Funeral help please

[Stylequestionquick]

I haven't been to a funeral in 10 years and now I have to go to three this month.

I don't know what to wear. Can anyone recommend a cheap outfit? Also my husband doesn't have a black suit, would navy (with a black tie and shoes) be ok? I've had a quick look at basic black suits and they are so expensive.

I don't have any black shoes apart from DMs and I don't like buying cheap clothes but at the same time I can't afford to spend my monthly budget on one outfit! Any advice gratefully received.

The funerals I've been to recently have been really quite casual-lots of fairly normal clothes-dark trousers/jeans/dresses and jumpers with a dark coat. Some shirts and jumpers but I haven't seen many ties

Charity shops often have black frocks - I have a lovely Hobbes little black dress for funerals that cost next to nothing. Depending on how close the deceased is to your family, men can often get away with black trousers (Oxfam or Primark), a black tie and a dark coat or anorak. Cheap black shoes are ok, since if you’re only wearing them for funerals, they don’t really need to be particularly comfortable or long-lasting.

Dark skirt, trousers or dress. Burgundy, brown, navy, dark grey, green all fine. Same with shoes boots and coats. Same deal for gents. Dark suit, coat, black jeans, white or dark shirt/tie/ jumper etc.
It's very likely you have something suitable in your wardrobes.

I've found a cheap dress. But we think my husband will be ok in a non-black suit? One will definitely be an all men is shots affair and I don't want him to be any side glances!

I would frown at jeans - not really suitable unless specified by family. Women wear black coats occasionally but men just don’t wear black suits but do sometimes wear a black tie. I think a navy or charcoal suit is perfect for men and women certainly wear any dark colour or dark print. Always buy something you will wear again.

any sober colours are fine at most funerals - black, navy, darkish grey.
Although at some more colour is welcome or even encouraged.

I forgot to pack shoes to wear with the dress I’d taken for my MiLs funeral and ended up raiding a late night open Sainsburys near where I was staying for a very cheap pair of ballet flats. 🤦‍♀️ They were fine.

Any Dark smart clothes will be fine.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Black chinos and a black V neck sweater with a white shirt and a black tie would be acceptable.

Men - navy or grey suit and black tie
Women - black trousers, neutral shirt or top, long grey or navy cardigan. All things you can wear again. Whatever coat you've got, no-one would expect you to buy a new coat just for that occasion. You could add a sombre coloured scarf if you felt it needed it.
I wouldn't go in all black unless you know the chief mourners will also all be in all black; you could look OTT.

I think I might be a chief mourner at one (other is a friend and third a close family member of my husband). All a nightmare ATM.

Thank you for your advice!

Any dark colours are fine
your DH’s suit and shoes will be fine
sorry for your loss 💔

If you were wanting a black coat Primark has one for 26 pounds .

Yes, navy suit is fine. Dark tie without a garish pattern.

One will definitely be an all men is shots affair

What does that bit mean, is that a typo?

If you're worried-can you ask others that are going what they are wearing?

I got two lovely black suits for DP off Vinted.

Ive been to numerous funerals and nobody has worn black. Is that even a thing now?
If I had to I have plenty of black in my watdrobe but if I didn't Id check out the charity shops.

Your DMs will be fine, clean and polished.

Prince William wore a navy suit at the Pope’s funeral so navy suit will be fine.

Thank you, navy suit it is.

They are three very different people. I expect two will be more casual but the third will be quite smart. I've opted for two dresses in two sizes so hopefully one will fit. I'll polish up my boots too.

Sorry you’re going through so much loss.

Really don’t sweat it as no one remembers unless it’s particularly outlandish.

3 funerals in a month is very hard, I’m
very sorry for your loss.

Navy suit and black tie is perfectly respectable and respectful.

We sadly have had several family funerals over the last two years. Soberly and smartly dressed is more important than wearing all black.

@Gettingbysomehow Black is certainly worn by women as many of us have a black coat and trousers so it’s easy and nothing new to buy. Navy ditto. Just popping a cashmere pullover underneath is easy or a not flashy blouse. At DMs funeral in 2024, the older folk wore black, and my DDs. I wore navy. DH had navy suit and black/navy tie. Others who didn’t want to spend money wore what they owned and that’s ok too.

Sorry for your loses
As others have said, a navy suit is absolutely fine.
I don't wear dresses often, so tend to wear dark trousers, plain blouse and a black or navy blazer. I feel a blazer smartens the overall look up.

Unless the dresses have long sleeves, you might want a cardigan because churches/sitting still can be very cold. Most supermarkets will have them, or vinted/charity shops. Or even a warm pashmina.

Thank you all for the kind words. It's been horrible to be honest, but got to keep going on.

I think it's because of COVID, since working from home more and much more relaxed dress at work, I don't really have many smart clothes. I have smart dresses for happy events, but they don't really work for a sad event.

I have anxiety so do worry everyone will be judging if we got it wrong but when I think about it rationally I know I wouldn't judge anybody else so why would they?

Thank you! I do have a thick navy coat so I hope that will be ok (and probably needed given the time of year)