousers and mint velvet sizing isn’t right for me sadly.

my much depleted wardrobe is a mixture from all of those places. Some years old, some very recent.

Dressy skirts are quite hard to find. The only other brands I can think of are Sister Jane, Batsheva and possibly Baum und Pferdgarten (but there's nothing particularly dressy in the current collection)

Coast and Phase Eight have some (not my cup of tea)

These are pale blue and described as blue but doesn't look very blue to me from Max Mara

https://gb.maxmara.com/p-5101076206008-wkdformica-light-blue

https://gb.maxmara.com/p-5101026206002-wkduomo-

This unfortunately is navy but would be fabulous (lots of skirts seem to be navy)

https://gb.maxmara.com/p-9101026106001-smmgioia-midnightblue

Batsheva
https://batsheva.com/en-gb/collections/bottoms/products/anja-skirt-in-iris?variant=46905379913977
(unfortunately navy and site has lots of navy again but I'm struggling to find not navy)

Sister Jane
https://sisterjane.com/collections/bottoms/products/glow-flora-midi-skirt?edit=one

https://sisterjane.com/collections/bottoms/products/ember-tapestry-midi-skirt?edit=one

I appreciate not everyone's cup of tea, although I would wear them.

I too think separates are a good idea. Would also agree that if you need to save money, then spend less on the shoes & more on the dress/top + skirt. Does the £100 preferred, £200-300 if necessary, include a jacket of some kind - it being September? Do you have anything to spare for jewellery, or do you want your clothes to do the talking?

If you did want a dress, you said you would prefer an outfit that didn't constrict you - so something not fitted at the waist?

If you were to wear a skirt, how are you with fitted waistbands, like some of the skirts above? (I'm apple-shaped so have a definite preference for elasticated!!!)

Speaking as someone who's also larger/bustier on my top half (with zero waistline!), I like dresses that skim over the boobs without flaring out massively & adding too much volume down below where I'm slimmer.

Do you like embroidered/slightly hippyish pieces (you'd mentioned Monsoon)? Or graphic or one colour? Florals? I have some vintage designer kaftan-style dresses that are pretty fab & so easy to wear (& eat & drink in!!). They're floor-length though (I'm tall) - would you prefer something above your ankles?

Also - you want something that looks fab & you feel great & very comfy in - but also want to blend into the background ... & be able to wear again (quite regularly I assume if you want to get value for money out of it)?

Throwing a few ideas out there. A dress that I think might flatter your shape (I have an older version that's similar, & it's really easy to wear!), from Jigsaw. I'd try it on now but wait for their sales ...!! I think it's elasticated at the waist, which is a big plus. You may have to have it taken up. It would be good with your blue eyes & fair/silver hair too?

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/products/recycled-satin-u-neck-dress-blue

I'd wear with metallic flats. These pointed ones are a favourite brand for comfort, but are pricier than you need to spend for something similar.

https://airandgracelondon.com/products/anais-gold-leather-pointed-t-bar-flats

For instance, these leather Forever Comfort ones from Next?

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su798984/h74581

If you don't think you'd get much wear from metallic shoes afterwards (I wear my various pairs with everything!), then maybe these?

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su871350/v12229

Or these? I love cool greens with silvery blues.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su938824/g53043

No idea what this retailer is like, but this dress gets great reviews by women with boobs/tummies that they want skimmed not clung to! You like burgundy & it's satin which makes it dressier. Again, silver flats & maybe rust/orange accessories?

https://jaki.co.uk/products/dahlia-satin-dress-burgundy

Another satin one from the same company. I DO know that the satin fabric used in the Jigsaw one is great quality. I don't know about these, but someone else on MN might know. Also comes in an aqua shade but I think darker will look more expensive. Would look good with rusts/oranges/golds.

https://jaki.co.uk/products/cleo-open-collar-satin-dress-maple

https://tallulahandhope.com/products/linda-skirt-ecovero-twill-buckling-print

Or this two-piece, which you could mix & match afterwards? Would go with lots of other colours.

There's also a black satin top & skirt version - the blouse is out of stock currently but you could sign up for a notification. Might even be worth trying the smaller size if it's just your boobs that make you an 18 on top - wraps are very accommodating!!

I think a top like this doesn't need a matching skirt necessarily - you could just wear long wide satin/velvet trousers with it, with pointed fancy pumps.

https://tallulahandhope.com/products/linda-skirt-royal-satin-crepe-jet-black

(Oh, I forgot, many people on MN disapprove of black, even in satin with embroidery & in autumn, for wedding guests 🙄!!)

This is rather fabulous if the colours are you - & would be so comfy! Made from pure silk recycled from a vintage kimono.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4430348610/?ref=share_ios_native_control

Or even this if you want something bright - as a PP mentioned, you may need to get the skirt part tweaked.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/jasmine-kimono-midi-dress-orange-1000609741.html

Photos this time.

Depends on whether this coppery brown suits you, but it's a type of satin & would look great & glamorous with golds. Money left over for everything else too!

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1320884001.html

Might be worth looking at 100 stars. They have a lot of co-ordinating options

E.g. https://onehundredstars.co.uk/collections/resort/products/crane-periwinkle-palazzo-pants

The first SJ one is lovely and would make a very nice base for a wedding outfit- and not stupidly expensive either.

I’m starting to look at the shops you mentioned.

Fatface have a swirly skirt - it’s black but personally I think the no black at weddings brigade are bonkers. You could always have a colourful bag. https://www.fatface.com/style/su772957/w67189