Wedding dress for obese, short mid-50s

[SilverVixen101]

Hiya

After over 20 years together DP and I have finally decided to get married. Originally for tax/inheritance reasons (we have two kids) but we've agreed we want to have a great party for all our friends.

The only other bit I know I want is a splendid wedding dress. I am well known for having a very glamorous/avant garde approach to fashion. The problem is my figure is quite a challenge these days to present attractively - so please can I have some advice.

I am 5ft with an obese BMI. I am almost completely spherical and with big boobs (32H) My waist still goes in at the sides but at the front I look heavily pregnant (though at mid-50s that is obviously not the case). Even for my stature my legs are disproportionately short (I can't wear long boots because the cut into my thighs at the back when I sit down). My wrists have become very chunky and so my arms don't look good. I can't show my back because I have a long row of birth marks between my shoulder blades that I hate. My cleavage is quite nice but I am getting very wrinkly there these days and my neck folds are awful.

Please can anyone suggest a flattering style? Any colour will do - white/red/black/pink/green. I'm keen for it to look over the top/bridal. My ideal dress is Carrie's Vivienne Westwood one in SitC. I think I want a massive veil or maybe hat as well because I am balding.

I have presented a rather unflattering portrait of myself here but I know I can still look fabulous - as I manage it all the time - I just wanted to be realistic about what I am dealing with!

Congratulations!

Can you give your actual clothing size?

And your budget?

Are there any particular brands you find work well for you?

And are you happy to have garments altered to fit?

A stylist friend once commented to me when we were talking fashion, that most women - however much weight they carry - have really nice toned clavicle and shoulders. She also said that the secret is proper fit and careful tailoring - think how smart even a portly man looks in a made-to-measure suit.

So could you go for something with long, fitted sleeves (not so tight you're like a bursting sausage of course) that is very slightly off the shoulder - but NOT strapless. I have no idea why every bridal dress I see is strapless. It's really not a flattering style for most women. Just showing your clavicle bones and the tips of your shoulders. Hinting at your cleavage, but not flaunting it.

You'll need to get a decent fitted bra - Rigby & Peller would be my advice, and properly fitted underpants.

Your dress should be made to measure and lined* *(and if it were me making it, I'd probably interline each piece - it's a couture practice) & with a decent petticoat. The lining will help even out flesh lumps and bumps (as will good underwear). If you look on the inside of couture ball gowns, tey generally have an internal corset - that's how you get that flawless non-bumpy look.

I'd probably go for something a bit princess line/ fit & flare, and hitting mid-knee, so we get the curve inward below your knee into your calf, but not the wodge of fat many women have just above the knee on the inner thigh (well, I know I have that, and a hemline that falls in the middle of my knee is most flattering - I have good calves).

I'd go for a dark-ish colour. But strong, if your colouring can take it. And a fabric that is mostly natural, but maybe with a bit of a stretch - silk jersey is gorgeous, or sometimes you can find silk made with a bit of elastane.

You say you want something spectacular, but honestly - less is more. Be stylish & glamorous by being a bit understated. Hint rather than display

For example:

Off the shoulder dress

I have NO idea about that brand (I make rather than buy my clothes), but that shawl collar neckline is elegant

@ParmaVioletTeai love the pink one. Shame I don’t have anywhere to where it

This is a Chinese scam site.

Why do people do this?

Do what?

Wander wide-eyed onto S&B promoting Chinese scam sites.

It happens so often here.

I am everything from an 8 to a 20 depending on style of clothing - looking at labels. Most commonly 14-16 but with narrow shoulders and back but enormous boobs lots of things don’t fit well. Can spend up to £2k but would rather cheaper. Happy for it to be £50 if it’s the right dress!

don’t really go for specific brands as I buy a lot of vintage - kaftans and floor length sequins.

All excellent advice but where could I look for such a dress? I live in London. BTW my hair is long and turquoise. Also I always wanted a Voller corset - so think this is my chance!

My friend is a simialr height and shape and wore this to get married in last year, with Birkenstocks and a shawl - she looks absolutely perfect. There are a lot of lovely dresses on this site, all are very well made too: https://kemitelford.com/collections/dresses/products/commot-gold-smocked-dress

I’m looking at wedding dresses atm, am 56, though with different physical issues to manage. Like a pp I think strong colour is great at our age. I went to Harvey Nicks just to look at designers, and am haunting net-a-porter. For me, many of the dresses I look at that I think could actually suit me are Oscar de la Renta - they design for actual women - might need to be Vinted at your budget I think but they also do a second hand range. Another designer I saw at the weekend was Double JJ - I’m not sure I’m going to go that route but their prints are completely fabulous. Will link…

Hang in, what time of year are you marrying?

Double JJ dress

This one might suit me better than you but there are more cleavage friendly versions.

Im really disappointed at the rental sites, I was hoping for good options there, you might do better than me on them.

This one looked completely gorgeous on the hanger another double jj

Wear a big white dress! How often do you get the chance to do it!!

I’m trying on white (cream) wedding dresses too, but I have to say that my perception is that they make me look more aged than colour does. That might be in my head of course, but then that’s where I have to live…

What do you mean? I ordered something from this site at the end of last year and it was fine.

Go to a bridal salon in a smaller town/local neighbourhood (not the fancy kind that charge you £50 to visit) and try dresses on. I called around and made sure they had larger sizes in stock as samples . Alternatively wed2be is walk in. My DD’s dress was wed2b and was 3/4 length so would fit you perfectly lengthwise

My dress was blush which looked better than ivory on me and was way over the top really for 51 but I didn’t care, i wanted a train and lace! If by chance you are in Bristol area I can recommend wear I went and you could even try on my dress which was altered for large bust and 5’6 with flat shoes

My next places to go will be John Lewis and Selfridges. I’m also going to be looking for Norma Kamali dresses as I’ve seen at least one that I thought was dynamite.

Some of these are gorgeous and they are well made (I think hand made actually). https://www.heritageclothings.com/

I'd get something amazing made!
A friend had an incredible dress made by Linda Brooker, in London.

Im struggling to see how you are obese with a 32 H chest, thats my size and I am Size 8. 10 on a bad day. What size are you?

Have a look at The Couture Company. They have some gorgeous options including ones for curvy brides. Some of them would go amazing with your fab turquoise hair.

www.the-couture-company.co.uk/gowns/